Page 11 | Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

rosemary201 · 2021-03-22T12:22:47+00:00

Another day, another school Interestingly, the first letter from a boy Dulwich College is today accused of being a “breeding ground for sexual predators” in an open letter organised by a former schoolboy that contains more than 100 anonymous accounts of assault, harassment and sharing intimate photos online. The letter, written by Samuel Schulenburg, 19, a former pupil at the south London private school, said “experiences of assault, revenge pornography and slut shaming were exacerbated by ... young men who ... laughed at stories of sexual violence”. His letter includes about 100 anonymous testimonies written by girls who went to neighbouring schools, such as James Allen’s Girls’ School (Jags). One claims there was “an established rape culture” at the school.

Notenoughsleepmumof3 · 28/03/2021 10:56

This....

Perhaps DC parents and KCS parents are more upset about the taint on their childs' schools reputations because what they are paying for is the elitism. The feeling they are above everyone else in terms of education and social class and this has made them think they will have an advantage in life. The arrogance is pretty disgusting in addition to just not being true. The victims are these girls and that is the only thing people should be focusing on. The schools and parents need to pull their heads out and take a long look at themselves and what they represent.

365sleepstogo · 28/03/2021 10:14

@selondongal

and some did happen on school premises/jurisdiction e.g. school coaches that are shared with JAGS pupils

selondongal · 28/03/2021 10:00

@Beetle11

Parents should blame the school if boys are now being tainted by association. If schools such as DC had managed the situation properly and addressed concerns when they were raised, these open letters may not have been necessary.

The Head of DC has been ignoring the calls of huge concern from the JAGS Head. That and DC staff obviously turning a blind eye (the offences against the girls don't happen on school premises so let's just sweep it all under the carpet). And the school telling their boys they're wonderful, and to be assertive & confident.

He's only reacting now in public because Sam's letter has been picked up by the broadsheet press.

365sleepstogo · 28/03/2021 09:53

State versus private misses the point, IMO.
This is an issue with leadership and safe guarding in these schools.

Behind a payall
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/i-warned-head-of-dulwich-college-about-abusive-boys-five-years-ago-xkxgjftk8

MsTSwift · 28/03/2021 09:09

Anecdotally many of my friends lovely sons (our decent state schools) are dating girls from top name public schools. Looks like the girls are voting with their feet...

MsTSwift · 28/03/2021 09:07

The beauty of comps is they are so big the clever sensitive boys can find their tribe and there is safety in numbers. Several friends with sons like this are absolutely fine in our local large state all boys school.

I have heard no equivalent reports to the Everyone’s invited about our local boys school my girls are at the sister girls school. I am sure it’s not perfect but the hideous toxic combination of the elitism and entitlement and collusion of the school eloquently described by Accidentally simply aren’t present.

shallIswim · 28/03/2021 07:33

@RedGoldAndGreene

I've seen lots of threads on here over the years from grown women unsure if they were raped or sexually assaulted. The stories often include their rapist gaslighting them and saying things like "But you didn't fight me off"

or "did I lead him on?"

I don't know what PSHE education is like but a lot or adults don't even know facts like you can be raped in a marriage or by a person you've previously had consensual sex with.

On MN there are often people who say stuff like they are sending their child private because they don't want their child mixing with badly behaved kids at the comprehensive. The word feral is often used. They refuse to believe that private schools even have bullying when the reality is that they are desperate to keep the kids who will get their top grades as that's their ticket to more kids who'll get the top grades.

There's plenty of tv programmes about state schools and the problems that they face. In the TV series Educating Essex/Yorkshire etc they show you what it's like in state schools with poor reputations. You don't see sexual assaults but you see what state schools with poor OFSTEDs are like including what inclusion is like. Coupled with fictional programmes like Waterloo Road, Akeley Bridge etc there is a snobbery about what comprehensives are like.

Absolutely. All the parents whose 'clever sensitive' boys would get eaten alive if they went to the local state school so absolutely must go private. As if private is a vaccination against bad behaviour. It's obviously just different bad behaviour. And what about the clever sensitive boys whose parents can't afford private? Guess what? They end up in the comps... so your clever sensitive child would in fact have company. But there's a belief that that clever children can't possibly spring from the poorer classes.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 28/03/2021 04:50

@Beetle11

Parents should blame the school if boys are now being tainted by association. If schools such as DC had managed the situation properly and addressed concerns when they were raised, these open letters may not have been necessary.

This ^^

Beetle11 · 27/03/2021 23:32

Parents should blame the school if boys are now being tainted by association. If schools such as DC had managed the situation properly and addressed concerns when they were raised, these open letters may not have been necessary.

Notenoughsleepmumof3 · 27/03/2021 22:45

@breds "I do not believe I am exaggerating when I say this risks damaging an entire generation of innocent boys"

7% of the population is privately educated. You are exaggerating. That is hardly damaging and entire generation. But, I'll tell you who is damaged. The victims.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 27/03/2021 22:45

We must speak up for girls and against rape culture everywhere.

But without naming schools or boys.
Without damaging "reputations".
In a way "we" approve of.
In a purely theoretical way.
In a NIMBY and not my Nigel way.
In a what about the boys way.
In a making sure boys are protected way.
In a NAMALT way.
In a don't make me face something I don't want to way.
In an abstract way.
In a let's talk about what else might be to blame way.

Girls came out and spoke of horrific experiences. Your answer is what about the boys?

jessstan2 · 27/03/2021 21:44

[quote Rostbif]@jessstan2 Sydenham High? [/quote]
Yes.

RedGoldAndGreene · 27/03/2021 21:43

I've seen lots of threads on here over the years from grown women unsure if they were raped or sexually assaulted. The stories often include their rapist gaslighting them and saying things like "But you didn't fight me off" or "did I lead him on?"

I don't know what PSHE education is like but a lot or adults don't even know facts like you can be raped in a marriage or by a person you've previously had consensual sex with.

On MN there are often people who say stuff like they are sending their child private because they don't want their child mixing with badly behaved kids at the comprehensive. The word feral is often used. They refuse to believe that private schools even have bullying when the reality is that they are desperate to keep the kids who will get their top grades as that's their ticket to more kids who'll get the top grades.

There's plenty of tv programmes about state schools and the problems that they face. In the TV series Educating Essex/Yorkshire etc they show you what it's like in state schools with poor reputations. You don't see sexual assaults but you see what state schools with poor OFSTEDs are like including what inclusion is like. Coupled with fictional programmes like Waterloo Road, Akeley Bridge etc there is a snobbery about what comprehensives are like.

Stokey · 27/03/2021 21:32

I do not believe I am exaggerating when I say this risks damaging an entire generation of innocent boys

@Breds Yes you are exaggerating. There are thousands of boys in this country who have never been near a private school, it is no way a whole generation of boys that are being damaged by a few articles about some private schools.

Plenty of kids around where I live could argue they're tarnished by being in schools known for "gangs" or areas with stabbings.

I don't think an adult should be harassing any child on his way to school about media stories but this article yet again makes boys the victims and ignores the girls.

Breds · 27/03/2021 21:15

I wrote about it in this forum yesterday. I wrote that the media and social media call students of private schools sexual predators and perverts. The media calls all schools, and therefore all students, no matter if they are guilty or not. There are thousands of wonderful and nice boys behind the walls of private schools. Thousands of innocent children.They were described along with the criminals under the single title "SEXUAL CRIMINALS".
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/b3836732-8f08-11eb-ab4d-f4c45359834c?shareToken=30f01745fb13741df7f38f952269377e&fbclid=IwAR2do-0IgDMrlsT9pNVjTzlgeu8F7HPLapRaN5gW232o4N9TT0fyDuleWUk

Rostbif · 27/03/2021 21:05

@jessstan2 Sydenham High?

Stokey · 27/03/2021 20:54

So sorry you experienced this @AccidentallyOnPurpose.

@shinealightonit the Highbury dossier (linked earlier in the thread) has some good examples of how pernicious the school culture can be. Lots of things and staff measuring girls' skirts, telling them their shirt is see-through, making them sit in different parts of the class and laughing off boys' behaviour as "banter". Generally supporting the boys and making the girls feel that this behaviour is acceptable.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 27/03/2021 20:11

Thank you for your words . But I don't want to make this thread about me . I answered the poster asking how it can happen. And I'm out of it now, I made it.
However that are many ,many girls that are living with this now. That's what they fight against, what they fight through. What they have to live with every day.

And instead of listening posters bang on about the school's reputation, lengths of skirts, the "reprehensible" behaviour of the girls and so on. Looking at anything and everything, except the possibility that maybe,just maybe there is some truth the "school culture" thing. Yes there are issues in society, with some of the parenting,what kids are exposed to and many other things. It doesn't mean that the school's attitude to sexism,misogyny,sexual harassment/attacks and rape should be ignored.

@Oohhhbetty oh yeah. "You went to the best school, had the best opportunities , why haven't you achieved more?".

Oohhhbetty · 27/03/2021 19:49

@AccidentallyOnPurpose triggering in a sort of good way if that makes sense - just so good to know that others are out there feeling the same even though I wish you didn’t have to. People in real life (away from mumsnet) look at me like I am crazy if I say that I was so unhappy at my elite school, they think I should be so grateful for having an amazing opportunity but it was such a strange and damaging time of my life. The glossy brochure doesn’t show the reality - not for everyone I know, but I was so damaged by being around those boys. I couldn’t take advantage of the world class facilities, I was too unwell.

Beetle11 · 27/03/2021 19:46

@AccidentallyOnPurpose
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences -it must have been a difficult thing to write xx

MarshaBradyo · 27/03/2021 19:45

Accidentally that is awful

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 27/03/2021 19:41

[quote Oohhhbetty]@AccidentallyOnPurpose I want to give you the most enormous hug. Sending it virtually. Your words are very triggering to my own experiences. Take care. X[/quote]
I'm so sorry. In my attempt to explain what I merely hinted at in my other posts I ignored the fact that it might be upsetting and triggering for others who have experienced the same.

It pisses me off so much when people claim schools can't possibly have any kind of influence or effect on this because... parents, it's a good school,their kid is a nice kid, policies and whatever else. They absolutely can and they do . Pretending otherwise and what iffing and what aboutering doesn't help anyone.

scentedgeranium · 27/03/2021 19:37

Sorry I meant @Oohhhbetty not @shinealightonit

scentedgeranium · 27/03/2021 19:36

@shinealightonit and @AccidentallyOnPurpose wow.
I'm sorry you had those dreadful things done to you. And sorry that people still don't seem to get it.
Those who protest 'oh I have a quiet and studious boy I don't recognise any of this', take note.

Notenoughsleepmumof3 · 27/03/2021 19:19

@accidentallyonpurpose you are so brave to share your story here. Speaking out helps force change and change is needed. I'm so sorry, and I send you strength and compassion.