Stigma of SEN during 11+ in London

It’s a tough one. Unfortunately because your son is taking medication there is no choice but to reveal his condition to school. My oldest also had a similar problem, so I was honest with schools when he did 10+ and despite doing well in the exams he did not get offers. Next year I tried for different (more competitive) schools but did not declare his condition and he got offers from all schools he applied to. He is doing well, and I am very happy with my decision.

Hi we’ve just gone through the 11+ last year. DD is ADD. I asked the Ed Psych to put all her strengths on the first page of the report as they don’t read all 20 pages of each one they get! She got into all schools except one. Good luck !

In fairness, it was the head SENCO at an all girls school who said 'we once had a girl with that diagnosis and it didn't go well, so I am not sure we are the right school for your daughter'. It was very revealing that a SENCO believed that all children on the spectrum have identical struggles- we didn't disagree, as it spoke volumes about her level of expertise.

As it was, our daughter got offers at much more competitive, academic, progressive schools, so I felt it was a lucky escape. What I would say is that I was pleasantly surprised at how accommodating some very competitive schools were and I wouldn't make any negative assumptions in advance.

For what it's worth, I've frequently heard that Latymer Upper School and Dulwich College are excellent at supporting neuro diverse kids (this is not from first hand experience as we only applied to girl's schools).

Good luck

Really interesting perspectives here. @bashstreetkids Would you mind sharing what schools you felt were/were not welcoming to neurodiverse children?

I would echo what other posters have said. My DD went through the London 11+ last year and I was so worried that she would be judged unfavourably for her ADD and High Functioning ASD diagnosis (alongside worrying about how she'd deal with the stress or manage to maintain focus during the assessment process). There was only one school which actively discouraged our application and I took the view that it is better we know now that the SEN department were not well briefed or welcoming. Some others were more enlightened and well informed than others.

Nearly every school we applied to was supportive, keen to have a very open and honest conversation with us, which meant when she started in September, we felt that the school were well prepared and working in partnership with us to settle her in. She didn't have to hide who she is and has been allocated members of staff to help her make the transition.

I feel for you because I had the chance to track down key staff and ask some very direct questions, this is obviously harder with online open days. This was invaluable in helping us make decisions about where would suit her best. She ended up doing really well in the exams (despite all my fears and sleepless nights) and had several excellent options to chose from.

Good luck- this process is so stressful, especially when your child has additional needs.

OP, when we were looking for senior schools for DS we made sure we were very open about the fact he had adhd. Those who seemed po faced we struck off our list straightaway. I made sure before submitting an application I asked if they head a head of SENCO and arranged a meeting with them. The meetings were quite revealing and enabled us to shortlist a range of very good, not overly selective but with very good pastoral care for him. He has flourished at his school and this yr got fantastic GCSE results. So yes, some discriminate, usually the very popular very, very selective schools but there are other good ones were he will thrive.

One of the things you must come to terms with is that your ds will not thrive in perhaps, the top-flight school you've always had in mind. the reason why the dc in those schools do well is precisely because they need very little hand-holding, and are neurotypical. Your ds will thrive and exceed your expectations in a much kinder school. But it took a long while before we (dh in particular) could accept this. Don't hide his condition, it will expose itself eventually anyway and you'll constantly be in a state of anxiety.

My son has an Ed psyche and we are currently going through the 11+ in SW London. We have gone for gently selective schools that seem to have good SEN but will help him fulfil his potential.
I have to agree with PP , that any school that discriminates is not a school I want my son to go to anyway!

Had in general positive response from schools last autumn with ADD. With ADD you can get 10% extra time if it's stated in the report that your DS needs it. You do need to talk to sencos before applying as you can gauge how receptive they are. There were a couple of schools that were very negative. Better to be up front and honest.

Usually people submitting ed pysch reports will be doing so in order to access extra time or other exam arrangements

If a school discriminates against SEN then perhaps it's not the school you want your child to attend?