Yr9 girl refusing school - what happens?

Parents can also apply for an EHCP.

In my experience schools aren't great at supporting children with SPD and anxiety. In fact they often make things worse. There's a massive lack of training and experience amongst school staff, and they are usually reluctant to get outside advice as it costs them.

We got a tutor when DD couldn't attend school, but had to put in a complaint to LA to get this. DD is now in an independent specialist school.

I believe that more schools, particularly secondary, are going to have to look at creative ways of supporting those students who have been so affected by the past year that they can no longer manage going into school. Where these students have worked well at home during this time, it is good evidence that the student isn’t just refusing to be educated, but that they cannot cope with physically being on the premises.
To a certain extent, schools have their hands tied by the system; student doesn’t attend, parents get fined. No alternative. This needs to change. However, teachers cannot be expected to teach face to face and online in the same way - its impossible to sustain. I also dont think parents should have to pay a business to tutor their child online as an alternative. Once a student is off rolled as their parents decide to home tutor them, they come to a point of no return. Schools could be more creative and work collaboratively with other schools to provide some type of online teaching for certain students, with maybe one school providing English, another Maths etc.
We’ve been through extraordinary times, we need extraordinary solutions. For our children’s sake.

What happens next is your daughter needs CBT. She’s clearly suffering with anxiety. Her mental health should come first, and explain this to the school.

My Dc1 began school refusing around this point late y9 early 10. School were initially supportive as we navigated pcahms, cahms etc and offered reduced timetables.

As soon as we got close to a diagnosis they started threatening fines and prosecution, so we had no choice but to remove and home educate.

Thankfully there was an alternative provision at a local college, who accepted her and she was able to get her maths and English there.

She was finally diagnosed with ASD at 17. Plus anxiety and depression. She now is 20, has a great job, is doing brilliantly.

Sorry thats probably not what you want to hear, the outcome for DD was good in spite of her mainstream school. And I totally understand the wanting to wave a wand, I did too, but unless the school will make adjustments (ours would only short term) it's tricky.

I’ve never heard of Interschool so I just googled it. It has very mixed reviews!
uk.trustpilot.com/review/www.interhigh.co.uk

CAMHS, who are also involved due to dd’s poor mental health have also suggested we apply for an EHCP.

I had a conference with school and they created a colour coded timetable for dd, where she can choose to go to a lesson if she feels able, or can work separately in a study room. She has a pass which allows her to get up and go for a walk or go to a safe space. She has a self soothe box at school for when she feels distressed and she’s been allowed to drop two subjects completely. The staff brought her a hot chocolate on Friday. It’s made things more tolerable for her. She doesn’t go to form at all now, she likes to start the day alone in a quiet area and so they’ve arranged this for her too. Dd is year 10 with suspected ASD.

If DD is unable to attend school due to her poor MH the LA have a statutory duty to provide education. This could be online, home tutoring, hospital school or at a centre/unit.

I second applying for an EHCP.

Banana. I try and signpost alternatives because when our children become desperate nobody in education will tell you how to achieve a different type of Education

Knowledge not only is power, it also gives you back control which is important in making the right choices

When we were in that dark place no one was there to give us perspective or information, we were just fortunate to have heard about the school when I was looking at options

Ok I’m going to tell you our story, it’s not what you may want to hear but hopefully is a positive story with an alternative solution if you end up needing one

DD is noise and movement phobic, this came on at puberty and she was diagnosed with severe misophonia and misokinesia

Her condition was so extreme that return to her outstanding state school became impossible

They wouldn’t help her or us some school do but this one chose not to, I mention this now as some schools will act as caretaker for students like ours

We forced the issue applying for an EHCP and in the mean time removed DD from the state school and enrolled her in an Internet school which is where she still is 6 years later

For our DD this was the turning point in her education, it’s not an advert for the school but I can honestly say they took my broken by the system child and made her whole again

They’ve been supportive of her conditions of which she now has many sadly, have allowed whatever exemptions she has needed at the time be that microphone, homework etc

DD is now in 6th Form, her opportunities from the school have been fantastic, she’s been council member twice, is an ambassador for her subject and speaks to all the lower school and education board about her subject

During lockdown she’s had specific work experience twice with fantastic links to her field of work (she already earns money from this)

The teachers really do value the students who are all around the world and this has broadened DD’s look on life

When we placed her at Interhigh we really took a leap of faith but she was a round peg in a square hole and this is a setting that she fitted

sometimes as parents it’s damn hard and scary to admit that our child needs something different, hopefully you can reintegrate your DD but if you can’t there are other routes and hopefully our story will show that these can be successful too