Am I being too hard on dd (year 10)?

She is in Yr 10.

OP, please stop obsessing over her relative grades over the years.

Support her to enjoy all her studies, but without pressure.

I’ve had a little look at computer science degrees recently as ds enjoys it but hates maths. I got the impression you could do a BTEC and get into most degree courses but some wanted Maths A Level too. With only A Levels, it seemed like you’d be disadvantaged without Maths A Level too.

With History and English as her other too best subjects your dd sounds like my two - more of a humanities type. I would just see how it pans out - if she genuinely doesn’t like Maths and doesn’t feel motivated to push for an 8, maybe the humanities route is for her. Me, my four siblings and my husband all did variations on a history degree and we all have decent jobs so I wouldn’t worry !

If she is considering doing computing at a top uni she will need A-level Maths, so it wouldn't make sense to shut the door on it just yet. However, if she is getting a 7, then A-level shouldn't be out of reach.

I agree though, she should take the help she is being offered. Could you compromise and say she has to go to the first session offered before making a decision?

My DS has no GCSE's above an E. He has some level 1 and 2 BTEC from college but the constant pressure to resit (and for him refail) maths and English has led to him dropping out altogether. He's now doing voluntary work to build some skills before hopefully starting a supported apprenticeship for NEETs with SEN. It's totally counterproductive to put too much pressure on. I know this scenario is different but still. A 7 is in itself a very good grade. Maybe encourage her to take the extra support but not push too much?

Dd also got level 6 at SATS. And a gold award at junior maths challenge! I don’t think it bears much correlation to GCSE.

They have to learn to pace themselves and also set their own priorities. She sounds very motivated and hard working to me.

Computing and English don’t really go together but there’s plenty of time to decide on uni courses. Does she have any idea about careers she might like?

I really think you should let her decide whether to take up extra help to me. She sounds like she knows her own mind.

She has spent hours researching uni courses

Wow. DD is half way thru yr12 & hasn't done any research, made any decision other than 1) Medicine & 2) a vague "I want to be in London!" Yours is miles ahead of mine was at that age. DD's UCAS application is due in 7 months...

DS is in yr10 & we're just hoping he'll make it into college. Clever, yet not a reliable worker. Ultimately, has to find his own motivation.

Computing & English literature is odd combo. Most Uni computing courses would want math A-level. But doesn't have to be A* in that A-level, some would accept B or even C.

In no way is your DD under-working or under-achieving. Chill.

I think there’s a big difference between primary maths and GCSE maths so targets based on SATs are meaningless.

Both our children were very good at Maths at primary, apparently better than English. Now in year 10, dd is struggling a bit with maths and I’d be very happy with a 7. Her strengths are the humanities - History, English, RS etc and she’s likely to get 9s in them. In the last couple of years her interests have developed in these areas - unsurprising really as both parents are History graduates.

Ds is heading the same way, loves History and doing well at it, even though he hated any sort of extended writing in primary. He’s also finding maths hard too.

I think we typecast kids too young. I’ve really enjoyed seeing dd’s interests develop over the last year or two.

So wish they hadn’t buggered about with the marking scheme. Some people already seem to be forgetting that 7 is equivalent to the old A pass. Because there are now 8/9s, of course people fixate on those and expect their students to achieve those grades. They’re the equivalent of the old A*, which very few extremely gifted students ever actually achieved. The new system has unnecessarily confused and skewed perceptions.

Our son is predicted 7 maths, which was reflected in his mock. His teacher still insists he’s capable of more but I’ve no intention of pushing him. He’s a fairly rare thing, a happy teen, no angst, hard working but reasonably relaxed about it all and I’d like it to stay that way. With 10+ exams to work for, I think individual subject teachers sometimes forget just how much information their students are
having to absorb across all the range and the sheer hours of work involved.

Just because a youngster shows natural talent in a particular subject doesn’t mean they enjoy or want to pursue it either. Our experience is that they usually come into their own and really develop their subject passions when they move on to A levels, so at IGCSE stage, passes that secure their chosen sixth form place are good enough for us. They’ll find their own way, what’s best for them, when they begin to specialise.
We’ve known a couple of youngsters who’ve crumpled under the weight of everyone else’s unrealistic expectations. Very sad and difficult to come back from.

If she doesn't understand that you have bigger worries than a 7 in maths

If this is the first time she has found something difficult it could well be that she thinks it is easier to not try. Working hard at something difficult is a skill like anything else.
Lunchtime sessions can feel like a punishment rather than support, their day is very busy and this is precious down time.
Computing is very maths based, a lot of courses so for A-level maths to reflect this. If she is interested in perusing that angle she should speak to her computing teacher and look up some uni brochures.
Maths is definetly not something is you can either do or not do! This drives maths teachers to distraction, it is a skill which everyone can improve in and is not an either or.
Final point, 7 is an old school A. This is still a great mark and will not affect any future options.

If she is thinking about going into computing and wants to do anything to do with coding then a good maths GCSE will be a big help. It’s a competitive field.

I would possibly step back this year and not push, then see where she is by October of year 11. If she isn’t hitting a 7/8 by then up the pressure a little. All you will achieve at the minute is turning her off maths and she still has over a year to go yet. Would she consider a maths tutor at home to try and boost her confidence or go through exam style questions with her?

I’m a teacher. Students these days are under a ridiculous amount of pressure. I see them in tears all the time.

My A level class tell me that to get good grades they basically don’t have a life and spend all their time working.

I think it’s appalling how much pressure they are under. All this stuff about safeguarding, but no one safeguards their mental health.

I would ease off the pressure on her tbh.

"She just keeps saying there’s no point as she can’t do the work"

It's always worthwhile setting your own goals. Don't give up.

Just because it's jolly difficult is not a reason to not do something.
The most satisfying achievements are the ones that were super hard for you, regardless of whether they compare badly or well to someone else's grades.

Those are messages that I'd promote. That said, I'm not one to crack the whip. I simply don't have mental or physical energy for it. My kids know they have have to have own initiative. I refuse to be stressed out by or proud of any of their achievements (under or over).

DC often got v low sounding % in tests: what % are classmates getting? She may be doing phenomenally well on 60%, and “working at” 7 now means she will get an 8 in 15 months time.

“She says that she finds lessons easy but when they get tests there’s stuff in the papers she hasn’t done.

They often use existing test papers that include things they haven’t covered, with resulting low % marks.

This could be undermining her confidence?

Have a look at what courses might interest her at Uni. Look up some actual Unis and courses and let her browse some she likes the look of. Then check the course requirements, grades and subjects.

She doesn’t have to pick her course and Uni now but working towards something she is interested in rather than chasing ‘targets’ might be more meaningful.

Children don’t develop academically along a straight upwards line. And their interests and abilities change and grow. You say she was being encouraged into Maths A level ‘a year or so’ ago? My Dc was identified G&T in English in Yr 7 and 8. Got a grade 6 at GCSE (8 for language though), but is currently heading for A*/A in Maths, Physics and Chemistry at A level.

Loosen your grip on targets.

And check whether Business and Computing are facilitating subjects for the kind of courses she is interested in before picking them at A level.

How long would she go to extra maths? Rest of this term, end of year, all the way to GCSE?

I would encourage her to go. Just having someone else explain can really help. A lot of students find it easier to work on maths with a bit of help in a supportive session than slog it out at home alone.

It's not so much about meeting the target grade IMO, if she wants to do computing & business then the more maths knowledge she secures now the better.

Maybe she is just being realistic, although if this is the only subject where she needs help and has been offered extra class then she should take it imo.
But if she is already doing lots of extra study and needs her breaks more, then she will prioritise what is important.
I have the same problem but at the other end level 4/5.

tbh, it sounds like you are projecting onto her. Your (perception that you) missed opportunity has become part of the pressure put on her.

And sounds like she doesn't need that pressure from you at all in order to try her hardest.

There's a whole other school of thought where basically parents put pressure on "because we know you can do still better" even when the kids are already high achieving. It's not my style but some find it works well in their family. Pressure is a vote of endorsement rather than setting up for failure (is the theory).