Can anyone recommend a fantastic school mainstream or special, for an autistic child with a normal IQ?

Sending strength and luck in finding the right place.

My ds1 has ASD and dyslexia, IQ normal (very high scores some domains and very low in others), anxious and sensitive. He is 9. We are struggling to find a senior school for him that caters for his needs (empathy, teachers knowing he has ASD, minor adjustments mainly) but has a mainstream curriculum with interesting subject choices and extracurricular offerings. State has not worked for us and I don't think will for senior school - we are sorted til year 9- so looking at independent schools primarily.

Acland Burghley in Camden is a mixed sex, although boy heavy, comprehensive with an Autism base. You’d have to see it to see if it would suit your child though. I’ve heard it’s been amazing for some children who have autism but really not suitable for others. Again, expensive “catchment”.

As an autistic adult (female), I was hugely impressed with Limpsfield Grange, when I saw their students and headteacher give a presentation at the NAS Women and Girls Conference. I was impressed by the understanding of the girls wider needs, strong encouragement, coupled with the ability to stretch the students academically.
I went through mainstream school and was mute like your daughter in Primary, with severe sensory difficulties (e.g. noise was painful/had to eat same packed lunch daily etc). Bullied severely in secondary for my 'difference' (tho I was undiagnosed back in the early 1990's ... not until 25 years later actually!), which triggered ongoing MH difficulties. I was always very bright, yet never 'fitted in', even in the most academically able groups, due to my social difficulties.
I wished there had been a setting like this, as the awareness of my 'difference' ... which can so often be viewed as 'negative' or even neutrally as a perceived 'otherness' ... was so positively viewed by the Limpfield students and I envied the confidence their school gave them to simply be themselves.

@notthemum are you thinking of Addington in Woodley? Its an utterly fantastic school. As is The Avenue. I've heard a lot of good things about Priors Court as well, which I think is Basingstoke area.

Settlebeck School in Sedburgh (Cumbria) is a state school with a great reputation for children with autism. It has an autism unit attached to a mainstream school (which means that a high percentage of the main school are also autistic as they know staff will be understanding).

Also in South Lakeland, Cartmel Priory School is a small state secondary with a really strong pastoral ethos and a great SENCO.

I’d second limpsfield grange.

Peterhouse school in Southport. Not LA but all the pupils are funded by LA. Probably too far away for you, but it is amazing. Over the last few years there are far more pupils without learning difficulties. Some experience of selective mutism too. Feel free to message me.

Wokingham, but can't remember the name , sorry.
The Avenue school. Tilehurst near Reading, All special needs catered for, absolutely Bloody amazing school. Over subscribed but my God it's worth the fight to get in.
Good luck.

This is our local (state) school provision for children with ASD and "normal" IQ

www.combertonvc.org/about-us/SEND/cabin

I really do truly hope you get the outcome you all want.
You sound like an utterly fantastic parent.
Your child is so lucky to have someone like you to be such a loud voice for them.

For “how to get the school you want” the charities IPSEA and SOSSEN are excellent for independent unbiased legal support. Very knowledge, charming and stylish staff, so I’m told.

I feel like this thread has lifted a weight off your shoulders OP, and that's so lovely to see

I live in Cambridgeshire. A few schools have an Autism.hub which supports pupils like your daughter. Our local school, Comberton Village College, has brilliant provision for this cohort.

Thank you reefedsail. I do not claim to be a subject expert. But as a family we have an Autistic child at Fairmead. And their teaching is superb. And our child has blossomed. I am sure there are other mumsnetters who can also suggest excellent schools for A.

@LadyWhistledownthe1st haha imagine that!
Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. Often feel like I’m just slowly pushing a huge wall back only for it to slide back into place again.

@LadyWhistledownthe1st are you trying to say that the LA might lie? Surely not!

Tell them to consult there. If that is your parental choice, they can meet needs and offer a place, the LA must name it so long as the placement isn’t “incompatible with the effective education of others” or represents “inefficient use of public funds.”

Sorry, my comment was to @lydia2021

@Redbrickwall Fairmead is for children with learning difficulties. They would not accept a child working at age related expectations.

In that area children at or close to age related expectations are catered for in the autism bases.

Not so good with schools recommendations but if you have an echp and reports that state need small class sizes etc you can get MS independent funded by LA.

Have you looked at costs of a private speech report as part of the process as this would likely be a good investment. And as private schools are usually all ages it maybe that she could start a school now that she can stay at until 16/18 which could be a massive benefit to her to avoid the anxiety of changing in year 7.

@Bigbigbirfday thank you!! I wonder if the LA have purposely misled me as they felt it might put me off? Thank you for telling ne

@SENDeducation oh that’s brilliant, thank you so much for that!

Independent specialist Alderwasley Hall

LadyWhistledown your LA must not allow you to contribute to the provision in section F and the placement named in section I.

@LadyWhistledownthe1st You don't have to contribute towards the fees of The Robert Ogden School - it is a s41 approved independent school. If named on an EHCP, the LA is responsible for the fees.