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How far would you/do you drive your teens to school

30 replies

catswhisker1 · 04/11/2019 13:24

Considering buying a house in a rural town out of secondary school catchment that DC 12 and 14 are at. It's a lovely house with loads of space and cheap. Much nicer than the house we currently own!

However they would not be on bus route and we would have to take them every day (10 miles there and back but no traffic in general - it's a very rural area). Work from home so no problem for jobs etc.

I don't want to move them to the other secondary in the catchment of the new school as they are settled and it's not a good school. School they are at now would be happy to keep them.

Does anyone drive their teens to school every day? How long is your drive and do you get sick of it?!

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BlouseAndSkirt · 07/11/2019 20:56

I wouldn’t live anywhere where teens had to be driven to and from school.

Couldn’t have my work and wider life built round ferrying teens to and from school. Bad for the environment, their social life would also presumably rely on me being a taxi, making them less independent.

I just don’t think teens should be sitting in cars being driven about for significant time every day, and especially if I have to to it as a return journey.

Witchend · 07/11/2019 17:56

I drive. It's about 15-20 minutes in rush hour, but half that out of it. However I drop on the way to my work and pick up on the way back. It would be very different if I was doing a special journey each time.

titchy · 07/11/2019 13:50

It doesn't sound like the right time for a move. Just as your dc are at an age where they need to be more independent, you'd be making them more dependent.

historysock · 07/11/2019 13:38

I drive mine to school every day-twenty minute journey including traffic. I live rurally and although there is a bus it comes at a useless time and would involve a long walk for them at the other end. On my work days it's fine, as I just go on to work from drop off, on days off it's a bit annoying but it means I get up and don't waste the morning in bed I suppose!
You just get used to the increased driving when you move to the country-though occasionally it can be a colossal pain. You just have to plan a little bit more in terms of arranging drop offs and pick ups for different kids so they match up etc...

PandaandCat · 07/11/2019 12:05

Mine walk but know people who do this. Can be an issue for friendships though.

LeighVitoff · 07/11/2019 11:58

I have two dc at high school, about 9 miles / 15- 20 min each way.
One afternoon a week DS has a club he does that keeps him there till after 4 pm but DD finishes at just after 3pm. I told DD that it was too much to come for her at 3, come home then set back off for DS so sometimes she goes to the library to do her homework and Sometimes she goes and sits by the sidelines and watches ds do his sport. She's not bothered and understands. She knows she has a clear hour to get on top of her homework if need be without having the distractions of home and having somewhere more exciting to be.

Seeline · 07/11/2019 11:48

I agree the problems arise when one needs to stay late and hte other doesn't. It's a bit unfait to make the other one hang round - even if they can do homework in the library, it's not their fault they can't make their own way home.

Also I agree that at those ages, social life is really beginning to kick off. Presumably most of their friends live near your current home, and their social activities are based in the nearest town. Will you be willing to transport them both there and back again on different evenings and weekends.? It's a bit unfair to make the move if you're not.

RightToElectronics · 07/11/2019 11:16

It's not dead time - you get to hear about their day etc - but you personally end up very tethered to doing it every single day .

aintnothinbutagstring · 07/11/2019 09:58

Do check the actual traffic in peak times and how many routes there are to the school, if your usual one is blocked or roadworks. Lots of people move out from our expensive city into the surrounding villages once the DC have a place in the 'good' schools our city has, but I don't envy their commute into town, particularly one of the villages only has one route and it's gridlocked in peak times (which in the afternoon is anytime from 2.45).

TreePeepingWatcher · 06/11/2019 18:28

I am a SAHM and we moved for a secondary school but kept the children in their outstanding primary. I did that school run for 7 years.

Fast forward to secondary, only 1.2 mile away so both children walked. But I do collect them from after school clubs or if it is raining. Ds2 is doing 2 after school clubs one of which finishes at 5pm. Ds1 is now year 12 but year 11 had a lot of compulsory revision sessions, which meant, Ds2 left at the normal time and Ds1 and hour later.

I am available to do this double run when needed because I don't have work to juggle. Ds1 is now in sixth form and I collect him from that because it is much further away, a 45 minute walk and down a busy dual carriage way and no cycle path. Buses are available but lots of bug queues and he finishes at all different times due to his free periods.

Re socialising, even with school a mere 1.2 mile away his mates all live on the other side of the school and are a 45 minute walk away from our house. But they mainly "meet up" using headsets and computer games Grin although they have all walked here and played board games here on weekends for hours on end which was lovely.

If your job will allow you to work form home and you are happy to do the school run which is double the amount of time for you for driving there and back, then do it.

nonicknameseemsavailable · 06/11/2019 12:31

I lived in a small village as a child and went to school 15 miles away. in primary we did a car share with other families in the village and in secondary we could get the train with walking at each end.

It is perfectly doable but frankly it is a pain. We never had after school stuff at school as almost everyone had a long journey but we were going out at 7:15 in the morning and not getting home until 5 so it was annoying. socialising was very difficult so I ended up never going out and rarely seeing friends outside of school.

as a parent now would I do it? probably not but you know if it is doable for you. just make sure there is a back up plan for if your car breaks down or you are ill etc.

TheSandman · 05/11/2019 00:19

My kids get one free ride to school a week. After that I make them pay. The school is 9 miles away along narrow mountain roads... and we live on the bus route.

The bus stops is across the road from our house.

Getting them on the the thing in the morning is always a fraught, last moment affair. If they miss the bugger twice in a week they pay for the privilege of sitting sullenly in the back of the car while my wife or I drive them. One of them's old enough to vote for crying out loud and both of them have jobs. How difficult is it to catch a scheduled bus that - more often than not runs late anyway?!

marmiteloversunite · 05/11/2019 00:05

I did it for ten years. Same sort of distance. The pros were spending time with the D.C. and hearing about their days. The cons were expensive petrol/wear and tear on car, waiting around with one child whilst the other had an after school activity, when they forgot something important, the car being a mobile wardrobe and food van, the time spent every day driving.

Also as an aside please check your wifi if you need it to work from home. We were rural and it would have been impossible to run a business with the connection we had.

clary · 04/11/2019 23:50

You don't say btw where you live now - similarly small town, big city? - but bear in mind that at 12 and 14 they are at the age where they are going out with mates and want to be independent, which sounds as if it will be difficult in a rural area with no transport.

I grew up in a small village some distance from the small town where I went to school and, well, put it this way, my experiences by age 18 were very far removed from those of my DC, growing up in a city. And not in a good way. Worth bearing in mind.

clary · 04/11/2019 23:46

What about dropping them a mile or so away so they get a bit of exercise and can walk with more local friends? Also would avoid the wait for school drop off a pp mentions.

BubblesBuddy · 04/11/2019 22:55

Is it not possible to drive to a bus route? Instead of all the way? However 10 miles isn’t that far in a rural area.

SuperficialSuzie · 04/11/2019 22:03

8 mile journey, takes 15 minutes outside rush hour, one junction on dual carriageway so not walkable / cycleable, in rush hour it is about 30+ minutes.

PocketDictionary · 04/11/2019 21:58

Used to do 10 miles. Worst queuing was actual drop off at the school. Allowed 40 mins in morning rush hour & usually only took 25 mins to get home.

Didn't get sick of it as would chat and often needed to take to a sports club after school anyway.

HouseOfGoldandBones · 04/11/2019 21:58

DS goes to private school, so the catchment area is huge.

It takes, on average, 45 minutes in the morning & 30 minutes at home time.

I enjoy the time with DS as it gives us a chance to have a good chat with no distractions.

We do revision on the way home usually (it saves the time at home, so he gets a bit of time on his PS4 after his other revision)

actiongirl1978 · 04/11/2019 21:56

My children are at school 14 miles from home. 23 mins each way (allowing for tractors - so occasionally 24 mins)Grin
Add another round trip on parents evening days/concerts/matches.
I don't think about it now, been doing it for 5 years.

TheBrockmans · 04/11/2019 21:54

I drop dd most days due to health issues rather than distance. I drop her early to fit in with ds school run and pick her up slightly later to avoid traffic. I would say that there is a big difference between dropping off at 8am and 8.20am. If they can be persuaded to be at school for 8, maybe go to the library to do some work and collect at 4 (after school rush but before work rush hour) then it is easier.

twoheaped · 04/11/2019 21:54

I used to do 35 miles each way from yr9-11 and yr4-6 when we moved but thought it best for the eldest to see her GCSE's out.

It was okay. If the kids were tired, they'd have a nap in the car on the way home.

Theworldisfullofgs · 04/11/2019 21:49

I live rurally. Have to drive 12 mins every morning and eve (if no traffic) which there isn't (90%) most of time to take to station, where they go on from there. It's not that unusual here.

lljkk · 04/11/2019 21:48

Gosh I thought you were gonna say it was at least 15 miles each way.
I wouldn't do 5 miles even, but I know plenty that do 15 miles each way, daily.

woodlands01 · 04/11/2019 21:44

School run sounds doable. The potential issues are will both want picking up after school at same or different times? You may have a double pick up required. Also, the impact of being rural and away from their friends. We are similar but they bus to and from school. However I have done my fair share of picking up from after school sessions and (later years) revision sessions. Bigger impact now (16 & 18) is their need to socialise and the taxi service that requires! Together with the worry of drinking and drugs when they are 10 miles away - weekends one of parents needs to be able to drive when they are out and about.

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