Double fees big dilemma

Why not prep her for the 11 plus and spend money on that not the private school? Gymnastics surely she can do at her d club ? Soz about stickers 3 yr old typing codes

OP You said one of the private schools that you are considering has a focus on gymnastics - it would be worth asking them about a specifically gymnastics sports scholarship, and explaining that otherwise it’s probably not doable financially. If they have a squad and want to maintain their standard, they may well be keen to have her. It’s also worth asking her coach (or someone at her gym) what they know about various local schools being supportive (or not) of that level of commitment to gymnastics. You wouldn’t want her to end up somewhere where they made it hard for her to get to training or competitions where she had to miss some school time, for example.

@Schoolmumm I am really sorry that your state school experience is so dire. My DD is in year 7 and bottom and top attainers have been set from the beginning. Only mix are the middle attainers. Her Art, Drama and DT classes only have 15 children in them and they have a whole school musical they can take part in. She is bottom set as has SEN and her maths and english class is her plus 7 children. There is no space to mess around. Her school has been incredibly flexible and the most able are super stretched. She was able to drop a language and instead have SALT with no problems. This is a normal state school with a 'GOOD' ofsted. Most of the schools in our borough are like this which has its pros and cons as some of the children are very pressured.
Our primary experience was horrible though and they were the opposite to you- only the smart kids saw the time of day.

It such a personal choice at the end of the day and I think it goes back to the OP. What is right for one child isn't for another.

@Molmantar I hear you but OP did say her options are good. Plus her DD is already doing super well in a state school

I thought perhaps I hadn’t read the post properly, but the state school OP mentions doesn’t come across as being terribly good, otherwise I presume she wouldn’t have this dilemma?
And doing well in a state school primary, doesn’t always translate into continued success at secondary. It depends on the cohort too. Our youngest daughter was ‘top of the class’ in her state primary before we pulled her out. They spent more time trying to bring less able children up to standard, and zero time challenging those who were already working above the standard. In her prep school there are no SAT constraints or class limitations imposed by having such a broad cohort. She has been setted since year 4, and for an able child I do think that was vital. From my experience with both primary & secondary, private education enables a more tailored flexible approach. In state school, you are expected to run with the herd. Sorry if that sounds crass, but my state school experiences with both children, were very much like that.

Maybe also look at top boarding schools with bursaries

Definitely check out the bursaries. I was surprised that both at DS and Dd schools the max joint income is £120k check out academic scholarships too although they don’t tend to amount to much they could help.

I agree Musmerian. We aren't in London but have very long school days and fixtures on Saturdays - goodness knows when you would fit tutoring in

I think that as you earn good salaries which are over the 'threshold' and have equity in your home then you are unlikely to get a bursary and personally in those circumstances I don't think you should.

Find out on the parental grapevine which schools offer generous scholarships as these vary hugely.

Good luck finding a school that offers a bursary for a child with SEN - schools round here actually charge more in terms of paying extra for all the additional help you have to pay for.

While I agree that a bright child will probably be fine anywhere there are some real misconceptions about Private Schools. The PP who claimed that failing teachers could only get jobs in private schools must have been around in the 60s! We get around 100 applicants for most jobs we advertise and we only shortlist 5 candidates- our teachers are very well qualified specialists so for example we wouldn’t take someone with a media Studies degree to teach English. My experience as a PGCE mentor in recent years has opened my eyes to the lack of subject knowledge some teachers now have. The private tutoring comment is also not true.

You may also find there are bursaries for SEN in that private schools being charities have to show some charitable efforts to remain charities for the tax advantages. Ask.

I’m in London and there is a lot of tutoring of private school pupils. A friend of mine tutors in London and all her pupils are at highly regarded secondary independent schools. It’s very normal.

I have the impression that you need to be really poor or a single parent so i am even embarrassed to ask before they have met my child.

Ah, yes ... In my experience not a single parent who has been too embarrassed to apply for a bursary has ever been awarded one.

Tutoring of secondary school pupils in private school is pretty unusual. As PP mentioned, when would it even fit in with long school days and fixtures on Saturdays.

I am not talking London schools but know plenty of others - extra support is offered in private schools for those struggling in my experience.

With regards to bursaries, it is worth enquiring but if you have a lot of equity in your property there is often an expectation that you use that which is fair enough really.

If you can afford it with a few sacrifices then great but obviously if it is at the expense of food then personally I wouldn't do it.

Different children have different needs and you could always move daughter in yr 9 which is very common and cut down further on the years of double fees.

Also worth checking if there is a sibling discount as some schools do offer this.

@Schoolmumm I hear you but OP did say her options are good. Plus her DD is already doing super well in a state school. I'm sorry your options are so dire but it really does seem like its up to where you live unfortunately. Of course, everyone knows someone that did something.

All the best in your choice OP.

I totally agree the decision should be based on the individual child’s needs and choosing the school where they are likely to be served best, not because there may be some perceived inequality.
But if the OP’s catchment options are anything like ours, then I would definitely be looking down the private route.
Incidentally, a child of a friend that lives in London, left a high achieving London private last year, now studying maths at a very good RG....never had tutoring either. She passed 11+ but took up a generous scholarship instead.
It’s never good to generalise, we can only offer our own experiences, and it seems there is a huge disparity in quality of schooling from one county to the next.
Good luck with your decision OP.

And please also remember that your daughter is already so passionate about school and her subjects... and this is at a state primary. There is no way in knowing that this won't carry on into secondary, regardless where she goes.

@alexasmith honestly, please just apply anyway. The worst they can say is no. There is often a place on the application form to explain your situation and you can attach a letter too.