AIBU to prohibit DS in Year 7 from online gaming?

Just to add - we're pretty relaxed, no rules around screen time as long as homework and music practice is done (and sometimes this is a challenge with ds - but would be anyway!). They also go out to youth group and church, ds plays football and is just about to start a martial art, they hang out with friends etc. They probably spend too long on screens, but then, I spend all day every day on a screen as part of my job! As long as there's balance, I'm not too worried.

I think you have to assess what's going on instead of treating it as screen time/addictive and therefore bad. For example, my dd spends loads of time on her phone and I've been uncomfortable with it at times, but I've thought a lot about it and realised that most of it is simply social time. She facetimes her friends, or chats on whatsapp/snapchat/instagram messenger etc. She's a very sociable girl and she's made and developed lots of friends this way. Her friendships are real life ones though, so she's not on a screen all the time - chatting online has enabled her to get to know people better and take the friendships forward to meeting up outside school etc. Also, as her friends are scattered across the city, it's not easy to meet up on school nights so they chat online instead.

Ds is now the same (year 8) but the only difference for him is that the online chatting is done via Xbox not phone. There have been occasions where he's got overly obsessed with a game (Fortnite!) but most of the time the gaming is just a forum for socialising. Yes, it can be hard to get him to switch it off and do his homework - but honestly, the same is true of TV/youtube etc. I actually prefer both of them to be socialising rather than just watching stuff obsessively (which also happens!).

Both are always keen to actually meet up with friends in real life, so I don't feel online socialising has taken the place of the real thing. To me it just makes them feel more connected, especially as they both go to schools where kids travel a long way.

I have a year 7 boy in state school who does not online game but think most of his friends do. He's not banned as such but I am not keen on it. DD is year 8 and doesn't either, does spend lot of time on her phone though but tends to go out with friends to chat / play football /go to gym etc.

He's Y7. I think it's U to not let him game. You can limit the time he has, the games he plays. But to not let him play at all is a bit unfair. We have an Xbox, it is set up with timers so it turns off at 5pm. Or you can set a time limit if that suits you better.

I wouldn’t prohibit it but I would put strict limits in place. An hour a day seems reasonable, or a block of 3-4 hours weekly if he prefers. Any more and it becomes a habit, then an addiction (at least with a lot of the lads I know).

My issue with gaming is that it takes away from other things such as reading or riding a bike.
Screens have been proven to alter attention in a negative way so during the week gaming with or without friends is a no. Give a kid the option to read a book or go on the PS4, they will pick the screen. So you need to put the balance right. There are so many hours of free time and it is divided into different blocs.
Just have a chat with your son and tell you you thought about him and are going to entrust him when it comes to online gaming. However it is not something you do during the week. Adults go to the pub in the weekend not every night after work ( well some do but no need to disclose that!)

My eldest is in Y8 now and online gaming has played a huge role in his life for a few years now. He's also at a posh school, which is fairly strict and they don't have any free time to just hang out in school. And they have long days and live all across London.

So the time they spend together and actually talk and laugh at silly things and get to know new sides, is when playing online.

It's such a big part of their social life, and it's really helped my son flourish.

During exams and revision before exams we have limited games to only Friday to Sunday. Otherwise he gets to play Mondays, Wednesdays at weekends.

It's not an expensive hobby. He doesn't buy stuff in-game and most games are a one-off purchase. Some games we've bought for him, some games he plays with his dad, and some games he's saved up for himself with pocket money/ birthday money.

Online gaming is a huge part of my DS's social life ,so I can see why your DS feels left out. We had the rule in year 7 that you could only game with people you know in real life, would that not work for you?

We don't allow gaming Mon - Thurs

We are in Australia and everyone plays online.
It was hard at first for me to accept things are different, and kids nowadays don't play or hang out the way we used to.

The cost is very low, 90$/year, so doable.

We - however - do not let the kids do gaming during schooldays which would be hard for you to enforce if you are not home.

For the online gaming, just tell him to play with the persons he know in real life.