My daughter passed the 11+. Thank you for the advice.

wingdefence I understand your point. My ds will be affected if his friends pass and he does not. Two are super bright so I have no doubts at all.

Thanks @Faith50. Re: you question above about preparing children who don't get in to face their peers at school, because it is not a county-wide scheme where we live, only two children in DS's year actually sat an exam so it isn't as big a deal. I know he would have felt very upset personally, not because of 'failing' the exam but because it's the school he preferred above the others, but I would hope that if lots of them sit it at your DS's school, then lots of them won't get places and will be in it together, if you know what I mean?

Congratulations wingdefence

@mumof32015 I have just heard that my DS got into the boys' school so I suspect our DCs will cross paths over the next few years

I'm bouncing around!

Congratulations mumof32015
I am so happy to see the parents whose children got into the grammar school. What a brilliant news.

mumof32 How thoughtful of your daughter to consider the feelings of her peers. I agree that we do not get what we want as children or adults. As much as I want every door to open for my child, I know it will not. They need to be equipped to deal with disappointment. I struggled badly with disappointment as a child and even in adulthood. I saw my failures as being a part of me.

Grandjany you are talking about independent schools, this thread is about state schools. Maybe start your own thread?

My main concern is managing my daughter’s expectations: I don’t want her applying for a school she hasn’t got a chance of getting in to. I’m worried that we don’t get enough guidance from the school on what are appropriate applications. Besides that there are all the application fees! How many should we apply to?

In my area you get a score, but no pass/fail, just wait till March to see if you get a place. You can of course guess your chances based on last years scores but its rubbish for borderline kids.

One of my DC scored below what we thought would be needed to get in, the other scored stupidly high, we took the same approach with both. "Just tell your friends you are happy with your score because you did your best, you are waiting to see what school you go to".

Of course after one playtime everyone seems to know what everyone else got anyway...

Hi, I’m just wondering how we assess our daughters for 11+ application. The London school my daughter goes to is non selective so the only feedback I get is the report which says she is very academic and the stanine level on assessments. What sort of academic level is required for the top girls day schools? Also, does anyone have any idea what music grade qualifies for a scholarship in these places.?

There will be plenty of other children at school who didn’t make the grade too. They all talk about it for one day but it’s quickly forgotten and on the whole the kids are great at being supportive of each other regardless of outcome.

It’s only ever usually an issue if the child has set their heart on going to a grammar school or if best friends will be split up. It’s honestly far worse for the parents to be honest, especially when they have spent ££££ tutoring.

We are just on the border of Bucks (a Bucks grammar is actually our closest school despite being in Herts). DD has sat it but we know we are out of catchment and even county so even if she does pass there’s no certainty of a place. I just can’t get myself wound up about it as a result and have got DD into the same mindset. If she doesn’t pass then it’s simply not the right school for her. Staunch anti tutoring policy in our household. I know she’s at a disadvantage as a result but if she’s meant to pass then she will.

mumof32 there will be a lot of distraught parents and children. It seems wrong that children will have to go to school and hear who was recommended and who was not. They are only 10 and 11 years old.

If ds is recommended we will advise he only discloses at school if asked. If he is not recommended I do not know how we will prepare him to face his peers at school.

Does anyone have any advice, particularly parents who have been through this before?

magnaconcordia Congratulations to your son! You must be so proud.

Great idea to go for treats regardless of result. Lots of people like to give a reward or treat just after the exam, so the effort, not the result is rewarded too. It's important isn't it, that even if as parents we are disappointed, we protect our children from that when they have fgiven of their best.

Glad to hear MN was a help to your family preparing.

Congratulations! We are still waiting for results xx Hope your daughter likes her new school xx

I would not opt for a super selective for ds. He is not highly academic. I am anxious about next week's 11+ results and avoiding discussing with ds. He is worried we will be disappointed if he does not pass. I plan to take him out for ice-cream regardless of his result.

Many congratulations to your dd and well done to you in helping her with the preparation. I've been doing the same - my daughter sits hers on Saturday this week and it is for a super selective. I've tried my best to help her - and she has worked so hard...but a super selective is so hard to get into - so let's see. Again op - well done x

Morning OP - well done to your DD! Your county system sounds the same as in mine but I'm waiting for a boys' school so I don't think we're in the same place.
I have a relative whose DD sat the 11+ in Bucks and I didn't realise until just beforehand that all the children sit it in their own schools and it is administered by the LA whereas in my county we have to apply to each individual school and sit it there, even though all the exams are the same. Much more pressure I think!

Congratulations, OP.

Not grammar but DS applied for a scholarship place offered via aptitude test. He scored the highest mark so ranked first on their list. Like OP, we received an email notifying the result and that the place would be guaranteed as long as we put the school as our first choice on the form. So very similar to OP's case. I don't think all the children who were given a guaranteed place took the offer (we didn't) so the school would just go down the ranking list until they filled the scholarship places.

@underneaththeash - obviously we had to apply too, but the letter we were sent guaranted dd a place... and some dd who didn't pass got in on appeal in her year too.

Were the people you knew who didn't get in from out of country/catchment?

Perhaps it depends how strong a year it is and how kids do on the 11 plus.

OP, check your school's admission policies for clarification. Sounds like it's different round the UK. But school places are decided by the county council, not by schools.

@bookwormsforever - no you have to apply and I personally know a couple of people who didn't get in first round.

OP - congrats to your daughter.