Choice between grammar and good local school

Choose the school dependent on the best fit for your child. If they don’t cope well with travel and longer days that will be a factor. 40mins isn’t long for a journey to school for most DCs.

DD is at a grammar just over a mile away, but some of her friends travel for an hour. She has really found her tribe of like minded friends (but otherwise very diverse) and that has been amazing to see.

I know people who have turned down the grammar as they felt it was too far and chose a comprehensive but that was often as it was on their doorstep or a short walk away and they also had other DC to consider.

We are lucky in that our Grammars are close by. However DS and DD quite envied their friends who got the school bus in as they seemed to have a lot of fun.

I'd go for the right school for your child. If they're happy at school the commute or lack of is less important.

We’ve gone for the grammar and selective independent (with bursary) options for our two (now year 9 and 11) over local schools, but all three nearest comprehensives are bottom of the league tables/ below average progress.

Socially it’s been great for both of them, they fit in, have friends, no social issues etc ( and ds was bullied at primary.) Ds has a long journey though, well over an hour as it’s two buses and there’s waiting time. He could have a shorter journey if he went by tram and train, and did last year, but he prefers bus with friends.

The journey is very hard at this time of the year - Nov/Dec/Jan feel very gruelling and I tend to question our decision! Ds gets very tired. The rest of the year it’s generally ok.

They both meet up with friends in town. Dd is much more social though - with ds there’s a lot of online gaming socialising so it doesn’t matter where they live! Dd has had quite a lot of sleepovers over the years. They also both have local friends from outside school.

I’m sure they’d have done fine at local schools - well, certainly dd, not sure about ds as he’s lazy and easily led. I doubt dd would get as many 8s and 9s elsewhere looking at local results but it probably wouldn’t matter long term. However they’re both very happy. We also don’t worry at all about their education whereas I hear about kids at local schools having tutors because the teaching isn’t good/they’re having lots of supply teachers etc. I think the staff tend to be pretty stable at grammars.

@bws83 Where is your evidence that teaching at grammars is better than comprehensives?! And obviously exam results will be better because there’s an entrance exam to make sure they only take kids who are likely to get top results. I’ve worked in both grammar and comprehensive - one grammar was outstanding in every sense of the word and really looked after its pupils (which is partly why the results were so good as they took the view that if the students were well and happy and flourishing personally they were more likely to do well). Behaviour was generally very good. Another was ofsted outstanding but I wouldn’t have touched it with a barge pole for my kids - they only cared about data and the school’s position in league tables, and there were a lot of miserable kids. Behaviour was not good. The comprehensive had, in my view, better teachers than the second grammar and a lot more student support and more able students did extremely well.

OP, visit the schools - you and your child will probably get a gut feeling of where they’ll be happiest. There’s no point being at the school with the best results in the world if you’re miserable, and there’s no point having a short commute if you’re unhappy either. Go with your gut.

Yes big difference between 40 mins and 1.5 hours.

What have the local school said about how they stretch the most academically able kids?

Visit the schools and talk to D.C. about what they want to do. They need to be motivated to do the exams and the journey. There’s also a big difference between a 40 minute journey and 1.5 hours. 40 minutes isn’t unusual in London (DS does this to comp to allow bus waiting time, traffic etc). Also how easy is the journey and are there back up options if one train line has delays? Are you in a bit of SE London where grammar applications are common i.e. most bright kids do them or in a bit where journey is more of a stretch so fewer do it?

Why do they need a tutor if they are as bright as you say? I would go for a good l8cal secondary school every time.

I said state because mine went to the local comprehensive. The eldest both came out with all A grades at gcses and A levels and the youngest are following in their footsteps with all grade 8s and 9s in mock exams. They have some issues with behaviour from other students but any school has that. There are good state schools out there despite the budget cuts, theirs isn't on any of the best schools in the country lists or anything like that, it's a bog standard school but with excellent management and teachers.

It's a bit different for us because our local option was poor - but DD is doing a 45 min commute to grammar. She doesn't love the commute but she is so happy at school that it is worthwhile. She's very happy socially too - when they can't meet up in person, they whatsapp! In fact, she's much happier socially than she was at primary school.

I guess it depends on where you think your child will be happiest. Have you visited the schools you're interested in? That might help you get a feel for it.

just my opinion I meant to say sorry.

I'd say grammar. Probably better exam results and teaching overall and well behaved peers. My son is in private we tried for grammar but were unsuccessful at the entrance exam, so we continued from prep to senior school on full fees. We have experienced a little of what you have said regarding friendships, its definitely going to have an impact but it's not impossible, to arrange meet ups and talk over the phone, after school activities, and trips with the school itself overseas etc. I think as well you can make friends throughout life but you only get one shot at your education. But its not my opinion.

The good local.