@SouthLondonMommy Now that you mention you have the comfortable means to afford private then then I would say 100% free up the state school place at the outstanding state for one of many disadvantaged children for who deserve the chance of a decent education and cannot ever afford the privilege of a private school. It is unfair that children cannot even get a place at their own local schools because of gentrification in oversubscribed areas. So many knock on effects to a single school place being taken away from a less fortunate family.
I ought to have said this initially. I know it is a controversial subject matter in itself and also considered unfair by many that state school places at the outstanding schools get taken up by those who can otherwise afford private. I don’t think it is morally right and would urge you / anyone should they take up such a place at a state school, then please ensure you contribute generously and continuously - personal funds, skills and time. I can’t tell you how proud that will make your child too.
Re: you asking is worth paying to avoid stress later. I would say there really is no way of knowing as there may be none. So subjective and dependent on situation at the time. This year has been unlike any other due to Covid and so many changes around the process to contend with.
As for the 11+ stress for us, DD has not shown any signs of nerves or anxiety around any of it, other than natural resistance to do more work than necessary at times. She has loved every interview and exam and breezed into it all. She would have happily done more she said. It is also her who wanted the opportunity and to be able to go to a school where she can learn more, have varied facilities etc. I think she is just up for a different experience or else has seen it like an experiment?! To be honest how we pay for it is another thing.