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Original poster

Bullied at NCS and tears

54 replies

ROZ12 · 01/08/2019 00:58

Hi all

My dd is currently at Ncs. She has anxiety issues and none of her friends went with her. I encouraged her to go to open up and overcome her fears of social anxiety.

I was so proud of her for going, just got a phone call from her that a particular popular boy made fun of her glasses and swore at her and called her a f.... ing d... k. I’m fuming at moment and dd doesn’t want to do phase 2 now. One boy has made this whole experience awful, reduced her self esteem even more and the aim of fighting her fears has back fired .

I feel like a bad parent and back tracking on everything we tried to achieve .

What shall I do?? Report the boy? Let her quit?

OP posts:
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Original poster
ROZ12 · 31/08/2019 18:42

Thank you so much, yes I’m more proud of her completing Ncs than her GCSEs results as grades are gRades, perseverance will be more valuable in the work world!

OP posts:
billy1966 · 31/08/2019 15:23

You both sound great OP and she sounds like she got a lot from it.
Particularly, she has learnt that she has great resilience and determination.

From times like this I think it's great to be able to use it as an example the next time she faces adversity.

As in, the next time she is very anxious about something you will be able to remind her of how stressed and nervous she was about this course. How she persevered, and succeeded and was well able to cope after all.

Sounds like a great win.👍

bizzey · 31/08/2019 15:04

Late to the update as I lost the thread !
@ROZ12 so glad it all ended well for her .

Onwards and upwards to 6th form now !

NewElthamMum13 · 23/08/2019 21:38

That's great to hear! This is fab because, rather than running away from a difficult situation, she's overcome it and learned that she can not just cope but enjoy it. Brilliant. Thanks for the update!

Original poster
ROZ12 · 22/08/2019 01:03

Hey all

Ncs done!! She really liked it in the end and pleased she completed the programme.

Thanks all

OP posts:
LoveGrowsWhere · 11/08/2019 17:11

Well done your DD for hanging in there. They are still young but she has shown resilience & that's an amazing thing to take forward.

Hoghgyni · 10/08/2019 18:13

Our community FB page is full of requests begging for prizes/materials/supporters etc.

Original poster
ROZ12 · 10/08/2019 10:47

My dd doesn’t have Facebook but I do have cupboards!

OP posts:
bizzey · 10/08/2019 09:09

Ahh *ROZ12 What good news ! Well not for the silly boy and his parents of !.
Daily now so not as intense on the socils side .She gets a break from them while at home.

So glad it is turning out well for her.

Hoghgyni · 10/08/2019 08:55

Justice was done! The community project phase will probably involve DD raiding your cupboards for supplies and random Facebook requests for help.

Original poster
ROZ12 · 09/08/2019 23:47

She is back! We have news!!

The bully and his friend got caught smoking weed and left on day !- result !

Karma is a ..........!

She is happy this week and made a few friends .

Happy to go to phase 3.

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
bizzey · 07/08/2019 22:59

Ahh well never mind .
She will be back on friday and then 2 weeks of days .
She will be back home ! 🤥

Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 22:37

I’m
Working till 5pm I’m afraid and too late to ask the boss.

OP posts:
bizzey · 07/08/2019 22:32

@ROZ12 Yes it does seem long , but it goes quick !
I can only tell you of what i know from ds1 from last year.

Parents got there for the 3pm mark (i got there at 2.45 pm .. yes a stealth boast as some were coming in at 3.10 !)
Thing students came into room ..3.30/3.45

Slide show of their activities with photos.
Each wave (group) said thi gs about whatmade their trip special and said a bit about the work /charity thing they were going to do .

(ds was in 2nd wave to talk ...might have closed my eyes for a bit for wave 8 !)

After what you have both been through ...could you not sneak in .
Obvs work couldbe a problem .

Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 22:09

Mizzy moo- what happened and did you make a complaint?

OP posts:
Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 22:08

I’m working so I can’t attend And it’s 3-5:30 seems quite long! My dd won’t talk much she said and asked me not to come .

Thanks for your support .

OP posts:
bizzey · 07/08/2019 21:51

@ROZ12 Are you gping to parent thing as well.??
(Ignore above poster..you did well sending her knowing it would be difficult )

Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 21:37

Thank you will report back Friday when she is back !

OP posts:
MirzyMoo · 07/08/2019 20:40

I would never send anyone on an NCS course, the staff are not qualified or capable of looking after anyone, and yes i know that because of horrendous group incident from when my son went 2 years ago.

bizzey · 07/08/2019 20:31

Both of you are amazing .
Well done .and yes tell her she has alot of people rooting for her.

Nearlyalmost50 · 07/08/2019 20:10

Your dd is amazing! Keeping going under difficult circumstances. Tell her that from me.

Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 20:07

Yes she is happy with the accommodation however she is still lonely and scared, it’s knocked her confidence the bully last week. But she is pushing herself to do all the activities .

OP posts:
bizzey · 07/08/2019 19:24

@ROZ12 hope your dd's 2nd week is going well.
My dc has sent me a picture of his room (2nd week as well) .
It is lovely i dont think he will want to come home !
At least this week they are a bit nearer to home.

Original poster
ROZ12 · 07/08/2019 09:27

No I didn’t overreact there was some nasty things said which were unnecessary I care not to repeat .

Yeah she has proven her self to be strong as she went back, many have dropped out.

She called me last night I gave a positive mental attitude Pep talk.

OP posts:
reefedsail · 07/08/2019 08:31

Agree that your DD is handling this better than you OP. It’s good that she has the resilience to be able to see somebody else’s lack of social skills as their problem not hers, and perhaps even want to support them with it.

Unless there is much more you have not written about that this boy has done, you are massively overreacting. Sticks and stones and all that? I’m not saying the kid is a lovely bloke, but it sounds like he could be dealt with with a swift ODFOD. Perhaps getting your reactions in check would be a big help to your DD with her social anxiety.