Terrible bullying- can I remove dd from her private school- right before her GCSEs?

Just wanted to say how sorry I am your DD is going through this. We had a DC bullied. School denied it and were useless. We kept trying. In the end we just had to remove our DC. Our child is now thriving and your DD will too once she is away from this dreadful school.

I’m so glad your DD is out of that place. Poor love! And poor you to be doing your utmost to support her in the face of truly cynical and incompetent treatment by the school. I don’t know if this helps, but basically this is ‘bullying 101’. The bully ringleader behaves like all abusers and isolates their target. Others are too scared or intimidated to stand up for the victim. There is nothing your DD could have done differently and tell her from me (with a lot of prior experience here) that she’s been very brave. The people with the duty of care and the power to change things are the teachers and staff - and they have failed miserably. More. They have colluded. I endured all this in a ‘sink’ secondary modern in the 1970s, it’s grotesque your girl is going through it in a fee-paying school in 2020. I’d be giving them no more money and I’d be considering legal action. As PP have suggested, get as much as you can in writing: your complaints in full with a time line and the school’s responses. Your DD won’t have anything like a level playing field to sit her A Levels, and will have options to find an alternative 6th form college. Her wellbeing comes first.

It's staggering that they've implicitly accepted everything the bully is doing by putting in measures to protect your daughter but they are, seemingly, doing nothing to punish the bully.

I would seriously consider taking some legal advice on this. And also preparing a full complaint to send to the school governors.

Sorry. Missed last post.

OP why would you want to send your DD back in? honestly at this point you have to do damage limitation. Stop hoping for an agreeable resolution from this sham of a school, pick up the phone first thing tomorrow and start contacting places suggested by posters here where your DD might be able to continue her studies. I've also read many good things on here about "Interhigh". Once you start finding out what opportunities there are for her you will find this nasty school and its actions has less power over you. You can still engage with the complaint proceedings but your DD will be on the road to recovery from this traumatic experience and be looking forward to her GCSEs.

Really sorry to read this OP. One of my friends works for Cambridge Home School and you can definitely take GCSEs via them as we have discussed the logistics many times. I don't work for them or have anything to do with them other than knowing my friend. But you do have options.

‘because they let the bullies do that’.

Good Lord what kind of place is this?

What did the Governers do?

Sorry if I've missed that

Crossposted.

Oblomov She's already pulled her out, read the latest update.

The investigation concludes today?
But the head doesn't know what's happened recently. He needs to know!

So at least copy and paste this thread into an email. Do it by email, not verbally, so you've got a paper trail. Do it tonight.

I would pull her out. I'd go and collect her immediately.

I'd email HoY, Head. And make a complaint. And send to parent governors.

It's 1/2 term next week, I'd try to get it resolved, pushed, so she could return ASAP after Feb 1/2 term.

I'm absolutely astounded reading this.

The 'school' needs naming and shaming eventually.

Use the voice recording app on your phone, place on the table during the meeting and inform the teachers (whilst recording so you have proof) that you are recording this meeting in case evidence is required in the future.

Ruffle their feathers, make them worried about what you will do not what the bullies parents will

If they aren't going to exclude the other pupil then I would inform the school that you cannot allow your daughter to be in school as they are unable to keep her safe. Surely lack of proper safeguarding procedures is a breach of contract on their part and you should be able to you withdraw your daughter with immediate effect, and not be liable for paying any further fees?

They are not sending you an email so you cannot keep a copy. Take notes on Thursday and when you get home type them up and send an email to school saying this was the conversation that took place between all of us today, then you have a documented copy.

School sounds appalling.

It does sound as if you need to pull her out now, because her mental health is more important than anything. Even if the school start doing something more effective at this point, it's possibly too late.

I would consider talking to the police. If stuff is being sent around about her online or on phones then there may be a criminal offence. It should be possible to talk to someone about it.
(www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/all-about-bullying/bullying-and-law/what-does-law-say-about-bullying may be helpful)

(There's some stuff somewhere on that site about what steps you can take if a school fails to address bullying effectively.)

I think the school owe you some support, especially if you're tied into fees for next term. At the very least, they ought to allow her to take her exams there - they've probably already entered her, and you'd probably be looking at late entry fees to enter her elsewhere at this point. Taking them in a separate room to the other girl may be feasible if they have those with extra time in a separate room, but might be difficult otherwise, although they could perhaps enable her to come in after everyone else is seated and leave first so she doesn't have to mingle.
If the syllabus has mostly been covered, perhaps they could provide revision materials and mark work on past papers (particularly any subjects you don't feel confident about), and preferably some individual tuition.
If you do consider going to the police, that might provide a bit of leverage when it comes to discussing how she can be supported with her exam preparation.

Go to the police OP! Do what the previous poster advised you to do

Write down everything you and dd can remember and collate emails etc for as far back as you can.

I'm not surprised they won't email, they're frightened to write anything that may incriminate them.

I would either record the meeting (after agreeing codes such as child #1 etc) or go with a solicitor. Delay the meeting if necessary so it's on your terms.

I'm so sorry OP. You've had good advice. #1 priority is restore MH #2 Sit GCSEs when appropriate which may not be this year. Not at that school.

Seniorschooldesperation

And they didn't do anything?

Remove her from school, buy the CGP books for her GCSE subjects, download a ton of past papers from the subject exam board and go from there.
For her to sit exams this summer, you will need to be quick..unless the school can offer for her to sit them there, but that's probably not the best environment for her.
The other things you could do, is remove her, give her time off to recover and send her to college in September to repeat GCSEs. Yes, she will be a year behind, but she will be so much happier and her mental health will be quicker to repair.
Do you know where the bully might be going for sixth form? Make sure you steer well clear of that school.

So relieved she's home.

I wouldnt believe the daylight from the school at this point and personally I wouldnt send her back for exams - how could she possibly do well while wondering if she will see the bully? I sat an A-level as a private candidate some years ago at the local comprehensive. I did the course via the National Extension College. Friends are looking at Interhigh. A girl who was always unhappy at schools locally has blossomed at 6th form college. Even if she has to wait a few months and take gcses at the resit time or even next year, what on earth does that matter?

Of course your dd felt responsible when she was asked 'what do you want to happen'. Whatever she said, that was a shitty approach to a child who has been stalked,ostracized and attacked for 3 years.