Any advice re screen time fir year 11s and how to keep the noses of lazy but bright kids to the grindstone without making them stressed about GCSEs? [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

Alpen That's fine for a 'bright but lazy' that is doing something. Probably not so much for an 'average but lazy' who is doing sod all.
Plus there is no way your son really knows how much work he needs to do to get 7s... And you might not be 'micromanaging' revision, but you have taken steps to facilitate it by removing the xbox.
Some would call that managing him too.

We all do what we feel is right for our particular children.

I find the micro managing of revision suggestions a bit shocking tbh.

DS brightbutlazy needs all 7s min to stay in sixth firm with mates

We've taken away Xbox and he only gets it one night at the weekend currently

The rest is up to him. He will allow zero input or interference from us, closes down if we ask re revision etc

I buy him what he needs, lever arch files, revision cards etc

I suspect he's calculated the minimum he can do to get a 7

This sounds so much like both my dcs, especially the younger one. It's not much help to hear that some children are so mature that they can self-regulate their screen time and get brilliant grades without much push from parents, and not sure why there is criticism for needing to have more control on these issues when we all know that children grow up at different rates.

FWIW here are a few things that have worked (a bit) for me:

Screen-free evenings witih everyone in the family joining in. We do this one evening during the week, depends on homework timetable. Last year we did Monday, this year we're doing Friday. I think it just gives them a break from being online all the time & helps them learn to fall back on other resources to entertain themselves. It does cause a fair bit of moaning in our house too, but I think the benefits outweight that.

Handing in all screens an hour before bedtime.

Tightly supervised homework. I know you say your home is very busy OP, but is there any way you could schedule even an hour or two a week when your ds could work quietly downstairs e.g. if your other dcs have evening activities, or could you or your dh take other kids out on Sunday morning for an hour while other one supervises homework? Or could you sometimes sit and read a book in ds's room while he does homework? Otherwise I like Drabarni's suggestion of giving specific bits of homework/revision to do and keep checking that it's done within a certain timeframe.

I think the ways to deal with procrastination vary from person to person, so it's worth thinking about whether there are changes that might help your ds work harder. I say this as a procrastinator myself - I work from home in 20 minute blocks and give myself little rewards in between - quick walk around the garden, cup of tea, couple of minutes on FB, etc. One of my dcs prefers to blast through homework (not very carefully) straight after school to get it out of the way, so I try to get him (reluctantly) to see that as a first draft that might need extra work to finish (e.g. there might be a short paragraph where a page is needed, bad punctuation, or things cut and pasted from Wikipedia). At the moment I check it and tell him what needs more work, but hopefully he'll learn to do this himself. Other dc is more like me & needs 'rewards' for sticking to the task.

None of these is a perfect solution but they've all helped in some ways.

I make my DDs revision cards for them. (Which I know removes one of the benefits of them going over all the material, but both have SpLD which means any cards they make aren't very useful.)

For science I use the CGP revision guides. I find 1 page generally translates into 1 or 2 cards.

What is needed really depends on how the child learns, and their level of understanding. Some need simple cards, some need mind maps. Some like loads of colours, others nice and plain.

For maths I have a card on adding & subtracting fractions. Top set kids won't need that!

NB I saw last week in WHSmiths some playing card sized CGP revision cards for various subjects. They were in sealed boxes so I couldn't look at them, but they could be helpful perhaps.

Priority is learn the topics to be covered in the mocks.

Then after mocks look through the papers to understand

• where were topics not understood (and then rectify)
• where was learning insufficient (and why did revision fail)
• where was learning there, but exam technique let him down (and understand what the issue was)

Do you know anybody with DC who are a couple of years older?

Could they talk to him about how they wished they had worked to their full potential rather than coasting through GCSE and not getting the grades they expected

So a sort of "do as I say rather than do as I did" it may help him to realise how he can help himself

I know the system has changed in marking but the working harder when capable is still the same

One The basics of revision timetable are:

1.1) make a list of all topics to be revised / practice papers to be done - NB expect to revisit topics and allow time for that too
1.2) estimate against each topic time to learn / do papers / review
1.3) add up total time needed

2.1) think what hours can/will realistically be spent on revision on school days, weekends, and holidays (inset, half term, holidays) [be careful to include some whole days off, time for socialising etc]. Allow for rest breaks at least every hour if not every 20-30mins.
2.2) add up revision time available

3. compare time needed v time available and adjust so they roughly match (either by reducing revision, or upping time)

4. block subjects against slots so that everything is worked on (not leaving one subject out). Try to do hardest subjects at most productive time of day. Think about 'rewarding' hard subject with a more enjoyable one etc.

--

5. a) When sitting down to revise make sure you have an AIM and some way of knowing whether you have SUCCEEDED. e.g. Write notes on Lady Macbeth - output is the notes; learn about DNA replication - output can you write down / say the steps without looking, or be tested by Mum. b) Tick off topics as they are done, so they can see progress c) Allow flexibility, such as swapping subjects around. Also allow to change free slots, but generally extra time off should be earned by revision in advance not promises to catch up

You can get fancy software to help you do this, or you can just use something like Excel, or do it all on paper.

ideally you will have revision notes / mind maps etc already for the y10 work. If not then that should be first priority from now.

Mine were independent for revision early on during school and remained stress free for exams but that was through luck of their personalities and schools rather than our parenting skills.
IMO a great part of exam stress is from the consequences of procrastination and therefore setting up a routine that facilitates revision earlier rather than later for those who don’t self regulate reduces rather than increases stress later in the year. If I had a perfectionist DC I would be discouraging revision until the Easter holidays.

Ours self regulated. GCSEs are just a stepping stone and not really that important as long as you get what you need.

Ours came out with good results. And also realised they could have done better and did push on harder for A levels.

Happy child far more important than exams and piled on stress. Ours didn’t do revision timetables till after Christmas.

Visiting unis is great imv. Make sure they see any great sports facilities and the clubs available. I think they get a feel for a place and know more if they would fit in.

Comefromaway that’s amazing. Has he got a keyboard in his room that he could use if he feels anxious or agitated?

OneHamm laissez faire may just be a front. The further behind I feel the more the tendency to procrastinate and I don’t think I am alone.
The school may be able to give some revision booklets as well as templates for a timetable. £23 is a lot so make sure any new ones are the ones the teacher recommends for the syllabus.
Re where to start with a revision timetable I agree with PP about asking which subjects he finds the hardest and dividing those revision books into time slots. The end of week slots could be spent reviewing the previous week’s material. If it were me, food treats for the end of week quiz would be an incentive

Also agree that initially providing more of a framework could be helpful, quizzing him after a 30 minutes slot on what he has read and establishing what he has found difficult. If you can’t help with his queries get him to write a list to go over with the teacher.

OP, you are doing great, at least he was working.
Just be constant the message will soon get through. Just a thought but can you help him identify his weaknesses and sit with him whilst he attempts something he can't do. If you can both manage this just a few times he'll have a bit more confidence to tackle the hard stuff.

Playing the piano and composing music. He’s spent hours on it tonight.

Onehamm3R what about paper revision guides and later printed exam papers?
Suggest 30 mins at a time working on these (revision timetable set-up each week for number of 30 minute slots and which chapters etc). He can then leave computers and phones downstairs. He can even work on his bed if he wants. . I did most of my revision on my bed from memory.

Then screentime for 10 minutes or so downstairs to relax before another 30 minutes. If you have time you could help by a quiz on the chapter he has done. Or a quiz session with food during the weekend.
Your DS sounds amenable to suggestion which is a real positive even if he finds it difficult to follow-up.

Comefromaway is there something else that your DS enjoys and relaxes him that can be gradually substituted from time spent on his addiction to screens?

No work from ds tonight but he did make home made soup. Food Tech is currently his worst subject and he’s been down no badly at the practicals at his current school (which is odd as it was one of his best subjects at his old school) so the more practice the better.

@TeenPlusTwenties - thanks, found it now.

I’m lucky in that my DS will regulate himself - I was surprised so many are regulating their teens quite strictly. But then I fast forwarded my mind to 4yrs from now, my DD. I bet any money if I found this thread in 4yrs time and remembered what I said that I’d be imposing some kind of restriction and revision timetable on my daughter. I an fairly relaxed regarding screen time, I love my phone, and no problems in school. DS is very bright and predicted 8’s and 9’s and if he doesn’t get them it won’t be through lack of trying. He’s started already with revision cards.

Have you bought the revision guides / York notes etc? I found some good prices for all on eBay, used but good condition, £2 /£3 each. At least if they have all the material to help that’s a good start. I think it’s good to start revision from now. DS did one GCSE in year 10 and did so much revision. He lost his grandad in the middle, 2 days before his final GCSE he was burying his grandad. Just 5 months after losing the other (my dad). So been tough.
I think you need to strike a balance - let them have some fun / screen time but also let them set themselves some study / revision timetable

Marking my place. Mine is only year 8 but I can see him going exactly the same way. Glad I'm not alone.

Darbs About 5 posts up from this one.

I leave my ds to regulate himself, he wants 8’s and 9’s and is prepared to work to get them. He does play PS4 but not around exams

Where do I find the year 11 thread?

Teen brains mature at different rates.
Teens have different personalities.

Absolutely. Emotionally ds has always been around 2-3 years younger than his actual age. So it's like asking a 12/13 year old to go through the stress of GCSE's. He will catch up and academically he is very capable (especially in the subject area he hyper focuses on) but his fihjt or flight mechanism is strong.

Thank you very much, have saved it now.

Comefromaway

I can't imagine how difficult it must be for your family, my dd has a set of issues but not to the extent of your ds. It's scary when they do a runner though, we've been known to lock doors and windows when the running away was late at night.
With mine it's stress related but also Aspergers.
We have started the first week well, regular calls and hopefully some revision cards to show at the weekend. I'm not holding my breathe for the latter.
If you visit Salford Uni let me know if you have time and we can meet up.

Drabarni www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3626184-Starting-Yr11-Gcses-2020-Support-Thread-Edited-at-OPs-request