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Original poster

"Pupils who lose friends in school move may fail to flourish" - is this what we've condemned our dd to??

31 replies

overthehill · 05/11/2007 22:58

I saw this article mentioned in Mumsnet news roundup and it made me feel awful as this has just happened to our dd. To be fair to us, she was in agreement over choice of school, but she is really missing her friends. What experiences do other people have of this, good or bad?

OP posts:
Original poster
overthehill · 05/11/2007 23:59

I was surprised when I read the article as I'd considered that she'd have the best of both worlds in many ways: primary school friends that she'd known for ever whom she could still see & new friends to branch out with, & it certainly seemed to work out like that for my dsd, who did the same. I know it's silly to worry, but the article made me concerned about ds, who's in Yr 4 and finds it much harder to make friends - but at least he'd benefit from having dd there. My dd's birthday is in December too & we've also had discussions about her party. Current guest list includes 7 primary & 6 secondary school friends, but things may well crystallise over the couple of weeks as she's about to go on the Yr 7 trip to an outdoor pursuits centre (which she's also dreading, poor girl).

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/11/2007 23:27

i moved schools 14 and then a year after that went and lived in France for a year and went to lycee there.

did me more good than harm, i'd say!

pointydog · 05/11/2007 23:24

Depends very much on the individual. Some children are affected by a move far mroe than others. I think the social side of it is something to consider - and knock on self esteem issuies - but shouldn't necessary stop any move from happening.

I moved school at age 16. That was a shit age to move.

DontCallMeBaby · 05/11/2007 23:18

DH's family had to move during his first year of secondary school, which I've always imagined would be even more disruptive than moving between primary and secondary. I don't think he was ever bullied ... if he was, it didn't have any lasting effects, he has about the most buoyant self-esteen of anyone I've ever met. And he went on to get a first class maths degree, so no apparent academic impact either.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 05/11/2007 23:12

hmm - not sure about that - I moved to a school 400 miles away when I went to secondary school - where I knew no-one - and didn't see any of my "old" friends during the school holidays either (my parents moved house in my first term to a different part of town). I can't say it did me any particular harm.....

seeker · 05/11/2007 23:10

My dd moved to a secondary school with two others from her primary school. Most of the rest went to two other local schools. So far, it's been OK. She misses her friends, but we've wncouraged her to arrange swimming trips at the weekend and to invite people round. MSM is a lifesaver too. She is starting to make new strong friendships at secondary school, though. Her birthday is in December and she wants a bowling trim. She has chosen her 10 guests - 5 old and 5 new. It's hard - but it works out. I do think that parents have to oversee the friendships though - reminding to text so snd so, suggesting swimming and so on.

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