How much supervision is "normal" to give to Yr 8 (DS) re homework?

It's just that some parents seem to feel that they must manage every aspect of their children's lives.

If the children need it, then it's the parent's job to support them.

My mother used to dictate essays to me when I started secondary school back in the 1970s. It's not a "modern mum" thing at all. It also did me no harm as I got a grade B at GCE English and a grade B at A level English.

Far more harmful would be to let your child produce crap to hand in or not do homework at all.

You have to strike a balance.

Our DS was hopeless so we took control ourselves right from the start of year 7. Each night we literally sat next to him to make sure he did it and, yes, we helped a lot - it was more our work than his.

But we started to stand back in year 8, more in year 9, so by the time he was in year 10, he was in control himself and did everything himself to very high standards. All we did in years 10/11 was to "prod" him to do it.

So, it's not really a "bad" thing to take control and do it yourself, but you have to make sure you start to stand back and transition to him doing it himself. I think the first couple of years at secondary are more about familiarisation and getting used to "big school", so if they're not motivated to do quality homework themselves, then you have to take control.

I haven't told my dd to do homework since y1. (She's now y11)
Her brother (y8) has to check his planner when it's time to study then does his homework. He has a specific study time because if I left it up to him, he'd check at bedtime then find he has work for the next day. He generally does the subjects that he likes best first rather than the ones that are due first. He knows not to leave stuff until the night before because he often doesn't have the stamina to do it in one go and his work will be better quality if split into more than one night. In y7 I had to check his planner and tell him which subject to do so this is a considerable improvement.

I have twins in year 7 - both in different grammar schools. Both of then forget homework. The only difference is its easy to get my son to do homework while my daughter struggles. I have discovered after seeing specialists with my daughter that children can have issues with the working memory part of their brain - it can affect their organisation abilities.

DS in year 8 also.. He is fine with homework but needs reminding at times and revision is really painful - he won't do it independently and if he does it's patchy at best. I really worry about him, as revision will be really important later on.

No tips as Dd1 needed a bit of support in year 7 but by year 8 was totally independent.. I do think it's maturity a lot if it...

I didn’t supervise at all but I would help if asked or if they seemed to be struggling with something. One of mine refused all offers of help though, insisting they wanted to do it by themselves, even if they didn’t quite understand. I wouldn’t know at all what homework they were given and I wouldn’t check. The only thing I would do was nag about not leaving weekend homework to be done on Sunday evening.

My Year 8 DD is exactly like this, she will not knuckle down to homework unless chivvyed. She comes home from school, picks up a book, and doesn't do anything else until reminded, and that includes packing her bag for the next day, taking a shower, brushing her teeth, putting her phone on the charger.
DS did still need a fair bit of chivvying when he was in year 8, but some time about Year 9 /10 he suddenly grew up and took on responsibility himself and I don't even bother to check the online homework app for him anymore, as he is totally on top of it. Only thing we have to remind him about is practicing for his French oral with DH, because a) DS dislikes practicing for the oral, although he is getting better about that, but b) he operates on the principle that DH's life revolves around his, and that DH will be available to practice the oral at whatever time, day or night, that DS decides he wants to do it, and not when it is actually convenient for DH. So he needs to be reminded, fairly constantly, that if he wants to do the oral practice tonight, he might need to do it before maths or whatever else he has on. DH's French is much better than mine, so I can't substitute.

But basically I think they do mature, although DS is now more mature than most, but I don't think he was in Year 8. DD is a lot worse in this regard than DS was, and I do wonder if she has some sort of special need. Alternatively I wonder if it is because she is a summer baby, and not much older than the Year 7's, whereas DS is in the older half of the year.

A thought, what are they doing instead of homework? Do they have screen time during the weeks? Or other things that are more fun..?

I mean, of course it’s easy to not pay attention to homework if there are more tempting things to do.

This sounds exactly like my Y8 DS. So yes, I check online and chivvy him along, don't allow him to leave it till the last minute etc. What I tend NOT to do is read what he's done - don't know whether I should or not. If I did, I'm sure it would mean me offering 'helpful suggestions', critiquing his spelling, grammar etc and undoubtedly causing major kerfuffle. And I tend to think the teachers need to know if he's not got the point, or can't do this particular thing. But I do worry that I should do more checking.
Eddiemairswife - I clearly remember my mum writing my first essay at secondary school more than 40 years ago because I'd never had to do it at primary and didn't know where to start. I was OK at school in the end but sometimes it's important to give a lot of support just to get the ball rolling.

DS was like this in year 8. I would ask if he had homework and he would say no. I would then check his online homework ( luckily parents have access and I have an app on my phone for it) and thee was often something he had missed.
He wasn't doing to deliberately at all as he would do it if I reminded him without much trouble. He does have a diagnosis of ASD/ ADHD.

He is in year 9 now and just since Christmas, DH and I are less involved. He seems to now be doing his homework without much prompting and usually has done all he needs to when we occasionally check. His needs mean that he has a spare 4hrs a week in school though as he misses a couple of lessons that he was not coping with so quite a bit gets done then which is great.

Not sure what is normal, but my DS is year 8 and has minimal input from me. He has the online homework thing that others have mentioned.

My parents didn't involve themselves with my homework at all, other than my mother occasionally asking whether I had any.
Did it make me independent? Possibly, although I don't think the idea that leaving children to sink or swim automatically and magically means they can find the where with all to swim.
Has it made me leave my own children to it? No, because my lasting impression of my parents non-involvement is that they weren't interested/couldn't be bothered to support me.

I wasn't commenting on children who have organisational problems. It's just that some parents seem to feel that they must manage every aspect of their children's lives.

Ditto, Timestwo.
DS is in year 8 and perfectly able to organise himself, his belongings, his homework, revision etc. We also know that if he slacks off and gets into trouble at school, he's able to understand it's cause and effect.

DD, on the other hand, just doesn't have the ability, even in year 10, to manage her studies without support. It's not a lack of backbone or moral fibre, nor is she a shirker or a snowflake, and neither are we helicopter parents. She has ADHD, with executive functioning issues.
Asking why these children can't organise their own homework is the same as asking why someone in a wheelchair can't get up out of it and walk.

eddie Well, lucky you.

I was well able to organise myself, I am a naturally organised person.
Some kids, especially those who didn't get much homework at primary, need help scaffolding and learning what is required.

As it turns out my DD1 has dyspraxia, which in her case also means she can't organise her way out of a paper bag. She is post-school now and can just about manage for day-to-day stuff but still gets screwed by anything unusual.

I found that the swap from virtually no homework in primary to homework every day for every subject is a huge step and in the beginning lots of children struggle to learn to organise themselves. There is no problem with helping setting up a system which works for each child. Not all are born organisers, I only know of one but she has inherited the OCD from her mum and can only cope with a huge organisational set up.

We are already scaling down a lot, DD learned to deal with it, the system we came up with seems to be working.

Why can't these children organise their own homework? I did and so did my children and grandchildren. Are the younger generation too dependent on their parents to organise their lives?

If it's all online, and he doesn't have a planner that he writes things down in, then I think reluctant's calendar idea, or something similar, would be useful for him. You can look at that day's new HW online with him, add it to the calendar, and he can see what needs to be done next. Might make it a bit more concrete for him?

We’ve chosen not to get too involved as I think at this age it’s important to learn to deal with this yourself. Structure time, have a homework timetable, do a weekly plan etc are all things that has to be learnt during these years, or they’ll struggle once they’re older and don’t have the tools.

If they fail now. The worst they can get is detention, but it doesn’t really matter. Later on, if they don’t know how to study - a lot more is at stake.

DS1 makes a plan every Sunday of which subjects to focus on each day, then every day after school he double checks it against the homework given that day. He’s done the same for years. Sometimes he’s tired and he opts for chill time instead, and then he either doesn’t do that homework or he catches up later. Either way, it’s up to him.

DS2 is younger but copying his brother and we’ve backed off there too.

It seems to work. They both get top grades, and of course we help if they ask. But it’s always up to them to ask.

The school doesn’t like the parents helping too much, hence all homework is only communicated to the children.

Thankfully, ds's school use an online portal so you can see what is due and when, plus often the teachers attach the worksheet/ revision guide etc.
DS needs nagging to check it, and left to his own devices would leave it all till the night before, but now has to do everything as it comes in. We check his homework as he is inclined to do the very minimum

I don't know what's normal or not, but we don't interfere at all with the homework of out Y8 DS. His school doesn't have any online resources or any communication with parents, so I couldn't help him even if I wanted 🤣

DD is in Y7 and we found this works best:

We have a huge monthly wall calendar where DD puts which homework is due when, she stehen ticks off when she finished it.

It means she can see what is left undone when she adds more stuff on and learnd fast that it helps doing it when set, not the night before it is due together with 3 other pieces.

We also have to sign her planner and double check that homework is done and ticked off as in some cases she has pieces due in 10 days time (2 weeks timetable and different teacher per subject).

I do check research and essay pieces as DD got Into the habit of doing just the minimum she got away with. Talking about what has to be included or why things can be written more clearly helped her also understanding things better.

Minimal supervision here too for a few years and he's now in Y9. He has fairly good study habits so far but next year will require a fair bit more work. I know how lucky this is from previous experience .

DD1 is Y10, does it now but still needs a bit of prompting, but all good now. I certainly never help or supervise, and I guess she must complete it to an acceptable standard. Started Y7 being forgetful, or even ignoring the work she could not face (like presentation to class), when we got emails from the teachers we started supervising completion a bit. But the endless discussion of WHY it's needed, and how pointless it is still continues. She has ASD and quite bad short-term memory so if it's not written down she'll struggle to recall any details. This year is the first year that it's all set online so I can actually check it, and not have to rely on a few notes in her planner.

DD2 is only Y6, usually does the hw on the day is it set (only two pieces a week for them, and usually a week to complete it). However I am not allowed to ever see or read it, although we do occasionally discuss the work she has to complete.