Exceptionally bright 12 year old. Advice needed.

I'm studying A-levels right now, did the new GCSE system (yes I lurk on mumsnet...), but I'd say that getting high grades in the earlier years doesn't mean as much as it might seem at first. They use a different grading system entirely on the year 7-9 kids - sure a mock paper itself probably would be marked on set boundaries, but in years 7-9 they use 'levels' instead of grades.

I can rummage through an English book from year 7 and see multiple 8s and 9s despite the whole text being a slew of grammatical errors and bad decisions, because it's a level 9, not a grade 9. It is definitely indicative of 9 potential, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't mean that she'd get a 9 if she sat the exams now because she hasn't been taught the content.

At least in my school, GCSE science only started to be taught in year 9 - year 7 and 8 are basically taught how to colour in the lines (the majority of our geography lessons). She definitely seems like she's going to get 9s, but just be aware that the 'grades' they're telling you may just be the levels they hand out to them like they did for us.

Speaking exams are also quite different to the other German exams - I took both French and German (taking A-level French right now as well), and for speaking answers on the spot you can literally say the most basic of sentences as long as it answers it and is in the correct tense, so it doesn't really test grammar skills or anything. I wish we were given speaking in year 8 though, we only started being given anything to do with it in year 10.

Onaroll you echo my experience. Dd was accelerated 1year and although intellectually she is v able she was isolated by her academic year group and rejected by the girls in the year she was accelerated to, hence her support group became the boys in the year above.
It is so easy to get carried away thinking the mental stimulation is everything when socialisation and emotional development is equally important. She took French iGCSE in Y7 and passed with an A* but we realise now it doesn’t really count for anything other than to give her more time on other subjects.
We took the decision in Y8 to move her back to her academic year group albeit at a different school and it has been the best thing, she has flourished in personal confidence and she is acing her GCSE’s with little worry.
The most important thing as a parent of a talented child is to provide stimulation outside the classroom. We were able to get a Dd into a great academic school so that intellectually she is surrounded by same age similar level girls, however I believe what she engages in outside school is more valuable.l to personal growth.
There is no need to rush through the curriculum if you are providing enough stimulation outside of school.

I would consider all your local options, state and private.
I am a psychiatrist and would advise thinking v carefully before moving a happy settled child with anxiety related to any domain.
ASD (autism) crossed my mind - has your dd been assessed?

You could do nothing. Let her enjoy her teens and get Great results along the way.
Or
Put more in outside school - tutor in extra subjects / broader than gcse syllabus, get involved in academically focused local societies, take up an instrument etc
Or
See if school can offer more in any way
Or
Consider other schools. I wouldn't move her to another state unless it was really different. COuld you save for private at 6th form?

I was similar to your dd at her age in academic terms. At an ordinary comp. Lessons were very boring. I did loads of extracurricular stuff which kept me busy. BY a level things were lots better, and my school took a risk in letting me take a 5th a level by myself just learning from books/ other sources (it was geology). Late 1990s. that was brilliant for me. I did get an A, but even if I hadn't taken the exams I enjoyed the process.
Peaked early though - these days my brain hardly functions at all. I think I burnt myself out at oxford uni, medical school, working in the NHS and then having kids...

Have you considered extracurricular activities instead of school changes? She is achieving no problem, but activities like cadets can be really beneficial for young people. "Bright" individuals can go quite far and as an Army Cadet instructor I can say they make exceptionally good cadets. She is at the right age to join as well.

Look after her emotional side - it sounds like this is where she needs your help and support, it's as important to success and happiness in life (more so, imo) as a well stimulated exceptional brain.

My advice for you - just look after her.
I have a bright daughter. Presently taking her GCSE's.
From the beginning of KS4 her predicted grades in every subject have been 9's. I personally feel regardless of her ability, it's constant pressure for her.
The first inkling of high expectations on her was in the run up to SATs - she came home and told me she didn't feel like a person anymore just 'a level 6 potential. I spoke to the school - they did ease off : she did get them their level 6's.
So secondary school, achieved very high CAT scores - luckily or unluckily for her she is naturally able in both the maths side & language / humanities scoring pretty much equally in each test.
Her predicted grades being high - she has felt she can never do well , she can only ever do ‘what’s expected or fail ‘. This has resulted in an obsession with grades , anxiety and fear of failure.
When she took her options every subject wanted her, to the point she felt she let teachers down when she chose what she wanted.
This also happened when she chose her A’ level choices but now she has matured , is her own person knew what she wanted to do , she doesn’t feel she’s let anyone down...
In a big school she’s known as the intelligent girl who hangs around with the boys. She in a group with the ‘nerds’ - she has found that boys are far more accepting of her than the bitching she has received from the girls.
I have had meetings , year 10 was a big one - she was made to resit a paper when she ‘only’ got a level 8..as an example of her stresses.. I pointed out that her mental health was far more important than any grade, it was18 mths until her GCSEs & not fair to have perfect expectations from her. I also said although strong she was also sensitive and easily breakable - signs were not good at home. School have been very good since - pressure is off her, they know the person who’s hardest on her - is her now.
All that said - the anxiety is almost gone, she’s happy and supported by both her friendship group and her school.

Just keep a close eye on how your Dd feels , as well as does . If she’s struggling , speak to the school on her behalf.
Dd’s Teachers needed help to recognise her struggle ( as it wasn’t academic) and she was in a much better place when they could.

Sorry to be blunt but I think you're focusing on the wrong issue. She is bright, great, finds school easy, great.

What makes her happy? Does she sleep well? Sounds like she has social anxiety finding other people around her irritating/difficult. I'd watch for eating issues too.

Maybe post on the G&T board but I would be stretching her horizontally. Music, drama, chess, sport. A subject not taught at school - mandarin? coding? There really is little to be gained by racing ahead to GCSE standard in yr8 unless you are going to take the GCSE early and choose a different option at yr10.

Look for stress relieving activities - colouring books, yoga (if she doesn't like sport she might like yoga).

Ds is 14 and is not particularly happy being on the Autism diagnosis pathway. The thing is his difficulties are now having a major impact on his life. We feel that we have no choice but to continue with the assessment.

We felt that Ds would struggle at uni if he wants to go without an official diagnosis. Even his school who were hesitant initially to admit there was a problem are fully on board with the assessment and have said that it is obvious now when you observe him that there are difficulties. Unfortunately Ds's problems are now having an impact on his grades. He is an amazing mathematician and a couple of years ago did get a medal at the junior maths olympiad. His last maths paper was two gcse grades down than the previous one. He is very low and is struggling to understand why he is different to everyone else. Its really upsetting as he has huge potential but is nowhere near achieving it. I have read that a diagnosis is more likely to be useful than not but we are not there yet so I don't know.

I guess for your Dd it is about how well she is coping, when Ds saw the paediatrician she made it clear that if he was coping she probably wouldn't be going down the assessment route, she did say that plenty of people cope with undiagnosed autism. Ds is not coping though so we feel he needs this, if only to help him understand himself better. Like you say it may be something to explore more now that she will be having appointments regarding her hearing issues.

I can totally relate to this.

If she is like my Ds1 then she will have given up the extracurricular as out of her comfort zone and too hard to excel at. I would push very hard to pick something out of her comfort zone she actually enjoys.. A sport, music, anything really.

Pushing the latter has been transformational for DS.

I have a son like this, also in Year 8. He is not stretched. His marks are perfect. He works diligently, but it is not challenged. I tried to push him to an independent school in Year 7 and he refused. It was a solid refusal.

He is so happy in his poxy little comp.

He also suffers anxiety, he seems to be growing out of Tourettes (phew). I think it is lucky in Year 8 and 9 he can concentrate on all the awfulness of puberty and navigating friendships. Tonight he went out with friends and managed to sort the busses when I expected. That is enough challenge for a 13 year old. He is growing into himself.

If he were unhappy I'd intervene, but I have spent many hours worrying about him and to see him happy (if a bit adolescent arsey) is a blessed relief. I'll take the win.

Year 8 is a throw away year, and a bit of Year 9 too if they are bright. GCSE teaching is straight out of the cookbook. I'd encourage her to find hobbies and just let her be. If she wants a move have a look for bursaries. If she is happy let her be. It is a tender age for happiness.

Try to get a bursary or scholarship at your local private school OP

Well, your dd's problems are her misphonia and social anxiety, not her intelligence or academic performance. I wouldn't create extra problems where none actually exist when she already has significant issues to deal with. Unless your dd complains of boredom or frustration at the work she is given, it should surely be a relief she can excel academically without this adding to her already significant stresses. Don't give her the impression that doing well at school is another thing for you all to worry about!!!

Extremely bright + misophonia + social anxiety would make me want to consider the possibility of the autistic spectrum. I have ASD and wasn't diagnosed til adulthood. It would have made my passge through school years a lot easier if I had known earlier, in terms of e.g. understanding myself and the respects in which I was different from peers, understanding and accepting and being able to anticipate my strengths and weaknesses, reasonable adjustments in the school environment, coping mechanisms, etc. not to mention some help with the recognised challenges of ASD combined with puberty. Just a thought. I may be wide of the mark.

Make sure she's well involved with any decisions.

My daughter (now in mid twenties) is very bright and had very difficult teenage years. She was very keen to learn but got bored and went the wrong way. She is fine now and doing very well in her career but is has been an interesting journey. Two things that I wished I had known earlier ; she was not used to having to work hard at anything and found that really difficult and gave up. What turned the corner was her finding out what motivated her and then everything followed on.

Good luck - being very bright and very different is challenging particularly when you are a teenager.

How does she write with both hands over ears?

Sounds like she is happy & thriving where she is. As much as she can. Why would you upset that apple cart.

And she still has challenges: Noise, IT, PE, music, social. Her world is plenty challenging enough for her. She doesn't need extras.

You last paragraph - the one that starts with "Out of interest..." I'd focus on that - supporting her emotional well being, that is what she needs your help with - the academic thing is sorted.

What does she want? What makes her happy?

I have a high achieving DS in yr9 (not straight 100% though, who is very sensitive, and we are looking at what he wants.

He wants to spend time doing physical stuff, martial arts and cadets, and even though those things don't count for anything in ucas etc, it makes him happy.

He is happy to not be in the hothousing environment of a private school. So we'd never move him

Basically, we focus less on the academic and more on the physical/emotional/social skills.

Listen to what your daughter wants. What she loves.

Other than the anxiety, does she seem to be happy at school? I know it is difficult to assess with an anxious child, however if you don't feel that it is a bad environment for her I would probably leave her be and extend her through an additional GCSE in her own time. My dd is at a high achieving school, yet would not say in yr8 that they are on track for a 9, there are too many variables, the numbers getting 9 are quite low and it might not be helpful as people might be inclined to rest on their laurels.

Punxsutawney I hope you manage to get your lovely boy sorted out. I have a primary aged boy who sounds like yours was and who is getting by; I feel for you.

As for OP I think it’s great that your DD is working so well and at such a high level. That said giving answers to 9 standard is a great indication of amazing future potential but is quite different to having covered the syllabus and topic areas/vocab needed to sit a full GCSE. I would sort out the ENT and anxiety issues rather than pushing for more right now as as others have remarked the other issues can pull the rug out from under your feet somewhat.