Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

@snowdropsinapril “ I would be interested in hearing from someone who will still send their children to DC now?”

I wish it was that simple. We have informed the council so our state school application is no longer in the mix. We have already turned down another independent school. We can inform the council we need a state place, but we will be bottom of the list, so goodness knows how far the school will be from our house. We both work, full time, I work shifts. So we can’t homeschool. We don’t have any drop off/ pick up support and we have a younger child at nursery which could be miles from the school. What do you suggest we do?

OMFG

Just got out and got today's Sunday Times. In it, there is an anonymous letter from a DC boy's mum claiming "I don't believe I am exaggerating when I say this risks damaging an entire generation of innocent boys", etc. Having read it, I don't find the letter balanced, I am afraid. There are occasional generalised statements like "we must speak up for girls" but the author's emphasis is strongly on the damage done to the boys' "personal reputations' and to the image of private schools in general. Personal stories are all from the boys' parents' perspectives, e.g., "the mother of one boy told me she fears his mental health has declined over this public shaming". I am sorry but it can't be remotely compared to what the victims went through. Because of this contrast, the author sounds a bit pathetic imho.

There is a letter from Heather O'Donnell, a former pupil at Alleyn's about the 2016 letter signed by 160 pupils. This was mentioned in the above posts. What was not mentioned (or maybe I missed it) is that there is a testimony from a former black DC pupil who was forced to participate in a mandingo (slave) fight with another black pupil during the DC rugby tour of America. The school's culture was such that he didn't even question it at the time as "the banter" was so normalised. It beggars belief but the Times notes that his account "was corroborated byt the pupil he was ordered to fight". I am just speechless

Yes, as in Lord of the Flies, children need protecting from themselves. Whether they are victims/ complicit/ trying not to be disloyal/ trying to fit in with peers. .... thinking it is cool to be dominant, porn saturated, given sex workers by their fathers instead of learning loving respectful relationships.

There is also another point that the defensive posters are missing. Their quiet,sensitive kids can and do become victims themselves in an environment like this. Either by being bullied ,harassed,ridiculed themselves ,by witnessing such awful behaviours or attitudes or by (at it's worst) becoming accomplices and supporters of the offenders in an attempt to keep themselves safe.

If you think such a culture and environment is detrimental just to girls,think again. Your boys are more harmed by living this day to day in complicit challenge than by having it all out in the open, with hopefully change following soon.

If you care about your boys, you'd be grateful to know what they might've witnessed and experienced (since by your own admissions you have been completely in the dark) , rather than furious at it coming out and blaming the girls for what happened to them.

I do also feel that some private schools were promising so much, I truly wondered how on earth they would actually deliver, especially where they made out that my typically average son was some special amazing person who could fit into their values, blah blah blah...I felt it was all for our benefit and they wanted the cash.

But yes surely DC Head has to go. If DC was sent serious allegations 5 years ago then that is reprehensible.

I found the rugby story extremely upsetting, where 2 black boys had to fight each other as part of some slave reenactment, and that happened on a school trip and must also be recent say about 5 years ago.
I can't see why anyone would want to send their child to DC now.
I would be interested in hearing from someone who will still send their children to DC now?

This kind of stuff can happen to anyone and anywhere but if as it seems DC knew and did not act then surely the school is not a safe one.
I do realise that some of this abuse happens off school ground too, but it is the culture.

Extremely sad.

It also says in the article
"Department for Education said its guidance was clear that allegations of abuse, including peer-on-peer abuse, should be referred to the police and/or council safeguarding officers."

None of the 3 schools seem to have done this so all have questions to answer (although the heads of JAGs and Alleyns at the time have already moved on).

@365sleepstogo
Sorry, you're right. I checked it wrong.

"Generally speaking, most people are under no legal obligation to report a crime, whether they knew about it in advance, witnessed its commission, or found out about it after the fact"

According to the Times article all 3 heads were aware of the allegations 5 years ago and dealt with them between themselves with one DC boy being suspended and a "letter of apology" sent to JAGs.

.

@Beetle11- thanks, couldn’t access the full article

@Breds - was the author also a victim? AFAIK they don’t have to report to the police. They reported to the school who then have to follow the safe guarding guidelines.

Five years ago, a letter of sexual offense charges was signed and posted to Dulwich College. Why was it not handed over to the police? There is a legal requirement for anyone who knows about a crime to be reported to the police. In this case, the obligation to notify the police is to:

1. The author of the letter
2. Addressee, that is, the school.

The previous heads at JAGS and Alleyns knew of allegations and were in contact with DC about it. I think that is mentioned in the article in The Sunday Times.

Also, if this behaviour has been known to all 3 Dulwich private schools for so long why on earth didn't the heads of JAGS and Alleyn's push for more action?

To what extent did they know? Genuine question to anyone in the know.
And perhaps they did escalate?
The current heads of both schools are new so accountability falls to prior heads, senior staff and governors.

@Notmynom I completely agree. If this has been ignored by senior leaders, and they had knowledge of it - the Head has to go. Now.

There are state and grammar schools listed.
My children's school isn't in the press as there's no famous alumni. Famous schools are great clickbait.

In England, over 7% of children attend private schools.
Of the 5,000 cases posted on Everyonesinvited, 400 were reported as involving private schools. This gives us about 8%.

"Overall, more than 5,000 anonymous testimonies have been collected on the site".
"An investigation by the online magazine Schools Week found more than 400 testimonies name private schools, but there are also many accounts from pupils of grammar and state secondary schools."

Everyonesinvited has now stopped publishing the names of institutions. In an interview today with the Observer, its founder, Soma Sara, said she was concerned that a handful of high-profile independent schools are taking a disproportionate amount of the blame for a culture that is pervasive in both private and state schools.

“This is a universal problem. It’s a global issue,” said Sara, 22. “And I think it’s so important that we don’t narrow our focus to private schools, because it risks making these cases seem like they’re rare or anomalies, or that these patterns of abuse can only happen in certain places. But no, they happen everywhere, all the time. And they can happen to anyone.”

@Legoninjago1

The article is linked above ( with a free token). People have referenced it already and particularly its claims of "I do not believe I am exaggerating when I say this risks damaging an entire generation of innocent boys" and other laments of : what about these poor boys and their reputations, their mental health, their chances of getting into university etc.

So no, I didn't find it "excellent" or "balanced" at all really.

My SIL ( JAGS & DC parent with children 20 years old +) basically says " yes, it's about time". Some of the DC parents on here are also generally shocked by the teen behaviour ( drinking/ sex etc), whereas parents of older children have already dealt with this stage of parenting.

If today's story in the Times that a letter containing similar allegations was sent to Dulwich College 5 years ago and not acted upon is true, surely the headmaster will have to go?

Also, if this behaviour has been known to all 3 Dulwich private schools for so long why on earth didn't the heads of JAGS and Alleyn's push for more action?

^The news is shocking. Maybe I am naive, I was state school educated and badly bulled through my school years. We were so excited to send DS to DC. Now I feel physically sick.

Do we still send our DS and try and become part of the solution? Or walk away and cut our losses?^

Money talks. Make sure they know your money will walk if things don't change pronto.

Excellent balanced article by the mum of DC boy in the Times today.

Woops I started a thread and then saw this one.

The news is shocking. Maybe I am naive, I was state school educated and badly bulled through my school years. We were so excited to send DS to DC. Now I feel physically sick.

Do we still send our DS and try and become part of the solution? Or walk away and cut our losses?

I consider myself a strongly feminist minded women. DCs are under no illusion about equality and it is my responsibility to make sure that is always the case. DH and I share home and childcare responsibilities equally. Wherever I send my DS it is my duty to ensure he learns about respect for himself and others, boundaries, consent. But what if the school creates a counter culture that isn’t in line with our belief system?

I have lived locally to the school for 15 years. I had no idea. We have no back up plan, so we would need to contact the council, and likely need to send DS to what ever local school has a place left. Probably will be a not close, not great school. I may contact our local primary after Easter. So will many others I am sure.

Do we send him, and then just wait and see/ get out as soon as we can? The Junior school has some degree of separation, but reputation is of course reputation.

Very sad for those girls who have been impacted, experienced this. Sad for the innocents caught up in this. Cross at the school for this culture that has seemed into the fabric of the school.

Mostly I want to make the right decision for my DS who enjoys learning & school so much.