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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Teen and homework hell

58 replies

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 17:46

How do you get teens to do homework that they don't want to do? My 13 year old is of the opinion that as the school has consequences then he is free to choose between either doing the homework or accepting the consequence. The consequences are lunchtime detentions where he can sit reading to his heart's content .

The homework that he doesn't want to do is the English reading scheme. It's not so much the reading itself, though he doesn't enjoy some of the genres and sees reading these particular books as a form of torture, it's the associated tasks. I think he's caught up to where he should have got to by Christmas, maybe, I can't get any clear answers out of him, he had been telling me he was up to date before when it turns out he wasn't. I'm a sole parent and I work full time so he usually does homework after school before I get home. I have taken his tablet away that he was actually reading web serials on. He is now re-reading The Three Body Problem and I don't know if this is a delay tactic as it's a long book or if it will actually count for the scheme. I just want him to bring home some easy 200-300 page YA novel from the school library and just get the tasks done! He won't talk to me about it so I don't know what to do.

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Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 17:10

I do expect him to get an 8/9 in science (triple plus computer science), maths and DT, I don't know about history, but he's just not that good at English.

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Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 16:57

He is year 9. I don't think he could get an 8/9, he's never been very good at English, it's been a battle since Reception to get him to write. He loves reading, they sent home a letter in year 7 saying he had a reading age of 16, just hates English.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 16:46

Lang, you don't get my point at all. Those grades are great. But for children who can get better but can't be bothered just because they hate the genre, they may not be doing the favour themselves. Op isn't talking about yr9/10 children, she is talking about yr7 child. I really doubt it if you were a good English teacher, Lang. They should be able to encourage children to read something they never liked.

LangClegsOpinionIsNoted · 07/03/2020 16:32

A 7 is an old A, 6 an old B. Ish. Those grades are fine.

I would just leave him. Save your energy for making him read and reread the GCSE set texts. Ex English teacher here.

ElderAve · 07/03/2020 16:31

I gave up eventually and left them to it. Strangely, it was exactly that time they started applying themselves. Honestly I think the constant nagging support can be counter productive. I stopped when I realised it had more chance of destroying our relationship than getting them better academic results.

They're both adults now, probably never were destined to excel academically but got good enough grades to persue their dreams - their dreams, not mine.

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 16:25

It is a good grade if that's best he can get. Hating english and reading books of his choice all the time at home doesn't make sense though.
You say he reads all the time. But have you spoke to him about difference between 6/7 and 8/9? He clearly loves reading, and only in yr7. So, there are so much time, why think 6/7 is good enough?

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 16:05

A 6/7 is a good grade isn't it? He's hated English since he was four so I wouldn't expect a 8/9. The HOY can forward the email can't they, I don't see how that's different to a note?

He reads at school and home, he reads all the time.

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KoalasandRabbit · 07/03/2020 15:35

I would leave mine to it as long as their grades aren't falling or school hasn't sent a complaint home but if he's reading at school instead of reading at home can't see a huge issue.

Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 15:26

It's up to you. You can find many ways to talk to certain teacher if you wanted to. My dc's school is the same. They won't give out any email address for each teacher, but there is nothing preventing parents writing notes addressing specific teacher or requesting meeting with them.
If you are happy with expected levels of 6/7, so be it. But no, I wouldn't be happy, especially knowing your dc isn't doing their best, like not doing their homework.

cologne4711 · 07/03/2020 15:23

I would leave it between him and the school. Let the school deal with any sanctions they feel are appropriate

This. The school will either escalate the sanctions and/or ask to see you.

I don't know what punishments to use None. Would you ask the school to punish him if eg he didn't help with the washing up at home when asked? School is school and home is home - within reason. Violence is one thing - not doing homework in a subject you are decent at is quite another and the school should absolutely be able to sort it.

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 15:01

I can't find any contact details for individual teachers. I think the scheme is just for year 7 to 9, not GCSE. I don't get much information from school. He does the other English homework and classwork as far as I know and is on track for expected grades of 6/7 in English.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 14:26

You don't need to go in, surely? It's best if you can talk face to face, but a lot of time, it can be done through emails or simple notes.
You said you have emailed HOY, but have you actually tried to contact his English teacher?
When He takes GCSE, he has no choice, doesn't he? What's the difference?

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 07/03/2020 13:52

I've emailed the HOY now, they can forward the email if need be. I can't just go in without taking half a day holiday and I only have the statutory minimum to stretch over 13 weeks of school holidays. If the teacher had wanted to talk to me they would have requested a parents evening appointment, so I maybe I am overreacting.

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Stormyjupiter · 07/03/2020 12:08

Bookishtartlet, but at this age, trying out the genre you don't go normally because the teacher set it, is part of learning?

I do agree with pp that suggested go and find out what's going on. Sometimes you need to do something you don't like. They can't just opt out just because they don't like it.

bookishtartlet · 06/03/2020 22:21

Can the school not allow him to do tasks based on the books he will read? Someone in English should be able to adapt the task easily, that way he is doing the homework. What a ridiculous set up. I run the reading programmes in my school and there is no way I would force kids to read a genre they hate, what is the point??

XelaM · 06/03/2020 21:50

If he is reading SOMETHING- it's a great thing for a 13-year-old and you are doing very well! I say it as a single mum of a 10-year-old

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 21:39

Giroscoper DS has finally told me that he's only done one task out of 12, so I know the situation now. I wanted to see the teacher at parents evening but they booked up and the teacher did not request an appointment (if the teacher requests then you get one as a priority). He gets detentions but doesn't see them as a bad thing. He doesn't get to opt out. I haven't said the reading scheme is a bad thing? Reading at home and then doing an associated task is the homework. I'm not sure I understand what you are saying?

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Giroscoper · 06/03/2020 21:31

Personally I would be booking an appointment to see someone in school to find out what is going on.

At the end of the day this is homework that the school have set. Your child should be doing it but also receiving a detention or some form of punishment from the school. Why does he get to opt out?

The reading scheme has surely been introduced to help with their English skills, how is this a bad thing? So what if he is reading at home? That isn't the homework.

SJaneS48 · 06/03/2020 21:27

Everyone thinks they are doing wrong, honestly! I was a young single parent with my eldest and thought that 24/7 - go a bit easier on yourself! Me, I’d make sure he did it rather than leave it up to him as I’m a hard arse and find something that he will actually mind loosing as a punishment for not doing it.

QGMum · 06/03/2020 21:27

Another vote for leaving him to it. And I say that as an older, middle class mother

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 21:18

Seems the consensus is not to worry then? I'm never sure if I'm doing the right thing with this teen parenting. I was left to my own devices with regard to school at this age but this school is a super selective and the parents are mostly middle class types and older than me so I'm not sure if the expectations are different or if I'm doing it all wrong.

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nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 06/03/2020 20:55

I'd leave him to it tbh. If he's accepting the consequences then that's up to him.

XelaM · 06/03/2020 20:51

The school*

XelaM · 06/03/2020 20:50

Honestly, if your son is reading by choice in his free time - you should be happy and leave th achool to enforce the reading scheme. Doesn't seem to be the end of the world if he hasn't done it if he reads things he enjoys instead

Original poster

QuixoticQuokka · 06/03/2020 20:48

I'm not blaming the school. I don't understand having sanctions that are enjoyable, but I don't know what to do either. How would you make a teenager read a book or do the associated writing task? I'm genuinely asking because I don't know how to.

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