WWYD? derogatory comment from teacher

moshmoshi · 2020-12-13T23:53:59+00:00

Y8 DC told me that one of the teachers made a derogatory comment towards another child who wouldn’t stop talking. It is the kind of comment that was common when I was in school in the 80s but is now rightly seen as disablist. My DC was quite shocked at the comment as was older DC. It is possible that he misinterpreted the comment but not likely. I want to email school but as it is not my DC the comment was directed at would I be just seen as interfering?

Nellle · 17/12/2020 21:30

This isn't a regional thing. Sadly, it reflects the depressingly low expectations you clearly have of teachers.

That head of year will have to raise it with the teacher. Both will know she meant "Are you above the rules?" but the conversation will leave a bitter taste nonetheless and it will always be remembered just what Student X's mum thinks of teachers.

Nice conversation for the last day of term too 🙄

MyGazeboisLeaking · 17/12/2020 20:15

@moshmoshi

Thanks for all the opinions, it seems to be a regional thing. I mentioned it to a couple of local teacher friends (without namiing the teacher/school) they were quite shocked and thought I shoul raise it with the teacher/school in the way a pp mentioned 'You may not be aware...' type email.

Nether friend thought I was overreacting and thought either the teacher must be very unaware as to how it would come across or meant it in a derogatory way.

I emailed the school to mention it but have hopefully phrased it as 'maybe this teacher needs to be made aware' rather than a complaint. My DC was very concerned that the teacher concerned would be angry at him, in his mind she can be very angry, not sure how true this is, so I emailed the head of year instead.

I'm sure they will be really pleased to get your email on the last working day before Christmas, when they have pandemic restrictions, isolations and January plans to deal with.

MyGazeboisLeaking · 17/12/2020 20:11

@notanotherlockdownsurely

I live in the SE OP and ' are you special' would clearly mean ' do you have special needs' It's nasty and disablist However I'm not sure in this situation what I'd do

I also live in the South East, and would think it meant 'are you above the rules' .

OP - I think you have got yourself involved in something you have no definitive knowledge of. Wrong call.

MissEliza · 17/12/2020 20:03

@hedgehogger1

Coz teachers don't have enough shit to deal with right now. Well done OP

Well said.

unmarkedbythat · 17/12/2020 19:55

A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not.

I am aghast that anyone would seriously make this argument. Yes, some adults would say this and it is ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

hedgehogger1 · 17/12/2020 19:54

Coz teachers don't have enough shit to deal with right now. Well done OP

MissEliza · 17/12/2020 19:50

I live in the SE and would understand 'are you special' in this context to mean do you think you are above the rules.

notanotherlockdownsurely · 17/12/2020 19:48

I live in the SE OP and ' are you special' would clearly mean ' do you have special needs'
It's nasty and disablist
However I'm not sure in this situation what I'd do

FestiveChristmasLights · 17/12/2020 19:43

@cansu

You have taken something your ds overheard, misconstrued it and made a complaint essentially alleging that the teacher is making a derogatory comment about people with special needs. This is based on your ds ideas about the word 'special' and his opinion of a teacher he dislikes. I am completely speechless. It isn't a regional thing. It is the difference between a teen and an adult. A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not. You are right by the way, the teacher will think that both you and your child are utterly ridiculous! She won't say a word to him, but she won't go out of her way for you or your child in the future.

Agreed and it won’t just be the teacher who will think that, but all of the teachers and the head.

It also says something about you and your son that it’s your immediate thought upon hearing certain words.

ChessIsASport · 17/12/2020 19:34

I can’t believe you emailed the school about this!

TheLadyOfShallnott · 17/12/2020 19:31

😶

cansu · 17/12/2020 19:28

You have taken something your ds overheard, misconstrued it and made a complaint essentially alleging that the teacher is making a derogatory comment about people with special needs. This is based on your ds ideas about the word 'special' and his opinion of a teacher he dislikes. I am completely speechless. It isn't a regional thing. It is the difference between a teen and an adult. A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not. You are right by the way, the teacher will think that both you and your child are utterly ridiculous! She won't say a word to him, but she won't go out of her way for you or your child in the future.

cansu · 17/12/2020 19:20

A teen might use the word special in a derogatory way. For me and for most adults, it would mean something quite different. Are you special would mean exactly that - ie do you think that you are above the rules?

Original poster

moshmoshi · 17/12/2020 19:12

Thanks for all the opinions, it seems to be a regional thing. I mentioned it to a couple of local teacher friends (without namiing the teacher/school) they were quite shocked and thought I shoul raise it with the teacher/school in the way a pp mentioned 'You may not be aware...' type email.

Nether friend thought I was overreacting and thought either the teacher must be very unaware as to how it would come across or meant it in a derogatory way.

I emailed the school to mention it but have hopefully phrased it as 'maybe this teacher needs to be made aware' rather than a complaint. My DC was very concerned that the teacher concerned would be angry at him, in his mind she can be very angry, not sure how true this is, so I emailed the head of year instead.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 16/12/2020 17:22

“Special” is certainly teen speak here for SN but for me it means better than everyone else. It’s hard to tell not being there but I can see an adult using it in a very different context to a school child

BefuddledPerson · 14/12/2020 20:12

@Ginfordinner

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

I find it amazing that you find it amazing, since clearly it isn't "so well known" as so many posters have never heard of it as a disablist insult, and neither has the teacher by the sound of it.

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 20:08

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

I find it amazing that you find it amazing, since clearly it isn't "so well known" as so many posters have never heard of it as a disablist insult, and neither has the teacher by the sound of it.

BefuddledPerson · 14/12/2020 19:14

@Moondust001

I've never heard anyone use the phrase in the way that you describe, as a disabilist insult. I have heard teachers described as mean. It usually suggests said teacher entices the rules, expects good behaviour, and unreasonably thinks that the classroom is a place to study and learn.

I've never heard anyone use the phrase in the way that you describe, as a disabilist insult.

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

blue25 · 14/12/2020 17:47

Oh just keep your nose out. Your child has probably misheard. Teachers/ schools have enough on their plate at the moment!

BalloonSlayer · 14/12/2020 17:34

@Ginfordinner

and it's entirely possible that the teacher has not come across this use of "special"

TBH neither have I.

If the kids use it then the teacher will be aware of it.

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 17:24

@TicTacTwo

Teenagers here say "are you special?" meaning "Are you Special Needs?" but if a teacher said it I would assume they meant it the normal adult way as teachers don't usually talk in teen slang do they?

Yes. I'm inclined to think it is teenage slang.

TicTacTwo · 14/12/2020 15:26

I'd personally be pleased that the teacher was telling chatty kids to stop talking. Why wouldn't he stop talking ? Was he discussing something important ?

TicTacTwo · 14/12/2020 15:24

Teenagers here say "are you special?" meaning "Are you Special Needs?" but if a teacher said it I would assume they meant it the normal adult way as teachers don't usually talk in teen slang do they?

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 14/12/2020 14:57

Crikey. At this rate teachers will have to be mute.

As if their job isn’t hard enough at the moment.

supportivemyarse · 14/12/2020 14:49

good grief, poor teachers.

I wouldn't email but if I did I'd be more inclined to ask what they're doing about the DC disrupting my child's education.