How are all the children about to start secondary school feeling? Nerves? Excited? And how are all you Mums?!

Please put labels on their clothes and particularly their shoes!

You'd be amazed how many of them mix up their shoes, even at the age of 11

(MartianBishop ex year 7 tutor!)

Can I join in?

My DS starts secondary this week too. I think he's looking forward to it as he spent a week at their summer school (brilliant idea).

Good luck to all those (Dcs and Mums) who have the wobbles this week!

BL

P.S. Nighty....didn't want to feel no-one had read your post. Sympathise hugely but as I'm not familiar with the Bavarian system don't feel I can offer much advice. Can you explain why you're in Bavaria, are you German, is this for the long term etc etc

My ds started yesterday, wobbled off on his bike wearing his too-big blazer. Sob. A baby face in that grown up uniform. Today is his first proper day. So much to remember, quite daunting, all the exercise books in different colours and all at that weird games kit.

DS1(13)starts high school next week and has been in complete denial about it! He hates change and he is going to the one in the next town, however 3 of his friends are also going, so he won't be alone. They are going to travel there and back together.

He went to the induction day and they were told they get down to work straight after the third lesson - so not much of a settling down period.

My dd1 went to a friens Birthday Pary/ fancy dress disco with some of her mates last night. Some of the girls that were there will be going back to thier second year in scondary in Sep so (some nearly 13). That was scary. Seeing them in fancy dress and not in uniform, some of them looked so grown up..eekkkk.....my little dd has just turned 11 and look so young.

FWIW she is getting nervous too.

Hope he comes home smiling potoftea. My son, who starts next week, has been very excited about the prospect, but last night he went all quiet and introspective and then shed a tear or two - turns out he is worried after all.

I've just come back from dropping my ds 13 to his first day in secondary ( they start at age 12 or 13 here in Ireland).
He was slightly nervous, I was fine, he got out of the car, and I burst into tears! Kept picturing him as a baby, first day at primary school, etc. and couldn't stop the tears.
Quiet surprised with myself because he is not the best behaved child , and most times I feel if I could afford it, I'd send him to boarding school.

Can I join in here? My oldest son is starting secondary next week and I would like to have a regular thread to turn to if any problems arise.

I was just going to start a thread myself asking teachers what is the usual plan for Year 7s in the first week back, so I have some idea what to expect. I see on another thread that they do not start lessons the first day there for instance.

I have all of ds1's uniform except for his football socks. They were hard to get hold of in his size to begin with, then I found some last week and bought them but 2 days later, we could not find them! I think they must have fallen out of my bag on the way home. So now I am fretting that ds1 will get off to a bad start by not having all the right equipment! I know, I am worrying too much about it!

Well, maybe you have to "call his bluff" - if it's a case of his damaging your car, horrible as that would be, at least he'd be caught and punished- and he would be taken as a serious threat.

If you really are as worried as you seem, then I def. think you should talk to the police- he has actually made a threat to damage your property.

I can understand how you are worried, but you are allowing him to control things. It will only make him worse and other people might be on the receiving end of his violence in future.

No the boy is about 13. I do know what you are saying and I have always stood up for myself in the past both at work and in general life, but you hear some awful things nowadays and this kid seems to be out of control. I genuinely don't know what he is capable of doing.

I don't think you should be afraid of reprisals. Isn't this why the country has so many hooligans- because adults won't stand up to cheeky little so and so's?

Is the boy ELEVEN??!! He needs to be made to realise that adults will not stand for bullying- otherwise what kind of message does it send out to him if he gets away wth his threats?

I would still be proactive and tell the school before there are any issues, as they can keep aneye on things and also intervene with his parents in a way that keeps you out of it.

Thanks for your suggestions. I have talked to dd about the route to school. She does have to pass the end of his road to meet her friend. However there are lots of other kids going this way and I'm not sure that he will say anything in front of anybody else. The thought of going to the police is quite scary as I am ashamed to say that I am frightened of reprisals. I will definitely talk to the school if he does approach her at school and if he makes problems on the way to school.

my dd is going to secondary school in September. All she knows, is the building where she is going. She has no equipment list, so we can't buy any books. She has been chucked in the dustbin, aka the hauptschule, from which the only exit is special school, or for the successful, a hauptschule certificate at 16 years old, which qualifies you to work in a supermarket. Her problem? she scored low in the tests last year, not sure why because she knew the work. Whenever I checked her homework, I could never catch any concrete reason for her bad marks. I think she is just too immature to produce what they expect in a test situation.
dd is now totally unmotivated, says she hates books and school, and wishes she could stay at home. She has several times commented uneasily on not knowing her book list or her teacher for next year.

Just more crap from the Bavarian school system.

This is bullying and you can talk to the school in advance as it is a matter of definate concern to her schooling. Expect their input, they will have an anti bully policy, expect them to use it.
ok they may not do everything, but its much better than ignoring the problem, you may not be the only one, and anyway if hes the git you say he'll push them too far as well and get himself excluded.
Are they in the same class, how is she getting to/from school? Work out the logistics for her so she can trust in her safety during the day.Build up her confidence
(self defence classes,talking with other girls about personal safty in a positive setting). I dont expect her to fight him,but if she has greater self estime she can see him in his proper light, and he wont see her so much as the victim he hopes she is.
If anything happens to your property and you have told authorties about the threats then they "should"be in a better place to prosecute. Good Luck.

Imchangingmyname... I would go to the police if the boys parents are too scarey. But would try the parents first if there is any hope at all.

I once spoke to the mother of a boy who was bullying dd, and she thanked me for not making a problem in teh school.

def dont let the situation rest - it sounds awful for your dd.

I'mchangingmyname...

Have you thought of contacting the police to explain the threats this boy has made to your property?

It is not right that your daughter is being bullied in this way.

My child is completely unfazed. He is going into year 9, at 13+.

I'm hoping that he starts to show more emotion soon.

Just posted this thread on Teenagers and then read this and thought it might be better here.

My DD is due to start secondary school in September. However she is going to be going to a school with a boy who lives near us and has taken a dreadful dislike to her. He has told her that she is not allowed to go to the local park and that if she does he will come round and smash our cars up (a threat that I am afraid I take seriously). I am at my wits end and I know that there is no point me going to see him or his parents as he is a complete yob and I think the situation will just be made worse. At the moment she just does as he says and doesn't go to the park, but I am concerned that he is also going to bully her when she gets to school. It seems to me that this he has the right to own the area and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

yes, christy - agree with you there - it is so sad - his parents were very dignified and touching in what they were saying - and brave. It made me think of ds even though he doesn't go to secondary until next September.
I was thinking of all you mums facing it this term and hope all goes well for you xxxxx

I know this is a bit OT, but I was in floods (very unlike me) yesterday watching the news about the boy who was shot. His parents were talking about his uniform in the wardrobe etc for him to start secondary school. Reminded me of DS so much, it's so awful that something like this could happen.

Glad he enjoys it - he does sound good. It is an excellent sport for all round aerobic fitness and swimmers tend to develop lovely physiques . The birthday thing is a nuisence, but as they grow the disadvantage reduces and other things like age of puberty have a big effect too. December/Jan opens should boost his confidence.

Thanks Snorkle - the only reason I'd be bothered if he packed it in in a few years' time is that it's been such a positive experience for him - done heaps for his self-esteem - and it seems to work wonders for his Tourette's Syndrome (he's hardly ticcing at all at the moment) as the feel of the water/repetitive movements etc really help him calm down, not to mention giving him an outlet for all his excess energy. He's got a lousy birthday as far as winning things goes (late Jan) but very good for the end of year rankings! But he's been very philosophical about it - all the boys who beat him in the regionals were just about to turn 11 so he knows he's doing very well for his age. I just want him to carry on enjoying it for as long as he wants to - and hate the thought of him getting stressed out about something that up until now has been pure fun ... He's much happier today - he's been practising tying his new school tie, bless ...

Sounds as if it will be good - you're doing the right thing getting ahead with the planning. Good luck!

Geography - it's only part time but it's a good school (well as good as any)much nicer than my last one, I know my head of Department fairly well and dd2 is starting school so I need to do something with my time.

But it's still a bit nerve wracking

Lucycat - I'd be nervous too . I'm sure you'll be fine & enjoy it. What is your subject?