Getting rejected from schools

Does your DC know about the deadlines? Ours is quite oblivious to this all (we’re from a state primary and the kids just don’t talk about secondary school applications to each other) and because we are waiting for news from state schools as well as a couple of independents, our tactic is to wait until 1 March to break the news. If you have applied to state schools, then you will get SOMETHING, even if not your first choice. We have tried to stay upbeat about all the choices so that it doesn’t come as too much of a disappointment. We’re also hoping that there might be movement on waitlists by then.

If that’s not an option I think really important to reward your DC for their efforts, they can only do their best. In the end I have to keep reminding myself that it’s the parents’ encouragement, love and support that counts more than any school...

Good luck.

It means that the school isn’t the right one for him. Schools have different teaching methods and cultures - they know that some Kids just won’t thrive there. You say he’s bright - I’m sure he is - and schools don’t always pick the brightest or brainiest, but those who will flourish there.

Good luck.

Honestly I would lie as much as possible to spare his feelings. Rejection is horrible and nothing positive about it, especially at such a young age

If you haven’t already rewarded him then do so before the results come out. That way it’s very clear that you are proud of all his hard work and not which schools he has or hasn’t got an offer from.

We gave my daughter my old iPhone on the morning she sat the 11+ grammar test. She wasn’t expecting it and she went into that exam as high as a kite. It took all the pressure off her as she knew she had just needed to do her best.

Then it’s a life lesson. We don’t always get what we want no matter how hard we work. Learning how to deal with rejection is part of life. It’s not about failing, it’s that those schools weren’t right for him.

I would say he got onto the waiting list and make a big deal about what an amazing achievement that is given that more kids applied than ever, so he feels like he achieved something.

The letter will say all kinds of nice things even if it’s a rejection. Read him those bits and just be honest and say he did really well but there were limited places and the school can’t give one to everyone. And have some lovely cakes or treats ready. Reassure him that there will be a great school place for him (so important to say this whatever you actually feel - the kids need to know they don’t need to worry and you as the parent have it in hand). And if you can have some activities planned for the day or weekend (tricky at mo) then it will help take his mind off it. Avoid too much texting friends etc if others are in the same place. Actually not being at school at moment should help a bit with managing to avoid playground chatter which sometimes doesn’t help.

Hope tomorrow goes well, whatever the news.