How common is sexual harassment in secondary schools?

I had experience with a few instances at school. One guy went round taking pictures up girls skirts including at a year 5/6 disco. I also remember being forced to sit next to a guy in one subject who used to poke my boobs continually when the teacher wasn’t there. I had zero serious interest from boys at school as I wasn’t one of the pretty ones but still dealt with instances like this. Never reported either. Also remember a poor girl having pictures of her boobs sent around school by an ex boyfriend - think the teachers got wind of that one though.
Unfortunately even if it isn’t that common it only takes one male in the entire school to do it. Definitely educate your girls on what isn’t acceptable and who they can tell if they experience anything, I wish my mum had!

Comments are a problem. It's the thin end of the wedge.

So comments are nothing to worry about then? I think the girls may well not be happy about that and it says it all. Nothing physical so no need to worry. Parents do not see boys in a group so nothing to worry about there either. Leave it up to the school. DC swears when out with friends. But that's ok too. He spares his mum from listening to his swearing. So here we have the problem. Boys just do what they want and it is nothing to do with the parents. It bloody well is!!!!

It tends happens but if it does it's only comments nothing physical

I don’t think it’s parenting

How can parents visualy see and here their teens when in a group environment? I know they swear when out with friends, but not round me for example.

They may be respectful to teens on the house but not at the park.

Schools would have better knowledge than parents in a group setting and should be able to enforce the correct message when it’s seen or complained about

I know of my teens were assaulted I wouldn’t hesitate to call the police. However they tend to stay away from those Leary boys anyway.

Depends on parenting. Schools don’t make boys misogynists. Schools don’t make girls idolise boys. There are more factors at play than this.

www.bbc.com/news/education-36071502

Over 1 reported rape a school day in U.K. schools, from info a few years ago. (600 reported rapes over a 3 year period with 190 school days per year).

Not sure single sexed education is the way to go. It can lead to idolisation of boys by some girls and extreme misogyny in some boys.

Co Ed education with clear boundaries of respect and single sex toilets and changing rooms to keep females safe. All this gender neutral stuff and ‘be kind’ is naive. There have been serious incidents with girls ‘being kind’ to boys who have taken advantage.

Obviously “eat” should have been “wear” in my earlier pdf!

Schools must have behaviour policies and discipline policies. They must include sanctions. They also must teach PHSE. However by the time you have sexually interested boys, it’s almost too late. Some change from being ok at primary to nightmares a few years later. Schools can do a lot to not tolerate sexual behaviour but they often tolerate it. As the parents do. Perhaps this will be a wake up call to schools and parent alike?

In my own workplace it is very rare amongst staff - but very widespread between the service users.

Schools are not workplaces to the pupils.

DD was verbally harassed walking home from school by a boy in her year. She didn't tell me at the time bc she didn't want me to make a fuss.
Far worse was the bullying she experienced from other girls in her year. Far far worse.
So I'd say that inside school they're pretty good at making sure it doesn't happen. Girl I. Girl bullying though? Awful. One head of year told me 'oh I can't believe little Florence would do that - her family are so nice'. Just brushed away

I finished secondary in 2017 and it was very common. I had quite a lot.

I think it was worse around years 7-9 from what I witnessed, and boys started being friends with girls after that

For me it was all the way through though. But this is only my experience. Unfortunately it's likely for girls to have at least some brush of inappropriate encounters imo, depends on the school too I guess

I think bullying can happen in all schools. I cannot see how sexual harassment happens in single sec schools. I can see there might be homophobic comments or comments relating to sexuality but I don’t really feel that’s what most people are talking about with regard to sexual harassment.

Schools are responsible for DCs behaviour on the way home. It’s also important that heads talk to each other if boys at another school harass girls on the way home. No one should stay silent. No girl should have to eat trousers to rebuff the attention of boys. Or cycling shorts. Or long skirts.

I think it depends on the school.

Just heard major issue raised at Fine Arts in Belize Park - which is just down the road and supposed to be a good school!

That's pretty depressing @Hurtandupset2. Such a tired way of thinking, blaming girls for boys' inability to control themselves.

I agree it's about education both from parents and at school. And clear lines as to what constitutes sexual harassment.

I really don't think it's something that most schools take seriously, and unfortunately, many girls seemed resigned to it as being normal behaviour for boys (looking at porn, making suggestive comments, etc).

It always seems that it's left for girls to change their behaviour or dress rather than tackling the boys' views. Just because it's easier, I'm guessing. Doesn't make it right though.

They've changed the uniform at my dd's school as they decided that knee high socks and just above knee length skirt were too suggestive/sexual and were too distracting for males within the school.

Rather than educate the boys, they decided it was the girls' fault for enticing them to look/distracting them from their work and changed the uniform instead.

I don’t see this as as co-Ed v single sex problem. I think it’s universal. Some of the testimonies on everyonesinvited were from single sex schools!! Both boys and girls. And it’s not always something that happens at school but more likely outside. I would rather my daughter was hanging out with boys from school, whose parents I know and can contact if any trouble, rather than with complete strangers! Girls at all girls schools are not blind to attraction and still like boys... in fact apparently they are more likely to be more obsessed with them than those who mix with boys every day!

This is more about teaching the youth of today how to recognise and deal with unwanted behaviour. Very difficult in these times of constant social media access and not helped by rappers/artists who seem to be obsessed by sex (WAP springs to mind)! In my day, Frankie was banned from relaxing but these days it’s anything goes!! Not surprised our kids have a strange view on life!

[quote Iamsodone]@Giggorata when you say constant do you mean inside schools, at parties, walking down the streets?[/quote]
I meant in secondary schools.

And I agree that from what I have heard from the girls, that most schools seem to be in denial.

Ehh do girls need to mix with boys they find distasteful? If they go to a girls’ school, they are much freer to choose their own male friends. Girls in girls schools are perfectly normal and not boy mad. Quite discerning in fact.

I don’t think parents who have objectionable boy children can ever be perfectly nice. They have not picked up on their boy’s behaviour and if they have, they have done little about it. Boys are often expected to be laddish and parents give boys a lot of space to be “boys”. How that affects others is rarely thought about.

There is no way that school can address these ingrained beliefs in male pupils. It starts in the home. It means parents must be aware of their son’s personalities during their upbringing. The boys need guidance and good role models. Parents have a massive role to play.

Single sex schools aren't the answer, any more than separating races and religions at school is the answer to racism and inter-cultural tolerance. Children need to mix, and schools need new systems to deal with things that used to be culturally acceptable but no longer are.

Send your girls to all female schools, it will give them a chance to grow up without 'school boyfriends', porn on phones, being rated as pretty or not, or which girl is sexually available, these l have seen in co-ed schools.

As it does everywhere else.
If it happened in my office people would call it out in a heartbeat and the perpetrators would be disciplined. So no, it doesn't happen everywhere, and with the right training, and time, a cultural shift is possible.

Schools should deal with it but you're living in fantasy land if you think every girl tells their parents about every incident and then every parent reports every incident and every school follows up every time.

Dealing with low level sexist bullshit is draining. Many women and girls zone it out or deal with it by telling the boy to fuck off.

Of course it happens constantly. As it does everywhere else.

I don't think it's fair to blame parents either. Most of the unpleasant boys at DD's school have perfectly nice parents. But there will be some boys with bad attitudes, and these behaviours spread. It then becomes the norm, I think teachers don't challenge it enough, but suspect that they've got enough they're being made responsible for already. There really needs to be a zero tolerance approach to all the low-level crap.

If my daughter's bra strap was being pinged at school, and she didn't feel confident about telling the teacher herself, I would write to the school. If parents aren't doing that, they should be. But some parents think "that's how it was when I was at school so it's normal." But it isn't, and good schools do take it seriously. Ours is a relatively small school, so maybe that helps, but all schools should be dealing with it under their behaviour and bullying policies.