Opinion please! School absence due to parent working abroad

The Op has posted on another thread confirming their maleness.

Regardless of what happens with this trip OP (although it all sounds very specific and dare I say peculiar) but it can hardly be sustainable nor indeed healthy for you or your family, particularly the children, to be so emeshed into keeping your MH stable. It's not fair to shape their lives around your MH. As a father surely your duty is to do all you can to stabilise your own MH so it has minimal impact on your children.

Not sure whether the OP is coming back now but just in case.

Take them if you want.
But pay the fine.
Your circumstances are not special in the slightest.
However, your attitude does make you exceptional.
But not in a good way.
My opinion. Agree or disagree.
You asked for opinions, damned if I know why.

But it isnt a family holiday its a worktrip for you

Doing everything today isnt healthy - neither is taking your family with you OP. I know you are wary of your mental health but the strain this must put on your wife and children is immense

But sometimes circumstances dictate that these things need to happen during term time.

Circumstances haven’t dictated the OP’s family’s holiday choice. Their choice to take the whole family has. It’s avoidable.

Didnt know it was that trendy

It's a holiday not educational 😂 Just pay the fine and have a good time.

It wasn't having a wife that made me think Ops a man either. More general attitude and arrogance.

I wonder if HT also picked up it was as more about controlling the family, lack of concern for childrens education rather than having a good time as a family.

I suppose one way of looking at this, is that children get 13 weeks holiday entitlement. If they have a 2 week term time holiday they now have 15 weeks holiday. Where I work I get 5 weeks holiday entitlement. If I go on holiday for 7 weeks, employer may agree to it, but would have to take 2 weeks unpaid. In the same way you get fined for term time holidays.

Shaft is your Y6 DC missing SATs due to your holiday?

Be honest, it's a holiday. You may be working, but for the kids it's a holiday. During term time. Take them and pay the fine.

But don't sit there trying to justify it because you have MH difficulties - it's not about you it's about them. And don't try to justify it as they deserve it because they've never been abroad before. Hundreds of thousands of children have never travelled abroad before - there is no human right to a foreign holiday.

There is no need for them to go with you. It'll be fab I agree. But it's really not a need.

It’s £60 per child per parent going up to £120 after 21 days. So for 2 weeks absence it could be £1200 per one child if paid straight away.

I’m also wondering what the OPs job is. Because he seems to have a lot of difficulty following a discussion and dealing in a polite and logical way with other people’s points. As well as an unpleasant tendency to males personal attacks when he has no defensible point.

Which would rule out so many professional jobs.

It also makes me suspect, as a PP said, that he has control issues and cannot cope when people disagree with him, hence the reason for wanting to take his wife and children with him.

This makes sense of his inability to accept the school’s decision and also his conduct on the thread.

He’s also slightly paranoid - “ so the Vast majority of people think I should be fined “ . No mate, just most people think your circumstances aren’t exceptional . What the school do is up to them.

And the weird insistence that he is somehow free thinking and independent.

It makes me wonder how many other things his wife and children have to do ( or not do ) because of ‘daddy’s mental health’ and the family mantra of ‘we do everything together ‘.

If MrsTheGreenEye is reading, you might want to check this out:
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Couldn’t agree more. Thank goodness we have 13 weeks of school holidays a year in which to have those experiences.
Of course. But sometimes circumstances dictate that these things need to happen during term time. I couldn't take my children away for three months entirely within holiday time

It's a term time holiday. Accept this and pay the fine 🤷‍♀️ have you checked how much free time you will have if you are working?

shaft I agree that trips abroad can be valuable and educational....that's not been in question.

It's the Op's insistence that they are too important to abide by the rules and possibly encounter a fine that's the problem.

Shaft of wit I think OP is getting a hard time because he/she made some pretty snide comments to a PP and has an attitude that the world revolves around him/her and that their life really is exceptional and the rules simply shouldn't apply to them.

PPs have just been stating facts but OP reeeeeally doesn't like that.

School isn't the be all and end all, and quality family time / new experiences can be worth so much more than a week or two of year 8.

Couldn’t agree more. Thank goodness we have 13 weeks of school holidays a year in which to have those experiences.

Yes OP you seem v prickly and that comment about why a PP's husband must work away was rude, uncalled for and pretty bitchy tbh.

I feel for your wife actually, sometimes it's nice having a little break from one another in a relationship... generally when they get back you're soooo happy to see them - it's like a reset button! But of course, your need to have them with you 24/7 trumps all of that.

Anyone else slyly hoping concerned that because the children have never been abroad they might not have their passports and the passport office might be busy and not get them sent out in time??

We're taking our (y6 and y4) children overseas for 3 months soon (some of which coincides with school holiday, of course, but must not). There is no doubt in my mind that this will be a positive, educational experience for them -far better than the endless SATs prep that my older child would otherwise be doing.
I don't care how exceptional it is considered by others - it is the right thing for our family, for a number of reasons.
I'm sorry you're getting such a hard time in this thread OP - can't quite believe the attitudes of most posters here. School isn't the be all and end all, and quality family time / new experiences can be worth so much more than a week or two of year 8.

Just because OP has a wife I don't think we should automatically think he is a man.

It wasn’t having a wife that made me assume he was a man.

OP.
The HT has to follow the rules. These are not exceptional circumstances.

For the money you are spending taking the family out of school to Oz you could go and experience a different culture different culture, including language, in France or Spain. They have museums there too. And it could support their MFL learning too.

(ps For a top set child, your DC's chosen options seem to cut out a lot of A level routes).

Just because OP has a wife I don't think we should automatically think he is a man.

I think we can safely think that they are a pompous and argumentative person though.

Btw, I'm not a lover of lots of school rules (and have home educated due to this). In this situation though my sympathy is entirely for the HT having to deal with OP's unpleasant antagonist attitude.

Also, this "Being together as a family is hugely important to us all, we do everything together" sounds on the unhealthy side of familial relationships. If you have DC old enough to be in secondary school, this just isn't sustainable, nor wise, IMO.

Ok, so you have a great opportunity to take your family on a holiday and you have taken it.

Lots of parents would, lots of parents do, as human beings, lots of heads and teachers are understanding if that too.

But when push comes to shove it is not an exceptional circumstance. It’s a great opportunity to be able to afford an experience you wouldn’t normally. Exactly like every other term time holiday.

Personally I disagree with the governments move to issue fines, quasi-criminalising people who have not been convicted of anything. Where there is a persistent absence issue the school welfare should address it.

But whatever her opinions, the Head can’t just make stuff up to suit your version of your term time holiday.

Write to your MP about the principle of fining parents, the eroding of parents rights or whatever.

But don’t expect the Head to lay herself open to lying, accusations if favouritism, complaints to the governors (“‘snot fair, GreenEyes kids went to Aus and they didn’t get fined”) when other holidaying parents get to hear of it, etc.

Because there is nothing in tne guudelines / rules that makes this anything other than a term time holiday.

I hope it is a great work experience and you all have a wonderful trip.

Milkit I was thinking that even though the Primary School HT had said go for it, it will be a fantastic opportunity for Minigreeneye, it does not mean they will officially authorise the absence.