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Original poster

Teen and homework hell

58 replies

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 17:46

How do you get teens to do homework that they don't want to do? My 13 year old is of the opinion that as the school has consequences then he is free to choose between either doing the homework or accepting the consequence. The consequences are lunchtime detentions where he can sit reading to his heart's content Confused.

The homework that he doesn't want to do is the English reading scheme. It's not so much the reading itself, though he doesn't enjoy some of the genres and sees reading these particular books as a form of torture, it's the associated tasks. I think he's caught up to where he should have got to by Christmas, maybe, I can't get any clear answers out of him, he had been telling me he was up to date before when it turns out he wasn't. I'm a sole parent and I work full time so he usually does homework after school before I get home. I have taken his tablet away that he was actually reading web serials on. He is now re-reading The Three Body Problem and I don't know if this is a delay tactic as it's a long book or if it will actually count for the scheme. I just want him to bring home some easy 200-300 page YA novel from the school library and just get the tasks done! He won't talk to me about it so I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Username22344 · 06/03/2020 20:37

QuixoticQuokka why are you blaming the school and their "sanctions"? The school is doing what they are meant to, are you as a parent? Surely if your son is not doing homework/reading etc, it's your job to make sure he does, whether he likes it or not...

Original poster
QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 19:58

I just don't understand how the school thinks that their sanctions are any deterrent at all. He either reads, or does other (less objectionable) homework so he doesn't have to do it at home. I think he may actually like the detentions.

He's calmed down now and told me he has done one reading task out of 12 for the year (he did that one last weekend) when he should have done six already. The scheme is to get them to read books from a range of authors and genres, he mostly reads fantasy and science fiction by choice.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 06/03/2020 19:41

I would leave it between him and the school. Let the school deal with any sanctions they feel are appropriate.

LittleBearinaBigWorld · 06/03/2020 19:34

If this homework is for a reading scheme and he is not doing it in favour of reading (what sounds to be a higher level book) I don't see the problem! And this is coming from someone who runs the school reading scheme!

Original poster
QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 19:25

He sometimes doesn't complete other homework too, or completes it late, but it is the combination of a lack of due date and the fact it is English that seems to be why this homework is a particular problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 19:20

He refuses to show me homework he's done, or to talk about it most of the time. The reading scheme is all year, two books (given a choice of two books, choose a book by a particular author, or a particular genre, kind of thing) and associated tasks per half term, no actual due dates I'm aware of. I don't know what he's done and hasn't done. I've only just found out that he isn't up to date because I had an email saying a detention was not a detention, it was 'for support' as he wasn't completing the scheme. It was in the same detention room and he was allowed to just sit and read as usual!

I don't know what punishments to use, he just reads if I take away technology. After school activities are Scouts and a sport he is doing for his DofE, both in his best interests to do. He is not motivated by money as he barely spends it.

I've tried telling him just to choose a book he has read recently that's likely to be accepted, just get it done and get it handed in. He reads faster than me and has more time to read, so I would have a difficult time trying to read the books too. The book he is currently re-reading as a delay tactic he read two years ago and I still haven't got around to finishing it.

OP posts:
SJaneS48 · 06/03/2020 18:52

Sorry, just re read your post and it’s just a very specific area that he’s having issues with! Can you see what these tasks are and what date they are due in? It’s a pain the arse but could you find time to read these books too and come up with some ideas together before sending him off to complete the tasks? Just a thought! And apologies for not reading your post properly round 1!

SJaneS48 · 06/03/2020 18:47

Can you see what his homework is on the schools intranet system (we have EduLink)? We have a wipe clean homework diary on the fridge that has to be written out and planned every week. Youngest DD has a fear of detentions and we have no trouble getting her to do it (though the quality and effort could be more!). With eldest DD it was a nightmare - I just had had to check it was done every night with punishments at home too for non completed homework. Sitting on top of her all the time was a complete pain (particularly at GCSE time when she had assignments) but there wasn’t any other way! Good luck, appreciate it’s stressful - particularly when you are a working single parent getting home later and just wanting your time with DC to be peaceful and good!