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Secondary education

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VG state secondary or VG public school?

29 replies

Anotherskoolquestion · 16/10/2019 14:30

After years of aggro re: schools, we have the luxury of this choice.

DC in second year of a very, very good state secondary, one of those ones people say 'wow' when you tell them where, as it's so sought after, and very happy there, doing well in everything, prefect etc.

They have also been offered a place at one of the best boarding schools in the country with a bursary. But it would be a real financial struggle. We also have another child who we would have to do the same for.

One friend says to me never move a happy child. DC is so happy where they are. And we would have to seriously cut back financially, even with a bursary, to afford the boarding school. I mean, we would have a real problem I think.

But DC is quite shy and I wonder if this school might help them become more confident and give them that private school polish that you just do get at an establishment like this one. I don't mean that in a snobby way, more in a being confident helps you achieve more in life way.

I think I know the answer. I think we leave DC where they are and count our blessings. But I wanted to put it out there to see if anyone else had been in the same boat, or if anyone had any words of wisdom.

Sorry to be vague but don't want to out myself to a couple of people who are on here.

Thank you

OP posts:
Anotherskoolquestion · 16/10/2019 14:46

Oh gosh thank you all so much. Your replies are SO helpful and really what I was after, I think. Thank you.

DC wants to stay put. Not averse to the other school, and likes the look of it, but says I'm really happy where I am, I don't want to move.

Thank you all. I really appreciate your advice. Thank you

OP posts:
AuntImmortelle · 16/10/2019 14:43

No no no do not move them IMO.

and very happy there, doing well in everything, prefect etc.

Your own words there. I really do believe you shouldn't move a happy child. When they're happy they learn. You've no idea how they'll settle in a boarding school. They could be incredibly disrupted and miserable. That won't help the shyness you perceive. And 'private school polish' is not about where they went making them like that - it is about esteem and confidence. And a happy person usually as both of those.

QuaterMiss · 16/10/2019 14:43

How does your child feel about it? Presumably (to have got to this stage) they have willingly gone through the application process for the independent school. And presumably you’ve gone through the bursary process?

Was the bursary offered smaller than you would have hoped? They’re supposed to make your lives better all round, not put you in a position where you’re worse off and struggling.

I’m really not sure that some vague hope of extra ‘polish’ is a sufficiently strong justification when it seems likely your child will thrive and do well academically at their current school.

TeenPlusTwenties · 16/10/2019 14:33

I'd say leave them where they are, and save your money for additional tutoring if needed / university / house deposit. They're at a great school where they are happy, why risk it?