Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

How do you keep on top of who's doing what where and when?

41 replies

7salmonswimming · 10/10/2019 18:59

Blatantly not an AIBU, I know you lot come here more than anywhere else Grin

I am so, so, so, so, so fed up of the " but you didn't tell me you were going out", "I didn't know she doesn't have karate today!!", "I told you 3 months ago I had a work trip next week" arguments.

We have:

  • my paper diary which is the master diary. It sits on my desk at home 24/7, and contains everything I need to do, the kids need to do, family holidays, memorable things DH needs to do (hardly anything), plus everything he tells me (which isn't everything, and never any amendments)
  • month-to-a-page calendar on the fridge: kids' extra-curricular stuff, days off school, birthday parties, other birthdays to note, family holidays, and when he remembers to put them there DH's work trips (but he'll sneak them on and not tell me he's updated it). Neither of us look at this every day
  • DH's work diary, which is chockablock every day, changes every day, and contains last minute travel stuff (he goes somewhere at least once every 3 weeks, for a day to a week at a time)
  • we text all bloody day about plans for that day and next week and next month. I put what I can in my master diary, but stuff changes and then we have the "but I sent you a text on Wednesday telling you it had changed" discussion

WE. CAN'T. STOP. ARGUING.

We've tried a shared online diary: it doesn't synch with his work because of IT security.

He's tried to make his work travel arrangements come to my email automatically: I refuse to be his PA, I've got enough on my plate as it is, all he needs to do is tell me shit

We've tried using just my diary: he can't read my writing, I can't read his

We've tried using the fridge calendar for everything: it's too fucking small to fit everything on, and anything big enough would frankly need to be bigger than the fridge.

I don't want to a great big bloody white board up on the wall, it would ruin the aesthetic of my home Blush

HELLLLLLPPPPPPP UUUUUUSSSSS!!!!

OP posts:
ListeningQuietly · 10/10/2019 22:44

google calendar here
one colour per person plus one for family stuff

elfonshelf · 10/10/2019 22:32

Colour-coded google calendar - individual ones for each of us plus a shared family one.

If I specifically need DH to participate then I "invite" him as well as adding it to the family calendar.

If it's something one of us needs the other to do that isn't the norm - ie I need DH pick up DD from school and take to ballet class, then I add a note with full instructions and travel times.

Separate bags for each activity that are packed straight from the laundry and all live by the front door so they are always ready and can be grabbed on the way out the front door.

And... it still goes awry!

Anyone with more than one kid who has a load of extra-curricular activities gets sainthood and medals in my mind.

Lotsalotsagiggles · 10/10/2019 22:28

We use time tree app

Both have in our phones and can in out and view at any time

If it's not on the app then it's not allowed and can only add something in if the other person hasn't booked something first

Hubby works abroad a lot, I manage a big team and travel too and we have a toddler

All our work movements, childcare, friends and family stuff all in one place and can add things in seconds

Soooo much easier

Anytime anyone adds something comes up on newsfeed but adds to diary too

Can see deletions too

How do you keep on top of who's doing what where and when?
Teachermaths · 10/10/2019 22:22

Google calendar on our phones.

Reminders, colour coded and generally wonderful.

Ohnononono · 10/10/2019 22:22

We use a shared Google calendar on the phones.
I found a paper diary didn’t work because I wouldn’t have it on me when I needed it, and DH was always messaging me to check it, which was too much hassle for me.
The google calendar can have a few separate diaries in it, and DH just adds his relevant work events to his (so if he has a late meeting for example, but not his day to day work stuff).
I add in all the kids events and activities (which can be recurring events so you only need to enter them once!)
I look at it every morning to see what is going on that day.
It’s has made life a lot easier.

PaquitaVariation · 10/10/2019 22:13

We just use Google calendar. It can be set up with separate ones for each family member to look after their own but you can see everyone else’s. And it’s all colour coded. And it automatically transfers things from your emails too.

MissNorma · 10/10/2019 22:01

I agree synced calenda on your phone is easier. YOu alway have it on you so any appmts can go in there straight away, and you can set reminders.

TerrifiedandWorried · 10/10/2019 21:59

We use the famcal app. Everyone has it on their phone and if it's not in famcal it doesn't happen.

AveEldon · 10/10/2019 21:56

We have a week planner on the fridge.

Kawasaki · 10/10/2019 21:53

Have you tried to sync a calendar between phones? It works for all of us (3 phones - my DD's, my DH's and my one). We all create an event if there is one and choose to remind us daily at 6.30 am when we are all up in the morning. You can also set up a reminder 10 or 15 minutes before the event happens.
We also have weekly discussion to highlight some main/important events.
Hope this helps.

Original poster
7salmonswimming · 10/10/2019 19:35

I’m liking the shared online family diary @paquitavariation. Can you tell me what you use please?

I’m also liking the week to a page paper version in the kitchen - although I’d have to hide it when the MIL comes over. She’s not above looking through our stuff Angry

OP posts:
PaquitaVariation · 10/10/2019 19:17

I have a paper diary that has my work and the family stuff in (the things I know about) so that I can work my work appointments around anything that needs me to be there. We also have a shared family diary online which DH transfers any work trips etc into and if it’s not in there and it clashes with something I’m doing, then it’s up to him to sort out arrangements for the kids etc. I’ve given up arguing about it, I’m not his PA or the babysitter, so the rules are whoever is in the diary first has priority.

Oblomov19 · 10/10/2019 19:12

Agree. Go for a week planner. On the fridge.

Discuss on Sunday what is coming up that week, ie check from Dh's phone etc, to see if the weekly fridge one needs updating.

fedup21 · 10/10/2019 19:07

Week to a page planner in the kitchen on the side. If it’s not written in there, it doesn’t exist. The more detail the better...

For those who watched Outnumbered, think ‘Pete 10!’

TeenPlusTwenties · 10/10/2019 19:06

(Our life isn't as complicated as your life sounds though.)

TeenPlusTwenties · 10/10/2019 19:04

We have a family organiser calendar in the hall.
if it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist.
If one of the DCs has something non regular that needs lifts that is put against the adult who will do the lifts as well.
Try to have a weekly discussion about what is coming up that week.

Swipe left for the next trending thread