Is it too much to let a child travel 50 minutes to school?

I'd hate it. My usual commute us about an hour. On a bad day it's way more - tiring and a waste of time.

I think it is doable and I think it's a bit shit.

You also need to think about how easy it is to travel home if he wants to stay for an after school club - does that mean he hits rush hours traffic, for example?

What is your plan for managing sports fixtures, concerts, school plays, parents' evenings. You mention "oldest" son - so presumably you have other child/ren to consider.

The friendship thing is a big deal. My DC spend basically all their weekends and holidays (when we're not in lockdown) making ad-hoc plans with friends which generally don't need a parent to facilitate. My niece goes to a school that is 40 minutes drive from her house, most of her friends live in a different direction, and she doesn't get to see much of them during the school holidays.

I think it's important to be scrupulously honest about the journey time. If it's maximum 50 minutes and pretty reliable, then that's the outside of acceptable.

My kids, for example, use a train that takes 12 minutes and it's a 5 minute + 8 minute walk either end. But I can't say it's a 25 minute journey - there's the waiting on the platform, trains cancelled etc. I'd call it more like a 40 minute door-to-door journey (although it often does take less than half an hour). I think sometimes we can have a tendency to be optimistic about journey times and take the best case scenario.

Frequency makes a big difference too. There were only two buses an hour for my journey to school so I had to get there early and at a specific time. In rush hour, the trains go every 5 minutes for my kids so they can turn up more randomly.

Agree with PP that parents often say children 'love' their journey but I know I hated mine. I'd much prefer that my children didn't travel but it's not a bad journey they do.

Kit is a consideration. My prep school age DS sometimes goes into school with school bag, kit bag, swimming bag, cricket bat bag and boarding gear. I literally load him up like a little pack horse- and he doesn't even play a musical instrument. No way could he manage it all swapping between busses and trains.

I was wondering the same as @GreyishDays , what time will he need to leave in the morning? My ds goes to a school that I can drive to in less than 10 minutes, but he has to leave home at 8.10, so 40 mins before school starts, and that's on a school bus rather than a public one with connections. I really wouldn't want him to spend longer than he does getting to school as he is very tired as it is.

DH travelled for over an hour to his independent school, I walked to my bog standard comp as did DS. We all ended up with decent A levels. DH says his childhood was quite lonely as none of his school friends lived locally. DS had three friends that lived within two roads of our house and a great time was had by all going round to each other’s houses.

Honestly it’s a mixture of raw material, parental input and schooling. The school my DS went to had on its other side to us an enormous rough estate, most MC parents bussed their dc to the next comp in the next suburb. Our friends were rather shocked we didn’t. It was the best decision we ever made. MIL could never understand why we didn’t pay for private schooling when we could afford it but we knew our DS would be fine. I get people want the best for their dc but I think two hours a day commuting is crap for dc, that’s the kind of stuff that awaits them when they are bogged down with a mortgage and bills of their own.

Is it really 50 mins at rush hour? Are there any connections that could take longer?

What time will your child need ot be in school compared tot he bus times?

What will they have to carry to school? School bag obviously but maybe an art folder, PE kit, musical instrument.

In my day that list would aldo include a cookery basket and drama kit.

Do you have other children and will they attend the same school?

For a number of reasoins when I started secondary three other chilkdren were living in the house and 3 adults. Everyone els got homw from school at lease 1/2 an hour before me.

It meant that I'd sometimes get home and be told we were having a take away and they had decided it shuold be Chinese (or pizza, or whatever) and they had ordered for me.

Such a little thing but made me feel I had no voice.

Then I'd be starting homework after the others had finished and were pl,aying / watching TV etc.

I was known to occasionally geb my dad's car keys because the only place there was any peace was in the car on the drive.

I’d also think about if they missed the bus and what impact it would have on his arrival time. Also how early would they have to leave for school in the morning. In winter months when it’s still dark and cold it’s not very nice an 11 year old walking off in to the dark. Same applies for if they miss the bus coming back.

I used to get stuck in football traffic all the time somy one hour journey could easily turn in to two hours and I was shattered, cold and not liking the dark.

Tbh thinking about it can’t believe my parents thought it was ok to do it

How does it look on the way back? Are there really regular buses or trains? I mean will it actually be 50 minutes?

at 11 that’s too much. I remember having to travel to my mothers every weekend after school and that was a two bus journeys about an hour. I was approached many times by men at the bus station interchange also the kids going in the same direction used to really mess about on the bus and bully the younger kids so for those reasons no.

I’d there not the possibility of you driving half way till they get older?

Sounds awful, I had a 25 minutes walk to high school until 5 th year when we moved and it was then a 15 minute bus ride which was fine. If I got a later bus because of a club etc it had kids coming from the next city from indie schools, often their journey was 1 1/4 or 1.5 hours, they always looked shattered. I wouldn't do that to my kids unless there really was no alternative. Sounds like you are choosing to move that far away from the school you want. I hope it is a nice house and a good school!

Personally I think it is too many changes and too long. May be manageable during summer months but during winter ? Cold, dark, sitting on trains, buses for 2 hours each day in already wet clothes from the pouring rain? Nope. I wouldn't want to do it and definitely wouldn't expect a child to.

Can you move to the end of a school bur route and then plan for him to have a car for the 6th form?

I had an hour’s journey to school on a bus every day and an hour’s journey home from the age of 11 to 18. Added to that was a five minute car ride from the bus stop home, or a 30 minute walk. My bus left at ten to eight every morning and I usually got home around quarter to five. It was absolutely fine and actually I quite enjoyed it, it provided a kind of ante chamber between school and home to prepare/ depressurise, we had fun on the bus, and I often did my homework on it. I did not feel I missed out on anything. It was a school bus though, which might make a difference.

The daily travel to school is fine for your child.
But from experience, you need to consider that his friends could be travelling an equal distance from the opposite direction, which can make after school or weekend visits to friends' houses difficult if you have to collect him.

I would do your research. Is this journey typical at the school? How are you going to manage socialising at weekends and in the holidays? When are the clubs? If they are mainly after school or your child is sporty and on school teams, then they may not be home until 6ish or if they are into acting and have rehearsals after school. Is that doable on a regular basis?

Is the journey really only 45-50 minutes or are there likely to be missed connections? Usually I’d suggest giving this a go at the right time, but not possible at the moment.

What is the alternative? Is the private school worth the extra two hours travel? Have a look at what else is around as well. What catchments are you likely to be moving into?

Having done the long commute as a child and it was hard to socialise at weekends and in the holidays, we have chosen to live within 10 minute walk of one excellent state school and they’ll be able to walk to their friends houses so can meet up easily and independently.

I think it’s a long day, nearly 7 hours at school, then 2 hours on top for travel and then homework. I’d say it’s not ideal but many kids do it and cope.
My kids would hate it.

How about buying.a smaller property nearer to the school? Or choose a different indie? Or just send him to a state school within sensible travel time of where you live now / where you move to, if you need to move anyway.

Moving for a specific school but choosing / being financially constrained to live no nearer than a 50minute commuter your DC to said school seems a bit bonkers, tbh.

It’s not impossible, many do it. But if I had a choice I’d choose a school/house with less commute time as that’s a lot of his young life spent commuting when you add it up.

This is interesting, a big difference here, many saying it's fine, several (perhaps not as many) saying it's too long.

I also had a similar commute as a child. I hated it. My parents would have said it was fine. But it would have massively improved my life in every way, if I hadn't had to do it.

This. Massively this. Both DH and I had long commutes. He went to a grammar school a long way away, I lived in a rural area and also went to a grammar. When I was 14, my best friends lived 15+ miles away. I really feel that I missed out as a child through lack of social life - not to mention that I was out of the house from 8am to 4.45 each day. DH says the same.

We were keen that our DC would not have to deal with that. We moved on purpose to an area with schools we liked within walking distance. In fact we are a spit away from their secondary, ds2 leaves the house at 8.30 and is home by 3.20. Means that after school stuff is easier to access, their day is not so long and their mates live an accessible distance away.

FWIW we live in a smallish city and most kids I know walk to secondary. Obviously if you're rural it's a different story.

Op, a 45-minute commute is not impossible. But personally I would try to avoid it. If you are moving anyway, why not move nearer?

I did 2 bus rides to school probably over an hour, hated every minute, hated standing at a bus stop in the rain getting soaked, missing connections when the traffic was bad.

We chose this house for the local secondary school, it is a 20 minute walk or a 5 minute car ride. Consider after school clubs or any sort of sport club commitment and how dark it will be in winter when he comes home. Plus transport at that time rather than a normal school kick out.

It doesn't sound much when you say 50 minutes coming home, but when you consider that other children have been home for 30 minutes over a week that is 2 1/2 hours of school work being done whilst your child is still travelling.

I did, 45 mins changing buses in the town centre. My DD's went 30 mins

Dd has done both, primary and secondary 15min walk. 6th is 1.15hrs by public transport.

she felt it was worth it for this particular school, but difficult to see friends and tiring.

On the positive the school know lots of students come from far and wide so clubs etc are at lunchtime.

Really depends if there are no other good options more locally.

Yes, perfectly fine, and quite common where I live.

It may seem a lot initially to year 7 pupil, but they soon get used to it, and they’re not baby faced year 7s forever.