Year 7 boy - unorganised, dragging out homework - constant help and nagging

No TV to homework is done. A visual tick list or time table in his room?
I think it sounds wuite normal fro an 11 year old and don,t necesserily think it would be adhd on its own.

Your son is very similar with my ADHD son. I am taking parental consultation and was told that he need support from us because his brain has just different structure from ours and his organisation skill is a couple of years behind than his peers whereas his maths might be a couple of years ahead.
He is year 7 at a private school and all his homework is managed by MS Teams. I downloaded the app by his tutor's suggestion and check the latest homework with him everyday after school.
I will recommend to make a list and work together with him. After I accept the fact that he needs support, I feel much better and surprisingly he started showing improvement.

My son is like that, he's 10 and will be going to grammar school in September. Very worrying as he's always forgetting the thread of things he has to do, it takes forever to squeeze a piece of homework out of him and he's very forgetful. He's almost gone to school in bright orange crocs several times because he just absent mindedly puts on the first shoes he sees....
His big brother was recently diagnosed with inattentive adhd and although he has done brilliantly (he did a doctorate at Oxford and is now doing a post doc at Cambridge) it affects his life and the medication is now very helpful. We're in the process of a private diagnosis for his little brother as I believe it can run in families. Definitely worth looking into.

My DS was exactly the same in Yeqr 7. He is also very clever and lets say unmotivated rather than lazy. He got slightly better each year. Home school was an absolute nightmare. He's now in Yr 10 and so much better.

School didn't help at first by having a stupid thing where HW was ok if it was in in the next 24 hours! Once they got rid of this he definitely improved.

I completely agree with the posters who have said leave him to get into trouble! Also try and encourage him to be proud of his work. And see if you can get some rewards in there too. It's no good for anyone to have to be constantly nagging.

In the end I think the thing that worked best was Covid! We were too distracted to nag at him so he got a few detentions. Also he saw how this years pupils got their GCSEs predicted based on their work and decided he better actually put in some effort!

My DD is the complete opposite. School books pristine. Will disappear off to her bedroom and do her HW.

I'm going to see if I can find any online ADHD resources because the way he is in some of his online classes has actually got me thinking.

My DS also in Y7 is the same. Watching with interest!

I wouldn’t jump to ADHD

He’s 11. He’s disorganised. He has a loving supportive and involved mum.

These three facts are why he’s like this I reckon. You can only change the second!

OP - I’ve been there.

Routine routine routine
Prep prep prep

White board with morning routine.
List by front door with what he needs to take to school
Home, snack, half hour chill (no screen), homework and then screen

What his bedtime? I suggest in bed by 8.30 and then read / Music until 9 absolute latest.

Those of you with inattentive ADHD children when did you notice it? I can't tell if my DS is just being a young child, but he doesn't do anything he's asked to. I literally have to demand it, constantly remind him. It's so draining getting to school, but that could be normal as I don't know he's my oldest and my younger child is a baby. He's not hyper or naughty, he's a kind sensitive boy, but he can't get dressed for example. He can physically do the individual items but he might take him 3 hours. I think a visual timetable might help him too.

Also meant to add I was drawn to your post after reading your use of ‘lazy’ when describing how your ds appears. You can recognise he is able and CAN do tasks but he can’t follow through with execution regularly. That is the red flag.

The thing is that you don’t “have” to. You need to stop being a safety net. Agree what he will do and when. Ensure he has a list to consult and his timetable somewhere obvious.
Then step back.

I have a Y7, I gave him a lot of support to begin with as he struggles a bit with organisation. However I quickly figured out, the more I stepped back, the better organised he was. Also I was beginning to feel like it was me that had the homework!

We have a loose timetable (homework between 5pm - 6pm) but other than that he prioritises his own workload and he needs to motivate himself to do it.

You just described my 11yo ADHD (inattentive) son. If your ds is well intentioned but unable to grasp the basics of self care and organisation it is worth seeking professional advice.

We hit a point were it was apparent DS was simply unable to manage the most routine things. It caused angst and friction within the family. A constant negative stream of feelings in DS who didn't want to be that way. Meds were a life changer for everyone in the family. My DS is also extremely bright/high achiever/very polite and well liked by teachers. None of us really thought it could be ADHD. When there isn't a behavioural component of ADHD (impulsive/hyper), but is mostly inattentive, the presentation is confusing.

Hope it helps! I do sympathise!

Whiteboard in the kitchen with everything that needs to be done that week. I help them make sure everything is on there but after that it's up to them. Both are fairly organised kids though anyway so not sure whether this would work, I might have just got lucky.

Secondary teacher here. I also own a Year 7 boy. All this is very common in Year 7 boys.

For me, packing the bag is non negotiable. Timetable somewhere visible. For homework, let him get in trouble. Please! It gives him a much better chance of developing the independence he really needs to succeed in KS4. Once the detentions and negative points and phone calls from teachers start coming in, then I'd take the phone until it's done every night for a set period. Then see if he can do it on his own. Rinse and repeat. It might be worth emailing his form tutor too to ask if teachers can be made aware that this is what's going on.

It's very late for an 11-year old to be doing homework. He should be sleeping.

Perhaps he's tired and therefore disorganised?

But at the moment there are no consequences. Just you being fed up!
Mine used to have to get ready before breakfast! That way they couldn’t drag their feet!
Your whole evening taken up by reminding him? That’s just daft.

He needs lists. A big whiteboard in his bedroom with the schedule on and he has to tick each item off as he does it.
A drink and snack when he gets in from school then phone is taken away and the schedule begins.
I have a year 7 boy, we literally couldn’t manage without a schedule.

Yep sounds like the executive functioning aspect of ADHD. DS (12) has struggled with organising himself and getting motivated for years and is severely demand avoidant. Went down the private assessment route in Feb this year when he was in Year 7 and he was diagnosed with ADHD. Now on meds and he’s like a different child!

I'm going to say it sounds like adhd too. There are loads of online tests you can do to see if it's likely.