I think I chose the wrong secondary school for my son

It's important to remember that his group of friends will probably all be split up into different forms, sets, my son;t school eveb splits th eyear group into two and the two halves never meet!

My son went to the high school next door to his junior school but it was 7 miles from our house. The while think was a disaster and he moved in year 9 to a school where he knew no-one apart from a couple of 6th formers who attended the same theatre group. Two years later and he made a lovely group of friends.

I totally understand the anxiety.

My dd started Secondary School knowing no-one.

I won't lie and say she cane home in day one saying she'd made hundreds of friends and everything was rosy......but over time she did make friends. Good friends that are more 'suited' to her than I believe any in her primary school were. She's now in Y10 and to go into Y11.

My ds is in Y8. He started the same Secondary School as dd but knew 2 others. He doesn't really speak to them much now. DS found it quicker to make new friends than dd. It seemed simpler for him somehow.

I still keep in loose contact with old primary school parents. In my experience, within the first year of Y7 old primary friendship groups have either broken down completely or expanded and morphed do much it's barely recognisable.

I say hold you nerve. I was sooooo scared inside but never showed it them. I just encouraged them to join in clubs and get involved as much as they could. It can be hard, but for us it worked out well.

Good luck.

I went to a grammar school that only 1 other person from my primary school also attended. I was absolutely fine and made new friends without any issues, as I'm sure your son will. It meant that I made friends from other areas and broadened my experiences growing up as well. Don't stress about it op. Leave it as it is and only think about changing it if he has issues after the first term or so.

DD went off to boarding school where she knew no one. Nearly all her friends went to the local grammar. Fast forward a few months, former “friends” are forgotten. I felt most were mere acquaintances anyway. No lasting friendships from primary but 10 years after leaving school she’s in touch with many school friends and these are the lasting friends in her life. More than university friends.

I honestly believe he’ll be fine. If he still wants to go, don’t wobble now.

Hang on in there! He will make new friends. DS changed schools at y9 and only very very rarely meets up with school friends from his previous school. He welcomed the change and made a whole new set of friends with no preconceptions of who he was and where he fitted in their "pecking order" so to speak. He found it a very positive change for the good.

It wouldn't just be school you would have to drive him back and forth for it would be every time he wanted to meet with friends.

New friendships form really quickly, it's an exciting time but of course your son won't know this yet. Is he anxious too? Most secondary schools I know bring the Y7s in a day before everyone else and some run clubs for new starters, though I suspect CV has impacted that. You will both really appreciate not having to travel. Very soon after starting primary seems a distant memory.

It'll be far more restrictive for him to maintain new friendships if he can't travel by himself and has to rely on you for the next 7 years.

Very few primary school friendships survive secondary - stick to the original plan.

Yup! DD started Y7 in September not knowing a soul. Pretty much her whole class went to the same secondary so we had tears all summer up until the end of the first week.
It'll be fine, you won't regret sending him to a closer school. Her old friends have had drama all year because best friends have met new kids and grown apart, she's very glad to not have been a part of it.

My DC started secondary with a big group of school friends. They all scattered and found new friends almost immediately! Yr 7 is a funny year for friendships I think- so many new people to meet and big year groups all mixed up from so many different schools. Certainly we found it very transient in terms of friendships and I don't think that is uncommon.