Anyone had child with ASD/asperger's at weekly boarding school?

thank you so much @FlockofSquirrels . very kind of you. we are in ayrshire so Lomond isnt too far. we will try and explore the various options over the next few months while seeing how dd does in current school

Hi @deeman77 it sounds like mainstream boarding could actually work if you can find the right school in your area. The structure of boarding can really be great and it does tend to hinge on having consistent rules for every student in a given year and for a lot of ND kids that creates needed predictability. I'm not an expert on PDA by any means but I know some kids will do better when rules/expectations are de-individualized and some struggle even more with it (because they'll be asked to do/not do more things that don't necessarily make sense for them on an individual level), so I wanted to mention it. If your DD has never had any incidents of physical aggression at school or similar settings I would carefully leave out that word when speaking with schools.

In Scotland... Lathallan School is definitely worth a look if it isn't too far - it's remote but they don't have Saturday lessons so a somewhat longer drive might be worth it. It's mainstream but intentionally looks to be a school for kids who have struggled elsewhere. I'm not sure how Lomond School is doing in recent years and I know they do IB at S6 now, but it might be worth looking around for current info. Loretto, Glenalmond and Strathallan are probably too intense/traditional and not small enough, and probably the same goes for St. Leonard's. Fettes and Dollar are massive and wouldn't be on my radar.

North of England... I mentioned Fyling Hall and it still sticks in my mind as a great one to investigate but unfortunately it would be a very long trek for weekly boarding even if you're south of Edinburgh (though as with Lathallan they don't have Saturday lessons so weekends would be Friday PM-Sunday PM). Depending on your location The Mount in York is all-girls and could actually be a feasible distance via train (please don't be scared off by the Quaker aspect - Quaker schools will feel less religious than almost any other independent with a "Christian-ethos" or similar).

Hopefully that gives you some leads to at least explore. Good luck to both you and your DD 💐

I guess our other option would be for find a small mainstream boarding school with good awareness. If we went down that route that is.

Thanks @FlockofSquirrels the aggression is rare and only ever targeted at us. General rules she seems fine with. Again targeted rules from us the avoidance picks up. She definitely benefits from structure. Likes sports. I think we are seeking the impossible. A small school where she can be during the week, get help with homework and schooling and hopefully then calmer with us on the weekends. So a school where they understand her needs but not for significant ASN needs as you mention.

Hi @deeman77 . You can download the register of independent schools in Scotland at the link below and once you've done that you can filter for schools with any boarding provision and remove any that don't offer secondary. Scotland doesn't actually have that many schools with boarding and many are for ASN more significant than I suspect you're needing, so you'll likely be able to quickly narrow down to a fairly short list to research more in-depth. Unless you're right on the border there aren't going to be many schools in North England within reach for weekly boarding, but the Independent Schools Inspectorate has an advanced search function with a map view. The one small, nurturing place that popped into my head was Fyling Hall but that is going to be a big ask distance-wise even from near the border.

That said, if demand avoidance with an anger response is a significant part of your DD's profile then I would be extremely cautious with mainstream boarding. Boarding does offer structure and routine, but it also inevitably comes with a lot of rules and requirements, many of which won't seem sensible from a teen's perspective. For some it can work if their demand avoidance is more focused on things that feel individual/targeted towards them rather than "every student must..." sort of rules and if they're in the right school, but in other cases it will likely be a disaster. And most mainstream independent boarding schools will not give any tolerance whatsoever for physical aggression towards staff or students.

www.gov.scot/publications/independent-schools-in-scotland-register/

I know this is an old post. We are in Scotland with a 13yr old daughter. ASD high functioning diagnosis. Demand avoidance and aggressive/anger demonstration. Mix of hormones and ASD probably creating more challenges. We are struggling at home with behaviour, going to school, homework, doing anything basically. Came across this thread and was curious about the weekly boarding mentioned. Not sure how to go about finding a weekly boarding option where there is support for ASD kids. Any help or advice would be appreciated

I m glad that saw this thread. My 15yo dd was diagnosed of asd and slow processing speed. She had a MH breakdown last summer and missed the entire year 10 and quite a lot of year 9. We are now looking for a full time school for her. The LA sent her profile to the closer by schools before summer but so far only one very small independent school has responded to say they can meet her needs. The school only have about 50 kids from infants to A levels. Non school uniform and very relaxed. But I m not sure if it s the right school for her. Anyone have similar experience?

in England you don't need a diagnosis to apply for an EHCP.

@sprongle1 I hadn't even thought of that. She is in the process of assessment now so if we do get a definitive ASD diagnosis, it's worth looking into. I won't lie, the cost of the school is setting our retirement plans back a few years!
She has her own room with shared bathroom which she doesn't seem to mind.

aaah - my daughter has her own room

My ASD son will be boarding weekly and it’s all single en-suite rooms these days, so he’ll get plenty of privacy.

I went as an ASD woman in a shared room and shared bathroom facilities. I couldn’t cope with the homework/prep thing all in the same room. It all felt like prison to me and I escaped daily…

@hapagirl I know Scotland is different to England but is there any SEN support you can apply to be paid for her by the LA/county if she's at a private school?

My DD had two terms out of school. We applied for an EHCP as soon as she was completely not attending (on and off refused for a year before that) and the LA have placed her weekly boarding with extra support at a small independent with tiny classes. She was hard to place as she is academically very able but was assessed as needing small classes for sensory issues, auditory processing difficulties and relative slow processing speed. We started her there before the placement was agreed and the independent EP who saw here there said it was this school or ASD specialist (which would have cost the LA at least twice as much) Its been brilliant (apart from the couple of days she didn't get in until Monday afternoon!!!).

That's great sprogle1. We were heading towards school refusal and her grades plummeted last year. And she is so able in the right environment.

Wish I had seen this thread first time it came up. My Autistic DD has been weekly boarding for a year now. It has helped a lot with transitions between home and school, though she still finds Monday morning really hard and won't go Sunday evening instead. Homework pretty much all done in school has helped a lot. There'll be ups and downs - sometimes we felt helpless and wonder if we did the right thing but overall its been very good for her. From full school refusal to high attendance and achieving academically as well!

I know this is an old thread but it's really interesting for me. I have a DD with suspected ASD (currently being assessed by CAMHS). She had a complete MH breakdown last year when schools went back - her school is the local high school with 1400 people. This year (we're in Scotland so schools already back), I have moved her to a small boarding school for weekly boarding. She has spent the first week there. To be honest, my heart is in my throat all the time having her away from me but she seems happy. The experiences in this thread have made me feel better. I feel like I have let her down somehow, which is ridiculous because I took her out of a horrible situation and placed her in a situation which (hopefully) will be better. CAMHS are worried that she will see boarding as a rejection of her but I have told her time and time again that she can come home whenever she wants. The school have the option of day and flexie boarding (1-4 nights). She chose the weekly board option. I hope you found something to work out for you OP!

I would also check the school was prepared to be flexible with the amount of GCSE's he would have to do. DD really benefits from doing one less subject than normal, and having some free periods in her weekly timetable. She struggles with essays, so is not doing a humanity or Eng Lit.

We managed to find a school that only has around 120 pupils in yrs 7-13.

I think 500 is perfect, small enough to be personal and not overwhelming but big enough to have range of subjects, facilities and resources.

Hi OP.
My dd is ASD (high functioning) and weekly boards. She also couldn't manage the move between home and school, and also can't o schoolwork at home.
Weekly boarding has changed her life - and ours too! She is happy at school, does all the work, even outside of set prep times if necessary. Sde shares a room with 2 others, and manages the routines well. Although her area is messy and she loses things, her friends all help her. She has made some genuine friends in the boarding house, and they all tolerate each other fantastically well. As a result of her being settled at school, she is happier and calmer at home, and we know we can lay off the homework nagging at the weekend as she has plenty of time to go back a bit earlier on Sunday night and do it then at school. It really has worked very well for us. Tbh I didn't expect it to, but it's def the answer for us. Try it and see what happens. Good luck.
Oh - I would recommend finding the smallest school for him too. I also think that smaller is better for ASD pupils.

By Year 9, you should expect there to be homework at the weekends too, and from Year 10 on it can be a significant amount, so don’t look at boarding school as a way of avoiding the school-work-at-home thing.

Mine managed to do a minimum of sport and games as long as they were doing some form of activity or interest

Not ASD but children with a range of SpLDs and MH issues. We were fortunate to have a school close by (20 mins). The structure and routine suited as you say as did doing work at school with tutors on hand to help with prep. Pastoral care and understanding were excellent. But being close they could start as day and board when they knew they were comfortable or move between day, weekly and flexi boarding as it suited at the time. Or stay for prep and then come home. Is there a suitable school within range.