GCSE Summer 2020 - Thread 11 Carry on Corona Cohort - Starting New Terms and Settings

Well that didn't go as planned. School sent parents a video to watch on how to help students in 6th form etc. I tried to talk to DD about it - but she shut down completly and instead of me backing away and waiting for another time to chat, I pushed it and DD ended up basically telling me to back off, how could I help her as I didn't even do A levels etc and I'm controlling and should just leave her alone.
Got to admit she hurt me. She hasn't been like that for a few years. Had a lovely time together during lockdown. She basically doesn't want me in her room (used to ask me in to chat) but I hadn't read the signs that she doesn't want that now. I guess it's because she is back with her friends to chat to at school. I do understand where she is coming from but wow she was venomous. Never seen her like that. She said if that was what it took to get rid of me so be it :-(

None of mine have ever got into Harry Potter - not even ds2 who is the real bookworm of the three - and it’s not for the want of me trying! Feels like a bit of a parental failure. The How to Train your Dragon series (which older two loved) was about as far as we got.

@MirandaWest your DS sounds a lot more communicative than mine!! All I get as feedback is “yeah, it’s good.” . No more forthcoming than that!

Thanks for the suggestions for cutting down the amount taken to school. All make total sense to me but DS not keen... I think he is similar to your DD @AnneOfCleavage and wants the security of all his paperwork!

The self isolation ends after school tomorrow and he will be going round to see his girlfriend as soon as he can

DS seems to be actively enjoying 6th form, especially RE (which is the most interesting for us all to discuss over dinner ).

I was called on to help him with some maths yesterday - I did do a level maths and further maths but it was over 25 years ago My mum and dad were maths teachers and still mark A level exam papers so I may get them to join in at some point.

Geography is interesting to hear about - is even longer since I studied that!

He’s been having zoom lessons this week as year 12 and year 13 are isolating; in one of his geography lessons I was making some lunch, he said something to me and his teacher asked what was distracting him . He said he was explaining what they were learning to me

Aw thanks you lot. As a mum we do take the strain as well when our D.C. are suffering don't we. So sad that lots of others are experiencing it too and it's not isolated to just girls DD is dreading this girls party sleepover on Saturday as she says the constant giggling and whispering is doing her head in when they have study periods and will be so much worse at the party.

Re the heavy bags and so many books I was tempted to get a trolley suitcase for DD but resisted as no way would she use that She has a 40 min walk to school and I worry for her posture as she brings folders for each subject too. Tried to convince her with a plastic file envelope but she's worried she may forget something important - gah!

She's only just got into Harry Potter and watched all the movies in a week, in fact we all did and enjoyed them especially the last one. She's not read the books as not a big reader. She's reading the stranger things one at the moment and has been for a while - like a chapter a night. She's not like DH and me who gobble books in a few days.

OK, luckily our family are all in the same place on that one, but agree that we have a lovely group and don't want to de-rail it!

Yes, but let's not talk about it in here!

@ChristopherTracy is "the JKR thing" the gay/trans/racist stuff?

Mine is almost at book burning stage due to the JKR thing. Its a constant bone of contention between us.

DH and I took DS1 to start university a few weeks ago and his GF came too. On the way back she asked if we could listen to an HP audio book - he is at St Andrews and we are in the SW so it was a good long journey and we managed to get a third of the way through the Order of the Phoenix. The GF is 19, it keeps going!

About 3 years ago she was happy to throw out her wand in a clear out. Now so happy that I ignored her and kept it

Possibly @ealingwestmum although I'm not sure they ever went away! Dd says her best friend is reading them all again and they watched one of the films at a sleepover recently. We went to Alnwick Castle where some of the scenes were filmed in the summer and dd was posting photos to her snapchat story, so some of her other friends must have been interested too!

On a change of note (prompted by *Monkey’s son coping mechanisms to football), is there a resurgence of Harry Potter? I know the book and film series crosses all age boundaries, but DD is found regularly under the duvet watching them. Again and again, as a comfort blanket for every occasion. It brings her stress levels down she says...

@FlyingPandas DD has exercise books with pages that have holes and also tear out. So she takes in those books, and then transfers the pages into the ring binders at home.

How complex! Ds had friendship issues - well bullying really - in years 3 and 4, so we home educated him for years 5 and 6. He then had some short lived issues with a particular boy (who’s now his best friend) in year 7, which seemed to be to do with how to take banter - ds was taking it very seriously/personally. I think he’s learned to make fun of himself which has helped? Dd has never really had any issues, but she’s a very empathic, people person and she just manages to get on with everyone. School isn’t an easy environment though for lots of people.

Dd is also struggling with a heavy bag (and has to have a large shoulder bag instead of a practical backpack). She also tries to take all her work for the day in one folder. She’s also started taking photos of the relevant pages in her textbooks so she can leave them at home.

Sorry to hear about friendship issues.
I can report they are not exclusive to girls - DS's friendship group had a massive falling out and split off into various factions over the summer where you needed a spreadsheet to work out who was talking to who under which conditions. I do think it was at least partly exacerbated by lockdown - if they'd been seeing each other in school and had a more "normal" life, they would probably have just got on with things (DS went out for lunch yesterday with a boy I swear he was not talking to any more, so the situation is clearly still fluid).

FlyingPandas, DD has a system similar to Christopher’s - she takes in one ring binder as a “day file”, with dividers for each subject.
When a topic is finished, she moves it from the day file to a permanent home file for that subject.

@FlyingPandas DS just takes one seethru envelope folder with the work he has done for all subjects and then puts any work done that day in it and then sorts it into the right folders when he gets home iyswim.

I dont think I have explained that very well.

Absolutely Monkey; it may well be. Context is also key, one of which I don’t see, so I play role of devil’s advocate. My own observance is that the joiner is a little competitive based on a series of comments, but not actually malicious. And I guess as and when and if she crosses the line, DD will call her out. Hopefully in a discreet manner. I also think this age is driven by their own POV (and sensitivities) Just because they wouldn’t phrase a comment like so, doesn’t mean others have to articulate like they would

Fine rope I tread like many of us I’m sure!

@ealingwestmum it may be that the joiner is trying to be supportive by showing she has noticed that your DD is tired after early start? Communication is so complex.

I think boys and girls are mean in different ways, DS had a miserable time from Y3 to Y6 because he was not into football and was therefore ignored by most of the popular boys and ended up reading at breaks (thank goodness for Harry Potter!) or spending his time with the children who did not fit in. I think it was subconscious from the boys, whereas girls often know they are doing it.

Hope your DD gets through it OK @AnneOfCleavage

Sorry to hear of all the friendship troubles. I must admit I only have boys so have never had to deal with girl friendships - boys are no angels certainly but there does seem to be a particularly sophisticated toxic nastiness to the ways some girls interact! Your poor DDs

Practical question : is anyone else’s DC struggling with carting work stuff to and from 6th form? DS is finding it quite tough, partly because he has a long walk, and partly I think because he needs to bring in a ring binder per subject (rather than the soft exercise books he used at school) as well as textbooks, and the hard A4 covers are digging into his back, despite the fact he’s got a good quality padded backpack etc. I think I’m going to have to try and investigate some different options for ring binders to see if I can find any with softer covers!

Don’t you just love girls? Though I don’t think it is exclusive...there are a handful of boys at DD’s school that can give out too.

Latest challenge here is a new joiner has decided DD is her ‘target’, even though DD spent summer helping her to engage with friends in advance of her starting. Will daily come out with lines like ‘wow ealing, you look destroyed. In a good way mind’. What does that even mean? Other than knowing the poor kid wakes up at 04.45 most mornings to train. She says the comments are subtle but regular, but others are beginning to notice.

to all those dealing with mean kids.

Sorry to hear about all the friendship drama You’d think they’d have grown out of it by now. Having said that my sister was bullied at university and had a miserable time. Some girls/women are just nasty.

Year groups are dropping in both my kids’ schools. Years 7 and 11 now self-isolating in ds school and year 10 in DD’s. I really hope dd in particular can get through to half term but I’m not hopeful.

@pasanda that college sounds awful! I hope your dd doesn’t get moved to the second week. And hope ds enjoys uni despite low expectations