DS wants to repeat Year 13

Can you explain why the school should prioritise meeting an 18 year old leaver with no parental support, who has a history of truancy and has just failed all his exams?

A session with a pastoral worker, the SENCo, a careers advisor or similar - absolutely, if they have spare time. The head - perhaps less.

the bloody school haven't got back to him yet with a day and time for his meeting with VP
It is not their responsibility any more as he has finished his exams. I imagine they have more important things to do than arranging a meeting with essentially an ex pupil.

everybody deserves a second chance
Of course he deserves a second chance, he can enrol and pay to do whatever course he wants at a local college, nobody is writing him off.

I am still not sure what you actually want from the school? Do you want them to compress three A-level courses into 1 year just for him? Are you expecting them to pay for extra support and extra teachers just for him? Is the idea to take the same A-levels that he has failed? What does repeating year 13 actually mean to you/him?

He should be enabled to find an alternative route forward to obtaining more qualifications, absolutely - either at this point or in a few years' time - but he has no right to literally 'go back to the same school' once he has completed his course, just because he didn't complete it 'well enough'.

So yes he should be allowed back on the condition he changes his ways!!!

Well, no.

Two things seem relevant here:
a) He has completed a Level 3 course of study, by taking his A level(s) - hence no funding and

b) He has SEN, and possible MH issues, which clearly contribute significantly to how the last couple of years have developed.

So there is no 'should' let him back.

Equally the fact that you are refusing to support him, even by as much as accompanying him to the meeting, would imply that another key component of meaningful change for any child, especially one with an with an EHCP - absolute backing and support from an involved and informed parent - is critically lacking.

Hollowtalk- didn’t realise night schools no longer existed😳 what a loss

If I were in charge of education in this country I'd bring back night schools and then young people in your son's position would be told to work in the day and go to night class if they'd messed up. That would be hard work and would separate out those who really want to do it from those who just want an easy life.

Tapas,

I think A-levels are all linear too. I don't know about the BTec that the OP mentions?

Tapas,

I think A-levels are all linear too. I don't know about the BTec that the OP mentions?

I thought that all A levels were linear now. DD took AS levels in 2017, but they weren't part of her A levels. Her A levels that she took last year were all linear.

Tavannach That depends on whether the AS were half the qualification (as unreformed AS/A2) or whether they were taken as a 'how's he getting on' standalone qualification that then gets superseded by taking the A level the following year.

Tavannach,

Actually, that is now incorrect. The ASs are no longer part of the A-level mark (which is why many schools have now dropped them altogether).

Some schools do still do them, but the A-level grade is based ONLY on the end of Y13 exams, which examine the student on y12 and Y13 work. So in theory it is perfectly possible to get a much higher - or conversely much lower - result in Y13 than in Y12

Say on a level results day he got AAB somehow, would he be accepted into the course he applied for if those grades met the criteria? Even if he did get 2Ds at AS?

With 2 Ds at AS this isn't possible. Assume he got A*s in year 13. The highest mark he can get for the 2 Ds is 2 Bs, and that is extremely unlikely given his poor attendance.

So, @user20 your current plan is to let your DS go into school in a few weeks on his own without your support to try to persuade them to let him come back for another year.

And they'll let him back because he's seen the error of his ways and will work really hard and get what he needs to study a law degree.And go on to be a barrister.

Good luck. I hope he achieves it. He won't get there without a shed load of determination, and support from you.

I have no more advice, and if I did, you wouldn't listen anyway.

Thanks Lunde. That’s amazing what your DD has achieved! It does take support. My parents were great. When I resat my A-level, I did a GCSE at night school in a year, my Mum did it too. I got an A and she got a B!

Thanks Arewedone. It hasn’t been easy. At times, it was hard to get out of bed. I’ve had to take Anti-depressants on and off since I was 22 and I do get frustrated at times...but I should be proud of my accomplishments. I’ve never been fired! It’s not always been easy, I’ve done some fields in my career that didn’t suit me and had to move, but I keep going!

Wow Lunde- huge respect to you and your Dd. I hope OP takes note- your story is really inspirational!
Faithinfinity- congratulations too, it’s so easy to make excuses but you haven’t given up at any point and have overcome so many hurdles.
I sincerely hopes OP absorbs both your advice, I don’t know why her dialogue upsets me. Possibly because I genuinely believe her son requires understanding, help and some love😰

I want to totally agree with FaithInfinity's post above. DD1 has Aspergers syndrome, ADHD and anxiety and suffered some similar issues to your DS. An illness developed into Tieze syndrome and the stress built up so much that she ended up overwhelmed and stayed in her room because she didn't know where to start with the workload.

When you have a child with disabilities - especially more invisible disabilities such as ASD and OCD you have to help and support them much more that if they are non-disabled. Saying to them that they are 18 and need to sort themselves out is very harsh. We contacted the school, went to meetings (where dd got served with notices of likely failure), negotiated her workload (she only did exams and assessed work) and maintained contact. When we first made contact she had 43 outstanding assessed assignments but they all got done. She passed everything even if her grades were not the best. She got onto a nursing degree (didn't have the grades for medical school), even then the first year was hard going but it really clicked in years 2 and 3. She graduated and was employed straight after graduation at a specialist unit that paid her a starting salary over £30K per year.

OP I think that you need to step up and offer support to your DS right now and help him to sort out his future and attend meetings with him. You need to sort out a plan of what he wants to do and what is realistic and help him advocate this with the school. You need to help him look at alternatives and tell him what support you are able to give.

Hi OP. I’ve read the full thread. I’m going to share a bit about me in the hope it might help you.

I am dyslexic and have ASD. I wasn’t diagnosed with either of these until adult hood. I did okay at GCSE - similar grades to your DS although I did 9 subjects. I thought they were quite good grades too! I did A-levels. I admit I find the leap to A-level massive. I found the sheer volume of work intense and struggled to achieve the level of self-directed study required. I got glandular fever in year 13 and my attendance dropped to 85% because of it. I really struggled to catch up. I didn’t get the grades I needed to do the course I wanted so I was allowed to resit at 6th form - I needed to improve my Biology grade but there were lots of us (maybe 15 students? Big 6th form) so they did a resit class where they covered the content within a year. I worked hard and got the grades I needed. I went to uni but again I found it very difficult to manage life, do my studies away from home. Things were better once I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I did graduate but I scraped through. Later I did a vocational qualification which was much better for me and I did fine (despite it being at Masters level!) I’ve been in that career for 12 years now.

Have you heard of Aspie burnout? Sometimes when things are very challenging, I find my anxiety peaks to the point I feel totally paralysed. I wonder if this is what your DS has been experiencing? Honestly, I don’t think A-levels are for him. There are other ways to get a career. There’s many jobs with potential for on the job training that don’t require A-levels or degree qualifications. I would encourage him to look at colleges with more vocational qualifications or apprenticeships (I know it’s not as easy as it used to be). I’m much better with more hands on learning. It doesn’t have to be uni or dead end job. You need to help him to set realistic career goals. If he can’t motivate himself at A-level, he’s not likely to do it at uni without you there to support him! But a job with hands on learning might suit him well.

It should be based on what they get at A level not AS.

DSs' were based on predicted grades for A Level. Only DS1 sat AS levels as they had been scrapped by the time DS2 did them - he sat internal exams to use as a prediction base.

It would have been nothing to do with a careers teacher and everything to do with his form tutor/head of 6th Form. Careers teacher was responsible for all UCAS applications at my school - the teaching staff and form tutors took no part in it.

What could have happened is this:
School predicts CCC based on work ethic and results so far.

You/he feel that of course he will do loads better, so he applies for courses which normally require AAA->BBB.
He gets no offers.

On results day he surprised everyone with AAB. At that point he could go for 'adjustment' (a kind of inverse clearing for those that have done better than expected) Courses at universities that still had spaces would have considered him, but they might not have been courses or places he has already looked at.

Better therefore perhaps to do the A levels, get the great grades (or not), plan for a year out, and apply based on actual results.

Yeah this doesn't make sense, I think we're having our chains pulled. ...

UCAS make offers based on predicted A Level grades - most students won't have AS grades at all, so he would have had offers, and no careers teacher would have suggested he withdraw (how many schools have careers teachers anyway?).

I don't believe any parent would have so little knowledge about their child, and make so little effort, not even going to a meeting with them, when that child has been struggling for years and is has an EHCP and CAMHS involvement.