How do you keep on top of who's doing what where and when?

I put everything into a family Google calander, which no one else bothers to look at.

The dcs are very good at remembering the regular stuff - school stuff, music, sport etc. I just put in an anything different (concerts, open evenings etc).

DH cannot think about more than one thing at once. If he is thinking about work, he cannot remember anything else.

I therefore do not rely on him to remember anything, otherwise he double books.

I arrange everything on the basis that, if he remembers to help, great. If not, I always have a plan B.

We literally nearly split up over this when DS1 was a baby. He accused me of nagging. In the end, I made peace with the realisation that he just can't do it, so I don't ask any more.

And, yes, I am knackered!

Every single appointment goes in the calendar app which is synced with all members of the fam. Each appointment is set with 24 notice so it tells everyone what is happening the next day and a warning for the time we need to leave. No excuses it is there for everyone to see. Term dates, MOT, Insurance renewals, Pay days, hospital/doctor appointments, school events, birthdays, anniversaries, the entire lot. It saves my brain!

If I just tried to remember everything I would never sleep. Put it in Google calendar or Keep = out of my head and no need to worry.

My forward diary has well over 150 entries in it through till this time next year
it would be stupid of me not to organise it

• term dates, bank holidays, car MOTs, insurances, dentist
• work, exams, sports

I just remember everything. I never write anything down. One this will come back and bite me massively on the arse, I’m sure. But so far, so good.

Shared, colour-coded google calendar on phones (with early / late work events and trips added manually, as work calendars won’t sync for security reasons)

PLUS

Sunday evening talk through diary, ironing out issues and doing deals on who does what (no matter how much we’d rather not bother)

PLUS

Sunday evening confirmatory texts / emails to anyone else involved that week (grandparents, childminder, play date mums)

PLUS

Ensuring appointments include all the necessary information (eg X drop DD2 at ballet, Y will pick up and take to Y’s house for tea, pick up by Z at whatever o’clock - with details like Y’s address and phone number in the added info bit of the calendar).

I agree with Backforgood, you have to sit down once a week and go through it, whatever method you have. We tried doing shared calendars but it seemed to cause more trouble because people would put in clashing appointments and not discuss who was responsible for what.

We do diaries on a minimum on a Sunday night but often one more night in the week as well. We also do anything banking related and the weekly meal plan (once we know who is in and out) and online shop all at the same time.

I just try and remember everything!
I'm crap remembering to use calendars and apps etc but not too bad at remembering stuff that's going on.

I take pictures of all the kids letters, invitations etc on my phone so they can be referred to,

DH works away every week so will often message me with things like 'going for a curry with Footie lads on 28th Nov' I screenshot and save.

We're signed up for text reminders at Dr’s, Dentist, Pharmacy, hairdressers, beauty salon, if there's any service we use which doesn't offer this then I set a reminder on my phone when an appointment is booked.

There's a calendar in the playroom with family birthdays on but that and checking the date are all it's used for really.

Week to a page calender in the kitchenon the wall next to the table we eat at. A column for every person. Dh is rubbish at putting stuff on but I just keep repeating If its not on the calendar it doesn't exist.

Family calender in the dining area. Everyone writes on their own line including when homework is due. Works well and everyone can see it

Great big bloody whiteboard works for us and has made the whole family calmer. But the main thing is we also committed to collectively updating it every Sunday evening.

It doesn't matter what the system is, as long as there is one, easily understood system and everyone recognises the importance of keeping it up to date.

Shared calendar on iPhones. Colour coordinated so we know if it is just DH or all of us or just one of the family.

DH just adds work related ones which are outside normal working hours like late meetings or trips, no one is interested in daytime meetings.

If something is not on it, bad luck. It is the person whose appointment it is, who has the responsibility to put it on.

We also have a monthly paper one for DD’s stuff, all her homework goes on it plus trips and hobbies. That is so she can see when she has to do which homework to ensure it is finished on time.

Paper diary is pointless as it would mean I have to carry it around all the time.

Neither of us look at this every day

It does sound as if most of the details are on the fridge calendar but for some reason you don't actually check it. You don't want so many methods to update, pick one whether it is on the fridge or online and stick to it.

If you have recurring weekly activities then just have them on one sheet of paper - Monday 6.30pm advanced diary management - and put the other stuff like birthdays and work trips on the fridge calendar.

Saying you can't read each other's writing - is there a possibility that the whole subject is becoming so fraught that you are both digging in a bit on your positions on this, I can absolutely understand your frustration but saying you can't read each other's writing sound like a standoff!

TimeTree, but I tend to rely more on my airy (the appallingly named but very well laid out Mom's Diary

Tell you DH to update it every evening as he leaves work (if he can't do it during the day as changes happen). It's not really a problem in your system, but there is one of a bit of blinkered laziness fron your DH

Weekly planner in the kitchen.

I send them Google calendar requests and can access both DDs emails and calendars.

I say to my DD 'what are your plans?' She says x, y,z. I say great 'let me know if you need anything ' she says 'fine'. No diary required. She sorts herself out.

We have a shared online family diary which everyone can access on their iPhone. It syncs to Alexa so we have an Alexa show in the kitchen which tells us what is happening that day automatically and further into the week /month if you ask Alexa. It works well so long as everyone keeps it up to date which is true of any diary.
You have just reminded me I have lots to add so off to do that now 😀

Google calendar. I do the admin so I pick the platform. DH's travel arrangements come with a Google add in so hotels, flight numbers and timesget added.

We use Google Calendar and share our calendars with each other/invite the others to appointments. If your husband can't synch his work calendar with whatever online calendar you choose, it honestly doesn't take two secs to add events manually to your personal calendar when you accept them in your work one, you don't need to put anything sensitive in it (I do this so I can use Tasker to silence my phone when in meetings) - or look into Microsoft Flow or IFTTT to automate the calendar synch.

We have a shared iCal, colour coded for everyone - any work things likely to effect the other person get put in there. We also go through calendar for the week on a Sunday too.

When our dc were younger / too young to be left / needed taking places / needed us to support them more, then we'd also sit down each week (usually over Sunday evening meal) , and go through who was where, when, and how Child A was getting to X whilst child B needed picking up from Y, etc.

Ps I don’t have time to do anything other than work and look after the kids so no need for an extracurricular diary for me

My own work diary on my phone. Important kids things go in there.

Paper weekly schedule by term of the kids extra curricular stuff up on the fridge and in each of their bedrooms so they know what they have the next day (and I do as I tend to check their bags!).

I don’t need to bother with my partners diary because we aren’t together. If he or I are going away with work for a few days we just tell each other in advance.

We use a shared google calendar on our phones too. Makes it much easier as it updates as soon as you put it in - you don't end up with both arranging to to be somewhere on the same day without knowing the other has also arranged something.
If either one of us hasn't put it in the calendar, then it is their mess to sort out. That was the rule always though - back in the days of the paper 'family calendar'. All adults have to take responsibility for putting their movements on the family calendar, during the years when one adult not being there affects the movements of the other adult.

If you both made an effort to write legibly in your master paper diary it should work. Seems the easiest solution .