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Original poster

I want to help my sons, but I have NO IDEA what they're doing

106 replies

JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 21:33

I'm so sorry - I don't really know where to begin.

I'm not from this country - my home country (USA) had a very different way of doing things, and that was decades ago. Also, I work away from home every other week, so I am not around as much as I should be. DH is the stay-at-home parent and I'm afraid he's not able to help much. He just says that everything was different when he was there and he left school right after his GCSE's or whatever they used to be called. He's not likely to be very engaged for a variety of reasons like depression and social anxiety.

So, I am trying to get my head around things. I am ashamed to say that I let things go their own course. I went to some parents nights and I read the school reports (I had to ask what the numbers meant.) But I am not here.

DS1, who is in year 10, has entered adolescence with a vengeance and retreats to his room. He is bright but a bit lazy. We got a call from his maths teacher saying that he has done NO WORK at all in weeks. No assignments completed and his exercise book is mostly blank. He's not paying attention.

There is no textbook. I have managed to log in to the VLE and the MathsWatch websites (DS didn't know how to log into MathsWatch!) I'm trying to get a grip on what he is supposed to be doing. If there were a textbook like I had at his age/level, I could flip through to see where the class is and flip back to the point where DS seems to have lost track and then we could work through the difference over the half term, or at least attempt to. There are five assignments on Mathswatch and that is all there is. I assume his exercise book is supposed to contain the notes of the daily lessons but it doesn't. What is there is illegible chicken scratches.

I have also tried to figure out what he's doing in other classes. I'm not sure what he is doing in Science or History or Literature or Spanish. Again, textbooks would be helpful. Like, if the current Spanish chapter was dealing with a particular verb tense or whatever.

There are "resources" on the VLE and they link to various pdf's and scans of revision material.

Obviously, DS1 isn't exactly keen to fill me in on everything. We want to tackled maths, first, but I need to know what he's supposed to be doing in all the subjects and try to keep an eye on what he is doing. There doesn't seem to be an awful lot of homework. He's not being sent home with a page of quadratic equations to factor or whatever.

DS7 is in year 7 and I gather he's a keen student who is applying himself diligently so there's probably nothing crucial with him but I still wish I knew what they were doing!

What do I do? Where do I start?

OP posts:
IJustWantToWearDungarees · 14/02/2019 23:39

I would be tempted to meet with the HoY and just ask for:

  1. the exam board for each subject;
  2. two things in each subject he needs to do to get up to speed over half term;
  3. any appropriate websites or resources they can suggest to help do that.

For Maths, that may well just be page references in the set of three revision guides he has.

Make sure you get the HoY's email address if poss, so you can ask for regular updates going forward and check he isn't slipping any more. And maybe introduce some sanctions at home based on that feedback? If you can get your son to work with you on these, based on what he agrees is reasonable, he may be more likely to stick with it.

Good luck!

clary · 14/02/2019 23:37

I wrote a long post them lost it!

Summing up: no coursework apart from in Tech.

All exams in summer next year (May-June).

Mocks (practice exams) in Dec or Jan.

Very few past papers as all GCSEs have now changed to new exams. Last year was the first year for most, grade 9-1 (9 is best grade; 4 is a grade to get you to sixth form, but you need 6 at least to do the subject at A level. If you don't get 4 in maths and English you will have to retake.

For English, find out what books he is doing, get the revision guides (Shakespeare, probs R&J, Victorian novel probs Christmas carol, 20th century, probs Inspector Calls.) Go through the tasks, find some quotes and learn them.

MadCatEnthusiast · 14/02/2019 23:35

A bit surprising your son hasn't done much though. He sounds bright if he's still in higher sets so once you get this sorted, I'm sure he'll do well.

To be fair, GCSEs were only reformed a couple of years ago so there are still people unsure about it.

Once you speak with the head of year and know what exams/exam boards he'll do, you're good as he has a year and a few months to learn it all

WilsonandNoodles · 14/02/2019 23:34

Its probably worth checking when he actually started his GCSEs. A lot of secondarys now do a 2 year ks3 and 3 year ks4 so they have more time to cover the gcse content.

Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:20

So the syllabus is one thing and the scheme of work is more akin to the lesson plan. I understand that and I can ask for it.

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 14/02/2019 23:20

The school will have the information you need, you've just missed it because you're under a lot of stress - he's only in his second term, you'll be fine Thanks

Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:18

If he flubs his gcse's, I know the way to do an end run around that obstacle and still attend an American University. It is perfectly possible to be an utter screw up at age 16 in America and still graduate from a good American University. I wouldn't take it for granted that bad gcse's = learning a trade. Although he may have to work at something more menial until he is mature enough to go to university.

OP posts:
EducatingArti · 14/02/2019 23:18

You really need the schemes of work for each subject and school year you are interested in. The syllabus for key stage 3 ( years 7-9) or a particular GCSE is fixed but it is totally up to individual schools to decide what order to teach the different topics in.

EducatingArti · 14/02/2019 23:16

Very few people take 4 or 5 A levels now since they scrapped the AS level as a half way point and made the whole thing graded on the year 13 exams alone. Most now just do 3.

Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:15

BartonHollow that sums up what I do know about the gcse's. I just don't know what they're doing at school or have an idea how to keep track of what they should be doing now.

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 14/02/2019 23:13

@JustGettingStarted

Basically as far as I have gathered the American system is your Grade Point Average over all 4 years of school plus your score on the SATS at 17 gets you what you need for College

Here your grades at GCSE across all subjects determine what avenue you can take at 16

If it's A Level you choose 4/5 subjects but it depends on how well you did on GCSE as to whether you can take them. The A Levels you take are usually relevant to the university course you want.

If you don't do so well at GCSE there are a variety of vocational routes you can take

Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:11

My husband isn't going to step up. I can delegate some of the tasks involved, once I have a handle on what needs to be done. He's not going to take any initiative on this.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:10

I haven't said that the school is at fault.

OP posts:
Secretlifeofme · 14/02/2019 23:09

Ah, cross post. You should have been sent the information if you couldn't attend though.

Secretlifeofme · 14/02/2019 23:08

Yes, I understand that, but every school I have ever taught in has held information evenings or at the very least sent info home. Haven't you had any of that? If not, the school is at fault IMO.

pallisers · 14/02/2019 23:08

I have a lot of sympathy OP. I am an irish woman rearing children in the US and it is a big culture shock navigating secondary school/high school stuff. The continueous assessment/grading/GPA and honors/Ap etc all knocked me for a loop for my eldest. At least the US curriculum is actually quite like the irish one in many ways.

And look, I know this is none of my business but I think your dh should also step up here. he is the SAHP and he is from the UK. I took a break from work when my middle one was in sophomore year - she had a lot of issues and needed support. But the support you give as a sahp in the teen years is just this kind of thing - staying on their backs about homework and study, staying in touch with teachers, talking to other parents about good tutors if needed etc.

Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:07

There was an evening, but I was out of town then. I am out of town a lot - at least half of the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustGettingStarted · 14/02/2019 23:06

I'm very uninformed about gcse's because I am from another country. I have asked my husband about them but he just goes on a tangent about how he failed his and then says everything's different, now. I have some idea of what they are, but I've never gone through them myself or vicariously through anyone else.

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 14/02/2019 23:01

@EducatingArti

Thanks. I thought it had gone that way, but wasn't sure

EducatingArti · 14/02/2019 22:59

A lot of coursework ( projects) have been scrapped now. There are none in Maths. It is all on the exams at the end of year 11. Science has practical work done under supervision of the teacher in school. None of the GCSE's are modular any more.

Secretlifeofme · 14/02/2019 22:59

I would make an appointment to speak to the head of maths.

As a teacher, I hope you don't mind my saying but you seem remarkably ill -informed about the GCSEs. Did the school not have an information evening last year to explain it all to parents, or a pack of information that was sent home?

YouBumder · 14/02/2019 22:52

My eldest is only in first year at high school but all their assignments, work, tests etc go on an app which is really helpful as you can see what they’ve to do and tick them off if they don’t tick off that they’ve done it! Doesn’t help immediately but may be worth suggesting to school? It’s callef show my homework. Sorry not RTFT so sorry if it’s come up already

BartonHollow · 14/02/2019 22:52

Complicated there was a time when you could sit subjects in pieces called modules which then added up to your grade

I think maybe Gove (Education Secretary As was) scrapped it and it all went back to end of year 11 exams. Not certain.

He will sit his Mocks (Practice Run Exams) in January.

In the mean time he will get projects called coursework that counts toward his final grade, and what the projects consist of vary according to subject.

In Science it's can be like a practical or having to prove something via research and having statistics to back it

For English you'd have like a project on a book you like and essays/creative writing Also giving a presentation.

For IT we had to do a project for each different application (Windows) that showed we could use it. That will have changed now I'm sure.

DEFINITELY go and chat to his Head Of Year I'm sure they'll be able to allay a lot of worries

Cwenthryth · 14/02/2019 22:50

‘Paper’ in the UK generally refers to a written exam, as compared to the US where it generally refers to a homework/coursework assignment.

EducatingArti · 14/02/2019 22:49

His GCSE'S will be from May onwards next year.
CGP do lots of inexpensive revision books too, so you may find others there that help when you know what exam board and syllabus he is doing for subjects.

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