Secondary school - school run

My DS just started secondary, I walk him to school and back but am the only parent I’ve seen doing this (except in the first week).

DS has SEN which is why I walk with him, if he didn’t he would be going on his own. Many children are dropped off/collected but by car not on foot.
I must admit that I’m quite horrified at the lack of road sense many of the children have, especially when they are walking in groups. So many seem to walk out into small side roads without looking properly, but they cope much better with crossing more main roads.

Ps my kids changed school in year 6 (weird school system here) and took buses or cycled 3 miles each way. Parenting means gradually getting them independent so by 16 they are basically self sufficient travel wise

Yes they do, by year 5 many go to school alone ... in many countries they go alone even younger.

I caught 2 buses and a long walk when I was 11. Stop babying your child, allow him to grow up.

DD walked alone from day 2 of year 7 but that’s because I really don’t care about her very much. I prefer DS so I will take him once he starts starts next year

Unless they have SN you can't really have prepared them properly if they can't manage to get to school and back at 11.

Safety means a lot of things, including an NT 11 years old being get from A to B independently.

Is there anything in particular about the journey that's worrying you? Is there anything you can practice with him in advance?

They want to. Children should have time where they are with their peers without adults overseeing them and the journey to school is an ideal way of that happening.

Yes parents care about their children's safety. They also care about their independence.

All my DC took themselves to and from school by year 6, like the vast majority of kids in their junior school. Dd and Ds2 walked by themselves or with a friend earlier than that actually. Ds1 who has SN was a bit more wary but at the start of yr 6 asked to walk with a friend.

I got myself to school and back from the age of five, with my two years older sister at first. Pretty sure my parents cared about me too.

IMO if your 11yo cannot negotiate a school bus or a 20-30 minute walk with some mates there's a bit of an issue.

It all depends on the distance/ route and availability of public transport. Not all children go to the local school. Our ds will start year 7 next September but the school is completely the other side of town, way too far to walk and would involve at least two buses (and they aren’t always reliable). We haven’t actually worked out how he’s going to get there yet! It may mean a lift for most of the way then a 20 minute walk.

Won’t your y7 child be embarrassed to be taken to school by his mummy?

@TeenPlusTwenties that doesn't involve their precious darlings right into the school and doing the same on the return. And giving they're dropping them at 8:30 and picking them up at 3:30 I'd love to know what they all do for a living!

There might be a few who do that but for many (and I know these parents) it's not letting go. It's very sad as they're doing them no favours for the future.

Mine get one bus with their friends who travel with them. Struggling to see the problem

My ds is now in sixth form but when he started secondary school age 11 he had to get 2 buses there and 2 buses back every day. He has Aspergers and anxiety and we practiced a few times during the school holidays. It was nerve wracking for me but he is a very independent boy and part of that was travelling alone from a young age.

Today’s he has travelled over 300 miles to a football game at the other end of the country with his friend who has never been allowed to go before. I’m so glad my ds started young because it’s not a big deal now.

Aren't parents concerned about their safety?

No, we don’t give a shit.

Get a grip of yourself and let your child grow up. Mine were going to and from school themselves in primary school and they get to go out to the shops and stuff themselves too. They’ve got to learn to be independent. It’s parents like you who are contributing to there being a generation of namby pamby pampered teenagers who can barely wipe their arse without help. I’d be embarrassed to have raised an 11/12 year old I couldn’t let go out and about on their own.

It's fairly standard for secondary pupils to make their own way unless they live rurally, have SEND needs or medical issues or are travelling long distances.

Some parents mollycoddle their children. Look at how many threads on here show parents not wanting their children to play out, can't walk to their friend's house alone, can't go to the shop alone, must be driven door to door etc. Then they wonder why their child hasn't got life skills and independence.

I was walking to and from school alone from 9ish and that's standard around here too (except for the school run types who would rather park up 30 mins before the end of the day to ensure they get parked as close to school as possible, I wonder if that's a sign of an empty life as who else would have hours a week to spend on that).

Hundreds of parents insist on dropping kids off at the gate of my school, it's a nightmare, pollution, congestion and so unnecessary. Your job as a parent is to raise kids to become independent adults, kids need to be given progressively more freedom, responsibility and independence, most 11 year olds are well able to cross a road. We do them no favours by wrapping them in cotton wool.

Lots of kids still get a lift. My DD gets dropped off by DH as it's on his way to work, and then makes her own way home.

My Y7 son has ASD/ ADHD so I was really worried about how he would manage the tube journey too and from school.
I started by letting him walk home from school alone in Y6 and then progressed to letting him go to school alone as well. We didn't live far from his primary and I had other parents reporting back to me if they saw him doing anything silly.
Before he started Y7, we did the journey together a few times and then I got his older sister to trail him while he did it alone.
The first day of school I was terrified but he made it there and back and now he's a pro.
He's left a few things on the tube and missed his stop a couple of times- luckily I had gone through What To Do with him before hand!
But he has coped okay and I'm sure your son will too- if you let him.

My daughters travelled independently to secondary from the beginning of year 7. Journey involved two trains. I was a bit worried about the older one as she was so young (summer birthday), but it was absolutely fine.

Ds(15) grew up so much in the summer before starting secondary. During the holidays he and his local friends started getting buses, or cycling for miles around town to meet new friends of friends from other primary schools that were going to the same secondary. They would then spend days out together, go for food together and then come home in the evening.

Getting the bus to school after all that was nothing!

When are you going to let him? I’ve met 14 year olds who haven’t been allowed to do so which is crazy. DS gets train to school by himself - it’s been v good for him. We knew that would be the case though so worked through year 5 and 6 to give him the skills and confidence.

Well I imagine it depends on the area/ the route.

But round here this is very common from Year 5, so by Year 7 children are old pros at it (actually my children had a longer and more complicated route to junior school than they do to secondary school).

I think a lot of parents do (consciously or unconsciously) baby their children. Back in the day, I walked to school alone from age 7. Yes, times have changed, but it's ridiculous to think that children can't now manage it at age 11.

It’s not really a big deal is it. If you want to drive your son to secondary school then do it. But you are going to have to drive as if you walk him then he is going to get the piss taken out of him. For a lot of parents we need them to be self sufficient so we can get back to more normal working hours and keep our heads afloat. Personally my son can’t wait to get to school by himself. He’s do it now if I let him
And only don’t as I have to pick his sister up
Anyway.