Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

DS wants to repeat Year 13

437 replies

user20 · 04/06/2019 11:44

Hi,

My 18 y/o DS who is in Year 13 and is due to finish school forever at the end of this year is wanting to go back next year to repeat the year. He is currently out on study leave.

Basically, he is only doing one a level as his attendance was below 80%, not just this year but last year in year 12 too.

He has had no valid reason for this behaviour, he has just been lazy and made excuses and turned up to school whenever and when it suited him.

He is an intelligent guy, he got 4As and 1B and 2Cs in his GCSEs, It has annoyed me and my DH a lot over the last two years that he has wasted his potential like this, he could have done so much better.

I just want him to have a better life and employment opportunities.

He just seemed so distracted over sixth year, he just seems to be always on his phone and listening to music and on social media. he was missing deadlines, not revising for exams, well last year he did but left it to very close to the exams and came out with 2Ds and a C in his AS exams which is impressive for somebody who didn't bother going to school or revising.

The school were meant to Kick him out so many times as they tried working with him but he didn't co operate, the workload got too much and he had to drop down to one a level a few months ago as it was too much work to do in such a short period of time.

He has a btec ict exam in a few days and hes done nothing for it - he can't even be bothered to work for one exam.

He has said often that he regrets his behaviour as he knows he was capable of doing more and maybe going to uni in September, I wouldn't be bothered if he chose not to go to uni but I think he needs his a levels.

Anyway, after a long wasted two years, reality has kicked in as he now wants to have a good career and has found out that if he were to start a two year a level course at an FE College, his education wouldn't be funded from September 2020 onwards.

He now wants the option to go back to school next year and repeat Year 13 - is it likely after all this carry on that they'll have him back?

OP posts:
Original poster
user20 · 04/06/2019 22:42

@BentBaastard yep I agree - he has been so silly it's unreal.

For somebody with his intelligence, he has been extremely stupid. I am so angry with how he has behaved.

He has a good stable home and We are in no way rich, but he is well off as he has plenty of things I never had as a child - I had two jobs as a teenager and I worked my ass off to get where I am today - it wasn't easy but i got there, it annoys me because he is way more intelligent than me and his dad ever were and he's wasted so much of his talent

OP posts:
titchy · 04/06/2019 22:38

how do you get to go to college if you are stuck working long hours for crappy pay?

Sorry I probably wasn't clear. A year or two getting a dose of reality, then if his attitude has changed support him to quit the job and do an Access course (which are also available part time for those who need to work).

bookmum08 · 04/06/2019 22:34

titchy I got sent down the 'get a job' path and ended up stuck there for 20 years on minimum wages. A job that made me unhappy and depressed and feel trapped because how do you get to go to college if you are stuck working long hours for crappy pay?

BentBaastard · 04/06/2019 22:31

Silly boy.

What was he thinking?

I don’t think the school should have him back and he should deal with the consequences.

Harsh but true.

titchy · 04/06/2019 22:10

I'd suggest a year or two working a minimum wage job, then doing an Access course if he wants to go to university. Another year pissing about on his phone won't help anyone.

Alternatively look at apprenticeships.

bookmum08 · 04/06/2019 22:04

A lot of teens do 3 years in 6th form instead of the usual 2. He has obviously realised he has gone wrong and that's good.
However could it be he is finding a levels hard and overwhelming. It could be he is feeling afraid of joining the adult world and leaving the familar life of school - but that a levels aren't right for him but he doesn't know what else to do. That was basically me at that age.
He needs to have a bit of a plan of what he wants to do and you need to sit down and find the correct path for it. If he doesn't want to go to uni then he doesn't need a levels. There are loads of alternative options.
I was probably thought of as lazy by my 6th form teachers but actually I was overwhelmed, struggling, lost and a bit young for my age.

Original poster
user20 · 04/06/2019 21:37

@noblegiraffe oh I completely agree - I think for them to say no might actually be a good thing and yes you're right, if he were to go back again, I know deep down he'll just do the same again.

He hasn't done any work for his ict at all - he'll not pass it.

He continuously says how he regrets all this but he doesn't do anything to correct it

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 04/06/2019 17:45

It would be good for him to ask and for the school to say no, you’ve actually run out of chances and have to face the consequences.

It might actually make him realise that he has to sort himself out. Given another year in the same place he could well lapse back into old habits.

I assume that given his regrets and his desire to repeat a year, he has actually pulled his finger out and started working towards his ICT exam? If not, then it’s all hot air.

Original poster
user20 · 04/06/2019 16:16

@BeautifulWintersMorning yes that's true. The worst thing that could happen here is that they turn round and say no, if that is the case, he will just have to accept it and move on

OP posts:
BeautifulWintersMorning · 04/06/2019 16:03

No harm in asking the school.

Original poster
user20 · 04/06/2019 15:54

@BeautifulWintersMorning

Yes he has applied for a course at the FE college but he has said he wants to have the option to return to school if he decides to at the end of the summer holidays.

It would be great if they did allow him back - but only under very strict conditions. As a parent, I can absolutely and fully see why they wouldn't, he has wasted their time and not just for one year, but for two!

But to play the devils advocate, they allowed some people in DS' year group to repeat Year 12 this year instead of going to year 13 this year and I believe somebody else in the year group is staying onto repeat Year 13 next year.

My friend's daughter who left the same school a few years ago failed her GCSE's and was allowed to retake year 11

OP posts:
BeautifulWintersMorning · 04/06/2019 14:58

I wouldn't have thought so. Could he investigate vocational courses at FE college? He could still have a good career via that

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.