SW London boys, 11+ grammars and independents

@harmitag many congratulations to you and your DS. I hope he is very excited.

Congratulations @harmitag!

I have also heard that Halliford’s wait lists has moved. But not sure about any others.

Judging from comments on the girls’ thread, a significant number of schools have confirmed that they are unlikely to go to waitlist this year as they have filled all places from the initial offer round. Be interesting to see if the same is true for the boys’ indies.

@Teacakes100 Reed’s WL is moving as my son was offered a place on Tuesday

@lookhappy I'm not sure which school you have bursary for but my DS1 is at a school that is know for offering generous bursaries and part of the reason they do so according to head is to encourage a wide mix of boys from different backgrounds. His school has boys from very wealthy backgrounds as well as those on bursaries - we really love that mix, so please don't worry about him being perceived to be the 'not well off one'.
Inevitably some kids are spoiled more than others but IME this has nothing to do with wealth.
If I was offered a full bursary I would def go with the independent school.
You can't compare the two!
HTH

Well done for making a decision TW79

We did the same last year - spoke to parents, pupils and teachers!

@TW79 congratulations! Your son has done incredibly well. Out of interest for DS2 who will do his exams in 2 years, do you mind sharing the value of the academic scholarship at Hampton?

We have the same predicament between indies and Tiffins and this is what I have posted in one of my threads:

We have decided to go with Tiffins. Spoken to quite a few current and past parents and one current year 9 student. Have heard only good things. They all have nothing really to complain about. One on my DS friends mum called the school and have spoken to the deputy head and he said don't judge us by the looks of the building.

It's a personal choice and a really hard one . My DS got academic scholarship at Hampton, academic scholarship and music exhibition award at LU and St. George's and a place at KCS.

I still cannot see the delta difference between independent school and Tiffins worth at least 175K over next 7 years. I feel my DS will be happy and whatever we will save over next 7 years will only help him in the Uni.

It was a hard decision to make and I have just emailed all all the schools to decline the offers. Hope this helps.

Whitgift deadline noon tomorrow

Have any of the boys indie schools WLs started to move yet?

• the average is £43 a month

Kids do not find out who contributes to the Tiffin Education Fund. It's purely voluntary and the a stage is £43 a month.

Earning not warning

One more t thing to consider in terms of costs.

I don't know how Tiffin works in financial support for trips, etc. Independent schools tend to offer support with trips, uniforms, etc. A former colleague got everything given.

When the bursars said they take each case individually, that's what they mean. Your salary, unless you are warning around 6 figures after tax, they will see the whole picture.

Tiffin has a 1k voluntarily donation they asked to parents. It is voluntary, but I don't know if kids find out who donates or not. What I'm trying to say is that in this area the social and economical divide is unavoidable. We try to ground our child and despite the difference of our financial situation and most of his peers, he thrives and doesn't feel any less.

I would probably do a con and pro list. Take all real costs such as sports gear, uniforms, trips, etc into consideration. The number of students per classroom, etc and hopefully that will help you make your decision.

If your son really wants the independent school then I think that’s your answer. They obviously very much want him too!

I can understand your worry about the bursary but you are probably overthinking it. If it’s what your son wants then I don’t think you should give it up because of a small risk that will probably never materialise.

I think the super wealthy are at the boarding schools....

Lookhappy. It will have more co curricular and better facilities, as you say. That's what (other) people are paying for! I wouldn't say better teachers, but smaller class sizes (24/25 vs 31) so you could say teaching would be more focused on the child.

As many have said on here before, it will be nicer, not necessarily better. To me (and easy for me to say) it sounds as if you are worrying a bit unnecessarily, but understandable to turn down Tiffin. If your son wants to go to the independent, send him there. Not many have a 100% bursary!

Thanks both! It is a slightly easier commute to the independent (but there is not that much in it).

I honestly don't know if the independent offers specific things that Tiffin doesn't. It will have more football. Probably more co-curricular things. Better facilities. But is the teaching much different? I don't know the answer to that! Not being stressed about potential fees has a big appeal for me.

My son desperately wants to go to the independent, but I think that is partly because he visited it with his school and was wowed by it (whereas he has never visited Tiffin - because of COVID). I, too, feel like I'm making a decision in a slightly blind way!

Hi lookhappy, well done to your son.

Is there anything that the indie can offer that Tiffin can’t? Eg a particular sport/music provision? What is the commute like for both schools?

It’s a very difficult decision. I’m sure that the indie wouldn’t leave you in the lurch but I can understand that it would be good not to have to worry about that at all.

lookhappy. I wouldn't worry about your son being perceived as a "poor boy". There will be others on a bursary. Also, it's London/Surrey, there will be a real mix of parents. Yes, there will be super wealthy families, but also parents who need to both work to pay the fees, or some who can only afford it as family are paying . It will be more mixed than you think. If you have the opportunity, choose the school you feel he will be the happiest at. An independent school will have staff employed for pastoral care, specifically. As long as you come to terms with the fact that you may not be on 100% forever, but if your salary increases, then as another poster said, you'll be able to afford it. Bursars are not unreasonable.

To me it sounds like a great opportunity.

To clarify: they couldn't say "If one has an income of £x, you will have to pay % of the fees". They said it was much more complicated than that - and each person was individually assessed and the full picture looked at.

Thank you all. I have spoken to the bursar. The school has said it will not leave us high and dry. That I will only be expected to pay if I have the means. But they could not specify what this means (apparently it is a big equation based on all sorts of things - home owner ship etc, not just salary rises).

With this in mind, Tiffin or a top indie? Will my son always feel like the poor boy (I don't think the school is at all like that) but, inevitably, he will be around some super wealthy people. Will he feel inferior? He already has a lot to deal with. Or will an independent just be perfect - more pastoral care perhaps? New opportunities he might not otherwise get? Thank you again.

@lookhappy, as mentioned before, you would not loose the whole bursary.

Personally, make an appointment with the bursar or the Head and discuss your situation. Schools would also look and take on a pastoral responsibility for your child. I very much doubt that they will leave dry.

Before making a decision on what could happen or be best between Tiifin and an Indie, best to talk to the school, so you know for a fact your options.

Thanks @TiffinIndieChoice that is really helpful.

@lookhappy
You will not lose the bursary. You MIGHT lose a small percentage as years go on and your salary increases. However by definition you can then afford any small contribution you have to make.

You have been offered a wonderful opportunity at top Indie at very little cost (travel and lunch?).
As good as Tiffin is, I would snap their hand off ;-)