Year 7 - mobile phones!

With mobiles it is easier to start with restrictions and ease off as trust is gained, than to start free and easy and impose restrictions later.
So my advice is set up the rules before the phone is bought/handed over.

At dd1’s school, Y7s have everything from a brick phone to the latest iphone with full internet access. She has a very locked down iphone (with the homework app and bus planner able to access the internet, a web browser restricted to the school’s internal website and no social media) which allows her to take photos of the board, text/iMessage her friends, phone home, check the buses etc.

We don’t allow WhatsApp (age limit is now 16) which has been a slight issue in practical terms, as she’s had to find different ways of keeping in touch with various clubs (they’ve kindly set up iMessage groups to include her). But it paid off, as there was a lot of WhatsApp Y7 drama at the start of term which she wasn’t involved in.

Her phone also has restrictions on when it will work (and it has to be downstairs before bedtime) and how many hours of games she can play on it. So far, this has worked well, and she’s able to use it as a tool and for fun, but without it becoming a problem.

It does say it can be used safely with parental supervision and DDs account is private. It really is up to the parent and what they feel comfortable with I think. It’s nothing something though I’d agree that should be allowed unchecked without understanding what the settings are and having a chat about potential dangers with your DC and doing some private monitoring to ensure this is being followed. The same goes for all social media, it’s really important to keep an eye on it. I know my eldest DD (now 25) felt I was hugely invading her privacy by having her log ins - however that was our condition for her having social media access. Each household will work to what they feel is best though!

SJaneS48 thanks for the link. It recommends 16+ for tiktok. www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok

I didnt give my dd a mobile until end of year 8. She didnt get missed out/ bullied and she walks to and from school everyday. The school will have your number if there are any problems

My children got their mobiles YR7 also the last of their friends. What would I do advise/do differently?
*Know the passwords
*Set up privacy and block certain sites
*No mobile during meals
*No mobile til after homework
*No mobile after bedtime and they not be in the bedroom and be prepared to put up with tantrums and cancel the contract or remove altogether.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.commonsense.org/blog/b6355546-ace0-453b-a04a-8a9c1c5eaa15

Up to any parent obviously re what they let their children use (and to be honest, for us the occasional flare ups on WhatsApp have been the most worry). They need a talk through on what’s ok, potential dangers and switching on privacy settings.

DD is now on roblox and one of her classmates is messaging her at midnight from her bedroom... I'm guessing her parents think she is asleep...

Dd is yr 5 and some of her classmates have phones but I am hoping to hold out until at least yr7. A couple of them have tiktok which is meant to be horrendous and you need to be 13 to have an account. I think a lot of parents use them to keep their kids quiet and don't worry about the risks...

We did allow WA in Y6 when he got his phone, and actually it was quite good to get used to it before secondary. He got his fingers slightly burnt by joining in with the endless GIF spamming, and got told to stop being annoying by one of his friends. That got it out of his system, and now he just can't be arsed with the endless crap on WA. I regularly look at his phone to find over 1000 unread messages on the big group chats. He very occasionally messages on the smaller chats, usually practical stuff about homework. He's much more interested in using his phone to play games, or listen to music, or check the football scores.

We have our eldest a mobile that was parent ally controlled in year 6. You can get your phone company to set filters on content so they are age appropriate. Also we did it in year 6 so that the novelty wore off. We didn’t allow what’s Ap until year 7 and never allow phones upstairs at all. They are in the kitchen, they go away at 6.30 with all other screen devices. That way he has to find something else to amuse himself with- normally a film or book or tv. My sons phone what’s Ap groups have like 100 messages on most days that appear over night at all hours. He reads about 2 then he can’t be arsed because it’s just page after page of gif and nonsense. He rarely uses the phone for texting or anything other that you tube funny vids. He isn’t really interested in his phone, we thought he would be obsessed. I read the messages now and then and I have a rule that no tex ta or what’s Ap can be deleted except by me. X

I got DS a mobile for Y7 mostly because he was missing out on arrangements to meet up with friends locally. They seem unable to plan ahead at school when they see each other! Phones are banned at his school but it has been useful for the journey to and from school especially when he's missed the bus and been stranded! He doesn't have WhatsApp or use of the internet. What he does have and is loving is a programme to make stop motion animation. I am (compared to mum friends) very anti-screen time, but so far his phone has worked out fine.

DDs school is v strict and she only ever texts me from the toilet. Her friends in other schools make TikToks in the playground which she's v jealous of. She has tiktok but only under the agreement that I am also logged in on my phone and monitor it. We also go through her phone together. She didn't like this at first but now comes to me and shows me when things are a bit weird in the group chats. I think the key was not getting her into trouble when she herself got into a stupid situation online. I calmly spoke with her and she now feels confident that I won't kill her if she messes up. At least I hope so lol

Different schools have different policies re phones. Some keep them in boxes until the end of day, others don’t as previous posters have explained. My son’s school has a similar policy and there are consequences if you don’t keep to those rules. Homework is set online so need to take photos in class.

Nothing electronic past 7pm would be too restrictive for students at my DC's school (unless they religiously did all school related things before that time, which generally isn't possible if they have afternoon clubs). Literally everything is online - they have no books.

on their policy and procedures they're v strict on not allowing phone use during school hours

I would check the actual implementation of this policy with someone who already has a child at the school.

Tiktok and YouTube (with the parental restrictions on!). She had Snapchat but deleted it.

I would say allow a phone too. I was thinking my son could wait until secondary but no I caved in at Y6. At my son’s secondary school phones are not to be used as soon as you enter school until you leave the school gates or they will take the phone off you. But it’s good to have in case of delays, train cancellations and you can send them messages they can pick up at the end of the day too. He’s on different WhatsApp groups that the boys have formed that cover different interests. So general group where they all talk about anything, his form talk about homework, a rugby group and then Fortnite and he has a group with his primary school friends. I still check his phone and have his password. The phone doesn’t have to be expensive, his phone is his Dad’s old one, but I think it’s better to have some sort of smartphone, but others prefer to give their children a brick one! He doesn’t do a lot of apps , mostly games and TikTok. He’s been taught to be responsible with the phone. So as another poster said strict times of use in evening and more relaxed at weekends. Tbh it would seem strange I think now for him not to have one.

We have a nothing electronic past 7pm rule and no phone/tablet/laptop in bedrooms as well. In the WhatsApp groups and one on one messaging, there has been the odd flare up with DD rushing upstairs in tears. It is pretty reflective though of girls this age - lots of hormones, falling in and out with each other and drama. Obviously everything looks worse in text and things are very easily misinterpreted as we grown ups know! It has been a learning experience for all of us and now she just accepts or adds people she knows and likes and blocks anyone being a dick. Less overall drama! We did insist that a condition of her having the phone is us having the password and as above, I check it all once a week after she’s gone to bed! She has limits on what social media apps she’s allowed on (or not) as well and I check her internet history. With the blocks she’s got on it, she can’t search up anything that inappropriate either!

Perhaps it’s worth finding out from the school OP how the homework is set? Ours is through the Edulink app. Sure you can access it via a laptop but most kids have it on their phones. As above, if DC are travelling themselves to school or hanging out in moving groups at weekends, having the tracking app on their phones does help a lot!

DDs school do allow phones purely as an aid to learning and enforce that. I think that’s fine!

As above, it’s swings and roundabouts on the pro’s and cons but overall for us it’s a pro.

We have middle schools here and the vast majority of dc have phones for year 5. Those that don’t have them, generally get them for the Christmas/birthday in year 5. A lot of them tend to walk to and from school without parents or catch the bus.

There have been times when we have been asked to download a certain app for the dc to use in class. However generally phones are handed in at morning registration and they have to collect them at the end of the day.

Dc1 is at high school (year 9/age 13) and they are allowed to keep their phones on them all day and school do email them work/messages etc.

I was a bit shocked to hear on question time last night that over half of 7 year olds now have a mobile phone. I did wonder in what way they have their own phone, eg, dc aged 9 has a very old phone of mine with no sim, so it doesn’t call anyone but she can play games on it. Or if they have their own contracts?
I think waiting till your dc is 13 to get a phone is very late. I would expect he would be the only one without at that point. My dc are planning their whole social lives on their phone, they seem to make loose plans while they are at school, but wait till they get home to confirm them.