DS wants to repeat Year 13

You need to be a parent. So far, your hands-off approach has led to him wasting 2 years of 6th Form education, so maybe now is the time to step up.

My money is on this appointment never happening or him claiming it’s happening then not turning up. But that’s fine, eh OP? No need for you or him to take any responsibility. Despite the fact that the school have provided what they are obligated to for last 7 years, it’s still not enough.

The boy clearly needs guidance. You are his mother. Help him out.

My DC is almost the same age and I still go to all their meetings with them. They might be old enough to go on their own but they are not mature enough. Until they are in work or at Uni they still need parental support to make choices.

You really need to go with him to that meeting.

He’s on the school roll until 31st Aug but their obligations have, in effect, ended.

Why are you not going with him? After everything that’a been said on this thread? You keep insisting that you are totally supportive and yet you’re not going to go to this meeting - the meeting which you believe could determine his future? You say he’s intelligent - strikes me that he is skilled at spinning you along and making you believe anything he says. Go to the meeting FFS.

"I'm not going with him to it, he wants to go himself anyway. He knows what he needs to say."

Given that he hasn't done a very good job on his own, don't you think it might benefit him if you go with him? If you were as involved in his education as you keep saying you are (although there doesn't seem to be much evidence of that based on what you have written so far) wouldn't you want to go with him?

He clearly isn't emotionally mature enough to make the decisions that you seem to think he is grown up enough to do so.

He clearly doesn't feel ready for that responsibility, so maybe you need to take that responsibility back from him until he is ready.

He is part of the cohort finishing this year, yes, but honestly, the school’s bottom line job is to get him as far as his exams. After that, the school has no responsibility for a yr 13 student. Does he have an actual appointment scheduled in? Are you going to go with him?

@user20 did you contact the school?

If you're going to, you'll need to do that soon. If he has don his exam, then he's finished - the school are no longer responsible for him and have no obligation to even see you or him to talk about his future. They've done their job.

It just seems like he cant deal with taking personal responsibility for getting to /staying at school. The whole sixth form freedom is too much. Which i can really understand. If you miss a lesson and no action/immediate consequence happens. It is actually more surprising that some attend and do well. Ideally there would be an option for parents at gcse/sixth form for parents to decide whether dc could leave the premises.
You need to learn self motivation and i guess some people may not be strong on that. With the alevel results so far off.
Tbh this issue seems an issue at state schools from primary. With so many students they may not feed back to parents behaviour that you would like to nip in the bud (say too long toilet breaks/not finishing the work) then the behaviour becomes entrenched.

Ive seen this with a kid who just stopped going in and ended up at a PRU.

Is the system at fault for not being able to enforce attendance? (Or inform parents immediately so they can sort it.)
Or as op is saying immediate sanctions/loss of alevel place.
I dont understand how kids think they will pass without going to leasons. We had about 8 lessons per week per alevel.
Maybe publishing results and attendance would make parents and students clear that they need say 93%+ to even have a chance of As

Was their a plan in place for him to go to university in September if he had passed his a-levels?

Did he have any offers, what grades and subjects where they for? Law?

User, you seem to be swithering between cracking down on him (make him pay his way, throw him out) and asking everyone else to make allowances for his one mistake.

I think you are reacting somewhat at random here (not really a criticism, I do it myself). ‘I’ll do this - tough love is what he needs and he’ll be fine. But he’s struggling, make allowances and he’ll be fine.’

I think you (and his father if in the picture) need a clearer idea of how his Aspergers affects him, plus the OCD. I think that having found the courses hard, he has simply hidden from them because he isn’t good at assessing long term effects of his actions. He may do the same if he tries again.

I suspect your boy would need substantial help to get through A levels and that a law degree would be an appalling struggle for him.

Maybe if he had a more realistic goal he might get his head down/feel motivated?
Sorry but do you have any idea how competitive law is? And as for Barrister?! Has he not had any guidance from school at all?
Also where did the Geography, Business, ICT choices come from ?

Worth looking into whether having an ECHP makes a difference.
''Funding for young people age 19+
From age 19, young people who are starting a new study programme may have to pay tuition fees.

However, if they:

Are under 25 and have an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan
Have not achieved English or maths at GCSE grade C / grade 4 or higher
Are 19-23-years-old and want to enrol on a study programme to achieve their first full qualification at Level 2 or Level 3 (see what qualification levels mean)
they will continue to receive free education and their study programme will be funded by the Adult Education Budget (AEB).

(N.B. A few educational settings may not receive ESFA or AEB funding to cover the costs of tuition fees. It is always advisable to check if tuition fees are charged, before enrolling on any study programme.)''

He sounds like he needs to grow up a bit. Let him get a job for a year and see if he actually does change his ways. If he really wants to he can then try to get onto an access/foundation course and get a university place via that route.

Yes, but I don't think your advice is realistic.

If he has had his funding this time round, he is very unlikely to get Level 3 funding for a second shot. Maybe, given his diagnoses, he might be able to make a case - though it won't help if you announce that he's just a very naughty boy.

He is very unlikely to be able to cope with the workload for law at present, and telling him to get on with it won't make that happen.

We are coming at this from somewhat the opposite direction. DS also has Asperger's, OCD and depression. He is painfully dragging himself through university running on half-empty, despite fairly frequent advice to put his mental health first. He is nearer 'well' when outside, in company, doing something practical - so your son's laughing and joking with friends while burying his head in the sand about his school work sounded rather familiar.

I think the main advantage of him looking for a job is he might start to understand how competitive it is and realise he may struggle even to get into Tesco etc. (I did at 17 with just ok gcses).
I also honestly didnt realise how hard it would be to get a job even after uni. Loads of selection centres, teamwork interviews. Actually graduate jobs are not for everyone and even when you get the job there can be a lack of training.
Would he interview well?
Maybe look into how many barristers there are as a percentage of lawyers

But you're not saying 'A levels or similar' you're saying A levels, and now. He needs something other than A levels. A legal apprenticeship for example. Or an Access course in a year or so. He'll fail A levels and have nothing to show for his one or two years trying.

@user20 - are you sure this is a considered decision on his part rather than a reflex reaction to not going to uni like many of his peers?

Does he know the process of being a defence barrister and what a levels are good for law? Has he considered other options? If he picks inappropriate a levels or doesn’t work next year would he be in a worse position regarding funding?(if not there is less risk to try this path and see; but if it is he could be in a worse position next year).