Is there still a significant different in pupil behaviour and ambition between state and private school?

It’s a very curious argument, op. You must know full well that a state school getting 17% A-C grades isn’t remotely typical, and that your son’s current experience of private school is isn’t guaranteed either, in fact is fairly unusual.

More than 4 million GCSE students each year.
2 million boys.
2.1 million girls.

loads of schools have a 77-95% rate of all 7-9's.

Just saying. Lots and lots of children won't pass, many if the GCSE's.

But let's not underestimate how many bright kids there are out there. All 7-9's, going on to Russell Group Uni's etc, which are ruthlessly competitive.

And no. My Ds1 isn't included in the above. He's just fine, but not in that higher level.

But let's not underestimate how many bright kids there are.

My sons don't get 9's. So, That wasn't a boast.

I'm just saying there are lots of very good schools, especially in Surrey and Hampshire, with most children passing most of their GCSE's. And a lot of kids are getting high passes.

It's not that uncommon. In a good school, very bright kids, dedicated parents. They're bound to have good, high passes.

17% seems poor.

In my area (Surrey) a pupil getting all 9s gets into the local press.

2019 results for all 9s at GCSE.

78 pupils achieved seven grade 9s;
114 pupils achieved eight;
290 pupils achieved nine;
250 pupils achieved 10;
81 pupils achieved 11;
five pupils achieved 12.

Some sites show slightly differing results but all are in this ballpark.

100s getting straight 9s? I thought there were only 100s of pupils getting 10x9 nationally.

I'm not suggesting that your local schools aren't great by the way, but I think there's a danger in suggesting that 9s are commonplace. I had a friend who said her child would have been 'devastated' with an 8. There's enough perfectionism out there without children putting yet more pressure on themselves to get 9s rather than 8s.

30% ?

Most of the schools round here have scores of 88% or similar. 5 GCSE passes.

We have a huge number, I'm talking 100's of students who get all 9's.

Yes, private is better. Yes the classes are smaller.
But a good local school? Is not the shite that some posters seem to think.

There are good and bad schools in both sectors
There are pleasant and deeply unpleasant kids in both sectors.

I'm another one who can't get even start to get my head round Mumtown's post

Christ, yes.

Mumtown’s post is so full of issues I can’t even begin... Honestly, what on earth??

“In contrast most state school educated people I know seem to be of the opinion that their own happiness/happiness of their families is paramount which I struggle to understand.”

Eh? You struggle to understand why people want to be happy?

It depends on the schools. Our local state senior has a 68% pass rate at maths for girls, but only 41% pass rate for boys.
I have a ds so we went elsewhere.

It varies so much.

It depends on so many factors, particular school, HT, teacher, particular mix of children in a class, personality of child, pastoral support at the school. We all do the best we can for our particular kids according to the resources we can draw on.

Too much of a mixed bag really. I've taught in both, best behaviour and work ethic was all girls' private school. Worst was a failing mixed sex comp. But between the two extremes it's a mixture. Have seen excellent behaviour and hard work in state comps, and very unpleasant behaviour & zero work ethic in mixed set private schools - mostly from the boys, it has to be said.

I honestly can’t think what you are hoping that to gain from this thread OP

Yes -All state schools are hell holes and are just the same as your one experience in that one school 30 years ago. All of them .
It’s a wonder my child makes it home alive at the end of each day. Sometimes we have to send in a tactical unit for extraction

Thanks so much for popping on to tell us how lovely the private experience is (again based on one school) and ‘wondering’ about the rest of us.

This is so obviously an attempt to start a bunfight...

OP, I don't want to be a know-it-all but you are being naive if you think bullying doesn't exist at your school.

Yes absolutely. All private school children are hard working, well behaved, high achievers. Whereas all state school children simply spend their classes throwing chairs about and are happy to get 1 GCSE at grade 2.

... or maybe this depends massively on individual schools and individual cohorts of children? My niece (at private school) recounted a "game" at Christmas that she and her class mates had taken to playing - to see how much time they could waste at the start of each lesson before the teacher started teaching.

My DC go to a state school and yes there is some disruption, and yes there is some bullying (and I don't believe a school that says neither of these exist), and some children are not motivated to learn. But the vast majority are well behaved and want to do well.

Have to agree with @TeenPlusTwenties that there are some really really bad private schools out there. I don’t know anyone who has been to one but I know someone who sends their children to one. The eldest has drug problems, the youngest is bored shitless and apparently the teachers complain about his inability to ‘conform’ (that is the word they actually use, I’d pull my DD out of a school like that as soon as I heard that word). Most of the parents are very wealthy but barely educated and the overall vibe I get from that social group (which I avoid) is selfish and entitled. There is no sense of obligation arising from their privilege. They’re also very much of the happiness is important school of thought. Like I said, I know a lot of people from lots of different schools who have a fantastic attitude to life but most of them are from public schools (using that word in the more modern sense). There are definitely some smaller independent schools with a fairly toxic vibe. I would always speak to people who have been at a school/taught at a school when considering sending my child there, especially if the school isn’t preeminent.

Really?
I can't believe you think that.
You must know that this is not the case. See pp's.

If the school is good with good leadership, then this won't happen.

All the schools around here (Surrey) are very good. Ours is the local catholic one. (I'm not catholic, Dh's family are) and it is top in the country. Leadership is heavily involved, pastoral care excellent. Emails and phone call home if any misbehaving at all. Caring invested parents. In maths they have many sets. The top 3 sets are all planned to get grade 9 or 8 GCSE. Their grades for the whole year passing 5 GCSE's are ridiculously high, so I've no idea where OP's ridiculously low predictions come from?

I think you have wierd ideas about what schools are like these days. Or how or invested and involved most parents are.

Of course there are poor schools, struggling, failing schools. lots of parents (not on MN, in RL) who couldn't give two hoots : but that wouldn't be the school that you would choose for any of your children would it?

I have worked in both state and private and been to both. Behaviour/attitude entirely depends on the school and their intake. What set your child is in can also make a big difference. The amount of diversity also depends on the school. The two least diverse schools that I have worked in were both faith state schools. One in central London and one in east London.

Depends entirely on the individual schools. You cannot generalise.