DS wants to repeat Year 13

School might tell you his GCSE grades if you call them on Monday.

In particular, if you are in England:

• Maths and English will be numbers
• He is likely to have done English Literature as well as language if indeed he got an A (or whatever number he has translated into an A)
• He will have grades EITHER for double science (2 grades, for Core and Additional, given when he took it) OR for all 3 Sciences OR possibly [not quite sure when single science GCSE ended] one grade for all Sciences together. Biology alone is not possible.

If you are in Wales, things are slightly different, but the school will be able to tell you.

OP,
I don’t understand how you ‘weren’t consulted ‘ about what subjects he took at GCSE. I don’t understand how you were so blase that you haven’t seen his certificates (especially as you are so proud of his results !), I don’t understand how you went to all those school meetings but continued to fund and allow his 24/7 phone access.

I get that you are angry with him but not how you have used other parenting tools to support him.

Forget anger, he is blaming himself now, find effective guidance and support.

I think you need to sit down and have a completely honest chat with your son. Including getting out his GCSE results. The only way you can really plan for the future is by facing up the the reality of what's happened. If he's a bright kid it's unlikely he only took 7 GCSEs. It might come as a relief to him to come clean and lay all his cards on the table. If you're right and he worked hard and focussed during GCSEs, then actually failed or dropped out of, say, 3 of them, that must have been tough. Maybe he's just not cut out for A-level but hasn't felt able to admit it when he knows both you and his older brother gained A-levels and degrees.

There are lots of options other than academic routes. Good luck

What was said at your DS' annual reviews for his statement? Did you not discuss the next steps? Are you in Wales or did you mean EHCP which can go up to 25?

It seems to me that your son is feeling lost and hopeless as he now can't do the expected route of university. He feels like he has failed. (Well, he has failed).

It isn't the end of the world. You need to help him see that. To see alternate paths, and possibly alternate destinations. Seems to me he clearly isn't mature enough for academic study. Let him get a job, see what the 'real world' is like (it was a shock for my DD1). Then when he has grown up, in a year or two, he can do night school, or access courses, or whatever if he really is motivated enough.

Not everyone has A levels and a degree. They lead happy lives. He needs to 'man up', take the consequences of his (in)action, and get a job, any job.

And yes, get him to produce those certificates. He will need them for an employer anyway.

I think I'd ask to see his gcse results as they may show you why he's struggling at a level.
The A's if they're real, are great but would show a focus in his learning, has he done those ones at a level?
And yes he should have received way more now, the trend is above 10 GCSEs.

In relation to his gcses - my mum kept all my certificates. Just ask him for the certificates for safe keeping (like vaccination records etc). It was v useful as I was moving all over the place while at uni and after. You could probably ask school what subjects he was entered for and what boards and ask them for replacements if old ones are lost. Easier to do now than a few years down the line when job/uni asks to see them.

He wouldn't have got numbers if in Wales or if he did iGCSEs.

1. Have a look at his GCSE results. My guess is he took triple science and isn't telling you the grades he got in Physics and Chemistry.

1. The last thing he needs is to go back to a school which has let him get away with being so lazy. He needs a fresh start.

1. He's not the first kid ever to bum out of Alevels. As you say, he doesn't do drugs or party all night. He's basically a good kid, who I suspect has the gift of the gab, and sounds like he's got good mental health, so he's got a head start on many his age. If he didn't mess up Alevels he might have messed up uni which would have been worse because he'd have accumulated a loan.

1. There are loads of options available to him which aren't stacking shelves in Asda.

I'd be looking at doing a BTEC at a FE college, and taking a funding loan if you need it. Ask the college what's available. FE colleges IME are used to dealing with kids who have dropped out of Alevels and can be really helpful.

I'd also be looking at apprenticeships. I suspect your DS would really enjoy one if he found the right place. Yes, they are a long slog to gaining qualifications, but he'd be payed as he went along and I think it would suit his personality more.

If he magically passes the exams he taken this year he might be able to do a foundation year at uni, if he knows what subject he wants to do.

But don't leave any of that to results day. Get on to it now.

My nephew did less well in his A levels than he hoped, he then went to college to take a level 3 BTEC. I’m not sure about whether he was able to access funding in the first year, though the experts on here are very clear that wouldn’t be possible.
But his parents definitely had to pay for the second year of the course.

And op, you say you’re an involved parent but haven’t ever seen your DS’ GCSE certificates? That is seriously not normal.

I think the best thing would be for him not to return to school.

I've seen this aa few times, VI form at school can feel like just an extension of school. You still call teachers by their surnames, or Miss or Sir, you still get home work and detentions etc. Staying on can seem like delaying growing up.

As for funding, well he can take out an FE loan if it is a 2 year course.

I haven't read the full thread but it reminds me of ds. We are in lreland so things are different. He did nothing in final year here. He completely panicked and was totally overwhelmed. There was a lot of talk from teachers about the huge importance of the year and while lots were motivated by that he ran the other way, terrified of failure.
He did badly but not as badly as he thought considering how little he did. So he went back. School were very supportive...like they sort of got him. He continued on to university and pretty good job now.
So he could settle down.
One thing l notice as a teacher is if kids dabble in drugs they lose all motivation and school completely goes out the window. May not be relevant but be aware.

I think you should ask. At least he has woken up now. It’s a bit harsh of others to say tough. This is the age they are programmed to get distracted but unfortunately it’s also the age mistakes can have big consequences.

It worries me that you say he keeps crying and saying he wants to die. I would say that means he is feeling very lost and scared.
He really needs to think seriously about what he would like in his future - "going to uni to study criminology or law" - but then what?
What is the course he wants to do at college? Does it lead to a specific qualification or is it just more a levels? What is the point of it - is it really (in his mind) just a way of getting what you need for uni or something he is actually really interested in.
Why didn't he go to school? You need to find out why. I did 6th form but I really couldn't cope with the level of study involved. I would be sat in the study areas surrounded by my friends. They would be busy getting on with writing essays etc but I would be fidgety and couldn't focus and my mind would wander. To teachers I was 'lazy' but I was struggling because I simply didn't know how to sit there and study and write essays. I now know that academic subjects aren't really my thing and I prefer to be doing hands on creative and practical things. It's taken me well into adulthood to realise that. God I wish I had realised at 14.
If you are happy to pay for any future college courses then perhaps he does need a year 'out'. But does it have to be paid work? If he did voluntary work would you support him financially?
Your poor boy sounds lost. Forget the obsession with a levels. It's time for Plan B.

I did an extra year of sixth form; still didn’t do great but it was worth a shot!

EvilTwins maybe you can answer this:
i have read this thread with interest as i have a dc similar gcse grades, 18yo.
a levels were hard for dc and i understand now that dc is not academical type and we dont expect good grades from a levels atm.(also, after as, dc dropped 1 subject and taken another)
there were 2 options for dc 2 months ago;
-to work somewhere
-but dc insisted doing 2 years btec on the same a level subjects (business)
dc applied for the btec in 2 colleges (1 different, 1 at the same, current college)
dc was accepted at both colleges with unconditional offer.
does this mean funding will be available for 2 years in btec?
Thank you in advance.
sorry for hijacking your thread user20, but there are some similarities with your situation and i thought you could see what path we are taking.

I did roughly the same as your son, only I didn't have good O'level results. I got a place at college on an A level secretarial course, I got kicked out after the first year because I was never there, applied to go back in sixth form at school to improve O level results & did exactly the same. I ended up signing on the dole for nearly a year before i got a job in the civil service, while I worked there I got NVQ level 2 in IT & level 3 in Business Administration. I worked for the civil service for 27 years before I had to retire due to ill health. If your son's GCSE results are as good as you say they are, why doesn't he look at an apprenticeship where he can get qualifications & work at the same time? He would be able to be earning while he learns, gaining work experience & if he chooses the right apprenticeship be on the way to a good career & a permanent job.

At least if he doesn’t go to uni now, he can save his further/higher education funding until he knows what he wants to use it for (I might be wrong but isn’t it harder to get funding for undergraduate if you already have a degree?)

OP - relax a little. Do you really think uni is the best thing for him? Do you think he really wants to study criminology/law or that he wants to go partying with his peers? Young people nowadays have stark choices with potential large amounts of debt if they drop out of uni. I would prefer my dcs To work min wage jobs while they decide what they want.

I’m in the wrong career after several years of study and work. I’m looking to switch and have done a recognised exam costing £275. There are other such qualifications that may help - eg health and safety for building sites, book-keeping qualifications (but you have to find out what industry you’d like to work in and pick the useful ones). No point looking back, chin up, there are lots of possibilities for self improvement if he’s willing to work his socks off.

Ps - the phone is not an either/or issue. You could make it a condition of him living at home that you remove his smart phone and give him a non-smart one so you can contact him.

OP: the working in Tesco thing. Honestly, Retail is not a bad route. They do invest in young people keen for promotion etc. He can start young but progress with training and promotion .

Um. sounds like a hell of a lot more consequences than an A Level student ought to need.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but honestly why on earth should the government fund him any further? School budgets are ludicrous as it is. Teachers having classes of 35+ for GCSE subjects, no one being able to order essentials, subjects being cut because schools can't afford the teachers. Your DS has had more than his fair share.

It sounds very much like the school has bent over backwards to try and help him and he has taken the piss. Schools don't permanently exclude post-16 students - yes, they could have told him to leave but instead they spent two years trying to support him. You're (quite rightly) more interested in your DS than in his teachers, but there will be teachers in his school having to explain why his result has caused a dip in their data and they may well fail performance management as a consequence. Sorry OP but your DS does not deserve any more time or attention from that particular school and he needs to grow up and take responsibility. And you need to stop making excuses for him and enabling his poor behaviour.

@user20 I've worked in schools for 20 yrs and now run my own 6th form course as part of a virtual school. I have had to learn about how KS5 funding works.

If a student messes up A Levels for the reasons your DS has, there is no backtracking. He basically took two years of funding, did nothing and now has realised that he has messed up. If a student had genuine reasons for Year 13 going hideously wrong, the school would have had to act at a much earlier point. For example, if a child was very ill, or experienced some kind of trauma then it's likely that the school would have worked with them to find a solution - best example I can think of is a girl I used to teach who fell pregnant during Year 12. She agreed with school that she would stay in school until early Year 13, then take the rest of the year off, then start Year 13 again the following year. At least that could be planned. Another boy I taught lost his mum very suddenly at Christmas in Year 13. He was given the option of taking some time out but actually decided not to. He completed A Levels (with excellent grades) and is now at a top drama school. Of course there are genuine mitigating circumstances, but they are unlikely to suddenly appear at the end of year 13 and mean that a student has to retake the year. If something sudden happened at this stage, there would be special consideration for exams, and negotiations with universities. In your DS's case, it's been a long build up to this point and I'm afraid I highly doubt the school has just sat by and done nothing. It's just that your DS may not have kept you informed about it.