11+ panic - HELP! Ds wasn’t called for any interviews :(

My impression has been that bursaries are more common at senior schools than at primaries / preps (apart from special situations - albeit that includes the OP). Older / more prestigious schools are more likely to have bigger bursary pots available.

What I haven't seen mentioned on this thread yet, are that there are a lot of other sources of funding for children's education, some of which may be targeting children like the OP's. I'm not sure where to look to find lists or links to track them down but definitely worth searching online.

I agree that considering 13+ boarding may be a good idea if it could work for you and your son; but you will need to be taking steps to plan it from now even though you would also have to work out where he goes for the next two years.

I don't have knowledge of the London schools - just glad we didn't have to go through it when I read about them, independent or state tbh. Best wishes for getting a good outcome that you and your son can be happy with.

Don't panic yet OP, it sounds like you haven't heard from all the schools that your ds sat.

FWIW, I can see how this situation has happened. If it was suggested to OP that she apply for a primary prep bursary, she got one first time, and she knows that her ds is bright and able to do well in exams, I can see why she thought a secondary school bursary would be as straightforward, esp if ds sat loads of exams.

I can't imagine that prep primaries bombard their parents with 'make sure you complete your secondary school application form' in the same way that states do (and some parents/carers STILL make late applications), so she was out of that loop a bit.

A home move based on what school her son got into has complicated things.

OP, you do need to get a state application in somewhere before offer day on 1st March. That's not long now. Apply from your current address and you can submit another application should you move areas, but at least your son will know he has a school to go to in September if all else fails.

Hope that things work out as you want them to. They will work out somehow.

OP, two things strike me. You have particular needs, and are planning to move house, so the logical thing is to move wherever you will have the best set-up ie with your sister nearby. Secondly, if you're receiving benefits you cannot afford private school even with a bursary, so you need a state school place for your DS. Decide where you want to live, then look at the state options available, and put in a late application. State schools are fine, you know, and your DS will be happier if his mum is in the right place and he can concentrate on being a young boy and having good friends locally who live in the same catchment area as him. His CAT score suggests he's bright enough to do well in state school top set even if he isn't winning scholarships to expensive private schools, and you will both be much less stressed.

As others have said.....@Afrigginggoat has good advice. It seems best to move to be near your sister/good state school. As you rent and are not tied down for work, you can use this to your advantage.

It was fantastic news to get a full bursary at the Prep school....but unfortunately (being naive to the private school system) no one told you how difficult it is to get full bursaries and offers in the ultra competitive private senior schools of W/SW/NW London .

Interestingly being in Acton I wonder why St Benedicts wasn't on the list. They are not mega academic and do particular 100% bursaries for very low income families.
Best of luck, try to stay positive, there are great state schools out there.

Don’t be disheartened!
Speak to your head ask him what the options are now. Look at Christ’s Hospital and others who offer full bursaries for able children even if they are boarding. When your child took the exam the bursary status would be not disclosed - we are on 50% and my son is not high achieving in anything so see what happens. Worst case scenario you move and rent in the best catchment area - good luck you’re doing the best you can do for your son

@happycamper11
Yes it's basically a fee paying primary school

Sounds like the OP accessed a bursary fund that has paid the fees for her - most private schools are also registered charities (for tax purposes 🤣) and to keep their charitable status amongst other things they have to offer support to lower income families by contributing either a portion of the cost or the whole thing

Thing is Prep school is probably less than half the cost of secondary education and the OP is surprised that she hasnt been offered the full cost of her sons secondary education to be paid for

Most private secondary schools will offer bursaries towards the cost of the child excels at for example art, sports or music - getting an absolutely free place is like rocking horse 💩
They of course do have scholarships that cover the full cost but you have to be too of the class academically or musically to get close to getting one of these

Where in Hertfordshire do you need to be? St Christopher’s is an indie in Letchworth that offers bursary places and Is more about well rounded kids than pure academics. You’ve missed the deadline but you could ring and find out if they’ve offered those places? Explain your situation.

I think it’s down to being badly advised and as you got into the current school quite easily, not realising the intricacies of the situation, so I empathise.

Yes private primary school. I think the fees vary but round here they are about 9/10K per year. Secondaries are approx 17-20K a year but can be a lot more. I think the OP was saying that her son received a 100% bursary for the primary school, but I personally have never come across that.

Honestly, having out both mine through the private school system, some kids really struggle with the academic rigour. He has failed them, time to take the pressure off him.

He will be fine in state school

I'm not sure what a prep school even is. Private primary school? How was that being funded? Imagine they still come with significant costs even though im sure secondary is more expensive?

The thing with somewhere like Epsom College is that bursaries may be even less likely as it’s a flexi-boarding school and, as such, day pupils pay higher fees than at London day schools due to the longer, boarding-style day, ie they do prep at school after 4pm and also sport most afternoons. Plus they have to be there Saturday mornings and there are sport fixtures Saturday afternoon! A friend’s DS goes there and they live in Putney. He gets on the coach at 7am and off at 7pm. Plus he’s up early on Saturdays too. It’s exhausting and not for everyone! Reeds is the same re- the longer day.

What did your current school advise about the likelihood of bursaries at various schools OP? Did they or you look into this at all?

I agree, there is no point trying to get into an independent school outside of this round if the remaining 2 arent successful. 100% bursaries are offered to the top couple of candidates in round 1. Nobody is offered a 10% bursary off wait list or head phoning round in these types of schools. The only type of place that will be achieved now is a full fees place, or at best, a small discount (again, like the majority of people going down this road). It's better to be realistic and make plans accordingly.

Do you have any way of paying half fees OP? Family members, his father? If not, please move on and sort out a good state school for your son. That is still achievable by the sounds of it.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today OP and not feeling so bleak. There are plenty of options. A place in one of those schools is not the be all and end all for your son. They also come with a lot of extra pressure like a commute on public transport, getting to school on a Saturday, longer days. Most of these kids dont get home until after 6pm most days as it is expected that you will take part in after school activities, concerts, matches etc. If he has caring responsibilities as well, wouldn't it be kinder to find a school that he can walk to and be home at 4pm with time to help you and do his homework and have some free time.

Ok, OP knows she hasn't pursed an ideal course for her son.

BUT I think you're actually in quite a good position, OP, or at least better than gloomy. Because you rent, you've got something lots of ambitious parents don't have: the ability to get yourself right next door to an excellent state School.

Yes you'll be a late applicant, but move close and you'll be the top of any waiting list and you'll leapfrog over those who did get their applications in on time once the first round of offers are out (but who didn't get a place). Narrow it down a bit as to where might be good to move near your sister and posters can tell you of the best secondaries. They usually have between 180-221 kids per year so there's loads of movement post offers day, especially since a lot of parents who are intending to go private apply as a backup.

No, she doesn't need to look at independents @GracefulHippo. She cannot afford it without a full bursary and her son isn't going to get one.

It's much unkinder to keep dangling the potential of a fee-paying school for her son frankly. That dream is over. The OP needs to get realistic and fast. Her son is going to go to state school like 99% of children in the UK. And he will thrive I'm sure.

Most schools only offer bursaries to new pupils at 11+ and very few if any at 13+ or 16+. So if he doesn't get a place in any of the 8 schools it will need to be state school.

It took 10mins to fill out the state school form online, I did it and DS is very unlikely to go to state school but you never know what is going to happen.

If he is your carer Reeds and Epsom have very long school days finishing at 5.15/6pm each day plus travel time. A state school that finishes at 3/3.30 may be better for you both.

Go and look around state schools in your area. If you look at your council’s website it will explain how to make a late application and get yourself on a waiting list. A place will definitely come up. You could ring the council who will explain how it works. Look at each school’s website and they will explain how their application criteria rank - each are different eg. Faith schools put faith before distance from school, but for non faith schools it’s about distance. If your son is a carer you might get to the top of the waiting list under ‘exceptional circumstances’. There are lots of v good state schools where he will thrive. Good luck

^^

Exactly this. Private secondary school is unrealistic so stop pursuing it, for your son’s sake.

You need to accept you can't afford private school instead of assuming it will be offered to you

This is the crux of it for me and tbh I've seen a few people fall foul of this before. I think you have been misled. The reality is that private secondary schools are an option for 2 sets of families. Primarily they are open to people with money to put aside for their child's education, so at least one adult in the household working as a higher rate tax payer, and that's a stretch, or people that have independent wealth, inheritance or grandparents willing to pay the fees. The second group of famillies it is open to are those with no spare money to pay the fees but with extremely (unusually) clever /musically/sporting gifted children.

To pretend otherwise is just not living in the real world. The vast majority of people fall in neither of those categories and just get on with state schools, many of which are very good. You were very naive to think that your lovely, caring, clever boy, but not scholarship level (as you knew going in, as most children including mine arent), would be offered a full bursary at the schools you applied to. And you were naive to not have a backup plan given that paying full or partial fees isn't an option for you. You should have realised that before but you still have time to fix this for your son.

I agree with Lordfrontpaw, can we stop trying to kick OP when she is down. Yes, she made bad mistakes. She was also very badly advised. She is very upset about it and looking for solutions.

OP needs to look at options for both independent and state schools at this stage, for independents, the head master needs to step up. For state schools SHE needs to step up, do her research and start begging the LAs. This is scary and an awful position to be in, but it is solvable. Her DS will have a school (state or independent) in autumn.

I think advice specific how to research state schools and approach LAs would be very helpful to OP.

Ibstock has small 12+ entry.
Not sure about bursary situation though.

Maybe Kew House?
You may be finding it tougher because you are aiming for a bursary and pupils may have to be scholarship standard to have a chance of a bursary in some schools.

OP you need to apply for a state school ASAP. I understand your aspirations for your son but the bar is set so high especially for bursary places that a funded private place looks like it's not going to happen for you.
If he's in yr6 now, you really need to focus on finding a new home so you know which area you will be living, then your DS can settle in, and you can look at what schools are available.
I'm coming from the POV of a parent who's DC's have been state educated so far and will continue to be until 18.

I don’t know much about it but Dr Challoners and Watford Boys should fit requirements and he could have another year at prep.

This poor child, I'm horrified at what parents will willingly put their children through to get them into a school. Just send him to a bloody state school and stop putting so much pressure on him.

Poor wee lad.

This is all so completely alien to me I don't know where to start with it. We don't have grammar for a start in Scotland, but there just isn't this immense pressure on very small children either.

I cannot believe you haven't applied for a state place OP, even as a back up. Decide where you want to live and then apply for places. And stop pressurising that poor child. Let him kick a ball about or play Minecraft or something.

I feel sorry for you and your son. 8 exams is too much. 3-4 is normal . We did 3. Normally one aspirational one expected and one fall back if it all goes pear-shaped.
If you need a bursary you really need a state back -up and you can stil get into state school for September. If you are dead-set on private-I understand that fully but realistically you need to apply to schools we’re you would be targeting scholarships. Generally these schools are only prepared to shell out for you if they really want you for some reason or other.
Was your son expected to passHampton well for example? If yes then down grade academically speaking and try to excel. A step down would be Ewell castle for example . I have no knowledge of schools in the North of London however