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Original poster

Secondary School

28 replies

Horsesforcourses23 · 16/07/2020 10:49

Hiya,

I think I am in the right place for posting but apologies if not. I am after some general opinions please.

I have no children but my nephew has come to live with me on a permanent basis. (There is a whole long back story to this, which I won't get into but and he has suffered some trauma which is relevant).

In the shortest way possible, all of his friends are going to go to 1 high school, which 1) I am not in the catchment area and 2) The only way he could logically get there is 2 public buses.

Ok, so 1 - I am not in the catchment area but because of what has gone on, I have been advised that he would be entitled to go to that high school this would would negate any additional anxiety and keep him close with the solid friend group he has already made.

However I am really not sure if I should let him go to school on 2 buses. I don't know if I am overly worried, or just being protective or is 2 buses completely reasonable - for reference travel time would be about an hour.

The other option is to put him in a high school near me. He is not really shy (he can be a little bit) but I am quite confident he would make new friends, who would live closer to where he lives etc. The downside to that is I am not in the best of area's and non of the schools are particularly strong either.

In addition he does struggle academically.

So I am just after general opinions or thoughts really?

Thanks for any responses.

OP posts:
JamesArthursEyelashes · 16/07/2020 12:08

Yes, that sound difficult. Lots of kids do go on a couple of buses though and he will get used to it. It’s definitely not irresponsibly in my opinion, (and I’m quite an overprotective mum. 😬) as long as he doesn’t have any special needs. He’ll soon be a teen and using buses a lot, although I can see your concern for year 7.

Have another chat with him and make sure he fully understands the travel involved as well as the time and presumably having to get up earlier. If the reason that he wants to go there is purely based on friends then my experience with my children is that within a few months they make new friends. By year 8 my children didn’t go around with any of their friends from primary school.

If it was me and he really wanted to go to the one further away with his friends, then I’d let him. If it’s only a slight preference and you think he could be talked into the one that’s closer, then I would encourage him to go there. Tell him the advantages, less travel, he’ll meet new friends and is likely to live nearer them so he will be able to see them easier outside of school etc.

Good luck, it sounds like he’s lucky to have an aunt that’s putting a lot of thought into doing the best for him after what sounds like some difficult times.

Original poster
Horsesforcourses23 · 16/07/2020 11:01

He say's he doesn't mind but would rather go where his friends are going, and I am totally 100% on board to do what is best for him.

It's just I am not sure if 2 buses is the responsible thing to do, but like I have said not sure if I am just being over protective and this is a completely fine and acceptable thing to do and other people would send their kids on two buses. Does that make sense?

Or do I just accept if he really wants to go to that high school then that's my only option?

OP posts:
JamesArthursEyelashes · 16/07/2020 10:52

Does your nephew have a preference? It sounds like he’s been through a lot so if possible I’d let him take a big part in the decision.

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