Opinion please! School absence due to parent working abroad

OP, I would like to see more flexibility exercised with regard to absence during term time. I do think that there are circumstances where travel can be more educational than being in school, and if a child's attendance is generally good, I don't think it would be unreasonable for HTs to authorise some non-essential absences.

However, I can completely see why the HT would think that a couple of weeks in Australia to accompany you on a work trip isn't exceptional. That doesn't mean that you can't go - just means that you'll need to suck up the fine if you get one.

Before you take the kids out of school, though, I do think you need to reflect seriously on whether you are taking them for their own benefit or as your support. The former is reasonable, the latter is not.

Dh works abroad a lot, we have requested to travel with him and always been fined - £60 per parent.

OP .... I lost any respect I might have had for you when you said to a previous poster

Not get to know the circumstances then? No wonder your husband works away so much

I'd likely take my kids out, the fine is minimal but I know they have no other absences so it wouldn't be a problem but it would depend what year of secondary to me too. KS3, not too bothered, KS4 at this time of year, no way!

But you didn't want anyone's opinions, you just want us to say the HT is BU..... oh of course they are not

Posted too soon: a business trip you want your family to come on is not exceptional circs. Many people working in education would agree that foreign trips can be educational but they need to draw a line somewhere.

This is a very odd thread and I’m. It sure what the OP wants.
Schools have rules about absences which apply unless there are truly exceptional circumstances.

You might think these are 'exceptional circumstances' and I've no doubt they are to you and your family but working away is not exceptional - lots of people do it.

When you signed your kids up to attend their schools you agreed to abide by their rules.

If you want to take them away with you then you have to accept that you might have to pay a fine. It's really as simple as that. You can try all the fancy arguements you like but it won't change things ( and quite right too)

I'm with @HerculesMulligan.

2 weeks on the other side of the world will mostly be spent struggling with jet lag and feeling crap.

This is by no means the holiday of a lifetime nor exceptional circumstances and you are likely to get fined by the LEA whether you agree or not.

Is it just me that's hoping the primary school will fine him as well as the secondary?

I agree that the OP is coming across as very controlling. Anyone who disagrees is clearly wrong and no other opinion is being considered, despite asking AIBU? If you are sure YANBU then why ask at all?

HerculesMulligan that's exactly what I was thinking. I think op is very controlling and worried about giving his wife and kids two weeks of freedom.

If he's spending £3500 on flights and same on accommodation then surely that's money that could go on a European summer holiday. I also wonder if hes a bit of a miser spend money when it suits but not generally for wife and kids benefit.

I missed the bit where OP said he couldn't afford holidays abroad before; I just thought they hadn't chosen them, possibly for mental health problems.

In that case, it's incredibly silly to now have a huge benefit in kind tax bill. Even if you are only paying 20% tax, you will be paying 20% on their very expensive flights. That money could easily be used for a cheaper abroad holiday in the school holidays.

You asked for opinions, I'm sorry you're getting ones that don't agree with what you think...

If it means that much to you then you'll see the fine as a part of the cost of the trip and worth paying.
I'm sure your kids will get a lot out of going but it is effectively a holiday for them (doesn't matter what you're doing) so you shouldn't be surprised the school is treating it the same as they have to everyone else. Go, enjoy it, make sure your kids do any work set, pay the fine if you get one. Life goes on.

OP, the whole fine thing is frustrating, but I can see why it was implemented in the first place. I don't have a problem with the fine, more with school's attitudes. We.missed 1.5 days last Easter (1.5, ,not 15) in order to save thousands visiting dh's mum who'd lost her dh and daughter during the year. I knew school wouldn't authorise, so I didn't even ask. I know my circumstances aren't so special, that basically we left early as a money saving exercise. Secondary were fine. Standard letter on attendance. Primary, I got a very snooty, self righteous letter from the Head. That annoyed me.

You're coming across as very hard work OP., do you create such unnecessary drama in all aspects of life?

How are you unaware of the rules about term time holidays?

It's not a science, no one can say for sure in advance whether you'll be fined, if you're decided to go then go and face the possible consequences it's no more complicated than that.

Like a PP I'd be interested to know what your special skills are.

The antagonistic nature of the OP's replies make me wonder if this is about giving his family a marvellous experience or being so controlling that letting them out of his sight for a fortnight is an impossibility.

FFS op get a grip. You are not the first parent ever to work abroad and not the first to go to Australia to work. Yes it's very exciting but get real - 10 days for a family holiday to other side of world ??!!

The HT is perfectly right in saying they would not authorise absence. If you want to take the fine then go ahead.

If so, type of work do you do that is so niche that a) nobody else can do it in Australia and b) doesn't pay you enough to afford holidays abroad (not that there's anything wrong with holidays in the U.K., more that it's a very very odd combination) but c) will pay for your whole family to go out for two weeks?

Interesting point!

Does your DD’s school not have a buddy system where another child and your DD have to help one another catch up if one of them is absent? Can you not get another child to send your DD work every day? Of course the other child would need compensation for this.

I’ve never heard of a school where one student is asked to parent another student.

The views of mnetters are irrelevant. The head has said it will be unauthorised whatever his personal feeling. Either accept that, and any consequential fine, or go alone. Sorry but all this self justification is not going to make any difference.

No wonder your husband works away so much.

What a childish and unpleasant comment, OP.

I'm with the HT. it's not exceptional and 2 weeks is a long time out secondary. Prepare for a fine and to have the attendance officer on your case when you return. What is their attendance like generally?

Gosh, well the benefit in kind tax implications will need addressing. It certainly will not be free for you to take them if you are in the UK. I'd budget for 20, 40 or 50% accordingly depending on what tax band you are, plus all of their food etc. Are you all in one hotel room?

It's baffling your work have agreed to this. They must realise how batshit crazy it is for you to take your entire family on what is a stupidly short trip to Australia for the sake of your own mental health.

I also think you need to plan for what will happen when your children no longer wish to do "everything" as a family. Your year 8 will grow up and want her own life. You can't keep her a young child doing everything as a family just for you.

Is your wife allowed any time outside the family group?

You are also leaving yourself very vulnerable in today's market if you are not properly committing yourself to working hard and decent hours for your employer. All it's going to take is someone else to come along who is willing to do that and you will be out.

"The law will have been carefully worded to give HTs some discretion"

is a bit weaker than what actually makes happened - the law saw written to give HTs total discretion (and you'll note that this law raised no complaints or campaigns from heads or teachers - who are not known for keeping quite about education changes when disliked)

Your HT has decided that a termtime trip abroad to fit parents desire to take whole family a 'marvellous experience' isoliy by any other name and will not authorise it. And applies same standards to all pupils - you really can't just say that only clever/privileged/healthy pupils get time off in term time.

If your MH prevents travel then see OH (if employer as one) to see about proper adjustments.

Because if this is the start of regular travel, then you really cannot be taking your family. You need to be able to do your job, and that might mean changing your job so there is no travel.

Get it cancelled and take the marvellous family trip in the holidays instead

Can you not go for longer than two,weeks? The jet lag in that direction can be overwhelming.

I think it's fine to take them out of school although I don't see how it will be any more educational than other people's holidays. Nor are you more deserving of taking your children out of school because they have never been abroad before.

However it is a great opportunity and I think you should embrace it but not complain about the fine.

Does your DD’s school not have a buddy system where another child and your DD have to help one another catch up if one of them is absent? Can you not get another child to send your DD work every day? Of course the other child would need compensation for this.