I want to help my sons, but I have NO IDEA what they're doing

Well done. Consistent behaviour change can't come about without their buy-in and we can't expect them to change their motivation etc if the adults in their lives aren't willing to change theirs at all.

I find it easier to think about a work situation with my dc and then apply what I would do there and it removes some of the emotion and I realize it is mostly to do with what I'm doing or not doing as much as it is them.

We are going through this with Year 10 DS.

The school have put in their maths intevention which is basically a 6th form helper - useless.

He is on course to get a 7 but needs an 8 to do A-Level maths.

I threatened him with tutoring but he has chosen instead to do 4-5 pages of the CGP revision book a weekend/holiday day and he writes it all down and teaches the topic to me if it is particularly difficult. Since we started that he has really improved and we have a really good parents evening.

To do it though I have had to give up a lot of my time - it wont work without support and someone needs to be doing that whether you, dh or a tutor -there's no way round that. 15 year olds in this position aren't going to self motivate no matter what some people say.

Sorry that was a rushed, multi tasked reply and came out a bit rude.

Yes, educating, I think we were talking at cross purposes. I was specifically referring to my experience with science SoW, rather than maths, as ultimately OP needs to cover the whole range of subjects. I appreciate they will be shorter for some, ours were quite involved affairs linking parts of different units together, etc, so contained irrelevant info for parents. Maybe OP's school does it differently.

If the op just started at the beginning of the revision book her son would end up getting bogged down in some of the harder numerical and algebraic material (solving fractional equations with unknowns in the denominators anyone?) before any geometry. This just doesn't work.
And I hadn't suggested that.
Well, I'll agree that you've probably seen more varied examples of Sow than I have, it sounds as if I was quite lucky in being in departments which preferred detailed Sow and lesson plans (and I do know the difference).
I'd be very worried about DS engaging in lessons if he cannot describe anything he has done in class by the end of the day, or have even an aim/heading for the lessons. In those cases I'd be going in to see the HoY/HoD to ask why it hadn't been picked up during lessons at all. If DS can't be bothered to put that much effort in, I don't fancy OP's chances of catching him up, unfortunately. Sorry, OP.

Why is he not interested? Perhaps you should sit down with him and have a conversation. Maybe he needs goals? How much homework does he have? If he is depressed I suggest finding a therapist or counsellor in the area who can help. What are his reports like? Are they a true reflection of his ability or not?
Has he always been like this? It might be a idea to see if you can find a tutor.
Have a word with the teacher too.

No idea why that posted twice.

I seem to have killed the thread, anyway

I'm not worried about the history or English - he's interested and it probably comes naturally to him

OP , if he is taking AQA English Language then the skills he needs to demonstrate in the reading sections of the two papers (each worth 50% of the total marks) are very specific and do not come naturally to teenagers. He will need to know how to analyse use of language, use of structure, and be able to compare how different viewpoints are presented. All this for unseen texts. It's really interesting stuff if you are an English specialist and / or a passionate reader, but please don't assume that it will come naturally to your DS.

I'm not worried about the history or English - he's interested and it probably comes naturally to him

OP , if he is taking AQA English Language then the skills he needs to demonstrate in the reading sections of the two papers (each worth 50% of the total marks) are very specific and do not come naturally to teenagers. He will need to know how to analyse use of language, use of structure, and be able to compare how different viewpoints are presented. All this for unseen texts. It's really interesting stuff if you are an English specialist and / or a passionate reader, but please don't assume that it will come naturally to your DS.

Ps. I also tutor sciences which is a bit different as the topics are all unitised.
In that instance it would be fine to know that ' last term we covered B1, C1 and P8' and then work from the revision books, which is indeed what I do. So perhaps we are just talking at cross purposes because of different subject experience.

Sigh.
I tutor as my full time job. I ask parents to ask schools for schemes of work. I currently have 2 schemes of work that are each only 3 or 4 sides of A4, two where there is a summary that is again just a few sides of A4, one where the teacher has just said 'we are covering the foundation syllabus this year' and the students mum has to keep on emailing to ask "which topics this half term" which I would imagine is much more time consuming and annoying than just giving me the plan. Then I've had one teacher who has just ticked headings from a photocopy of the chapters of a text book which is rather a pain and has meant that I've had to go and actually buy that text book to see exactly what 'equations and formulae' means as it won't be the entire syllabus on equations and formulae', as it needs to be learned in stages and each text book and each school divides the stages differently.
If a teacher feels that their scheme of work ( as opposed to individual lesson plans) is too detailed and contains too much unnecessary information, then they could just provide the summary pages.
I totally agree with you that the op does not need details of individual lesson plans.
I find it makes a massive difference when I know what students have actually covered rather than what they think they have covered. They will be adamant they haven't covered expanding double brackets. Then they get it wrong on their next test and had I known I could have covered it and they would have done better. I could cover it anyway of course, but I it is too time consuming to cover everything that might have come up!
I can plan my lessons much more effectively and the students tend to do better too if I know what they have and are covering in school and in what order.
With a cumulative subject like maths it really matters which order you study things in as you build on prior knowledge all the time and you can't just do things in any old order. Schools separate each area into chunks and do ' easier chunk algebra' then 'easier chunk geometry' before the harder chunks in each but different schools put different things in each chunk.
Revisionon books put all the algebra together, all the geometry together, all the statistics together etc which is not the way in which you would teach it. If the op just started at the beginning of the revision book her son would end up getting bogged down in some of the harder numerical and algebraic material (solving fractional equations with unknowns in the denominators anyone?) before any geometry. This just doesn't work.
The op has already said her son has no record of what he has covered in class and doesn't remember. She has also said she wants to help him catch up with the work he has already covered in class. She needs to know what this is.
The simplest solution is to ask for a copy of the scheme of work, or at least the summary pages as this is a document that already exists and requires little work from the teacher. If the teacher thinks this is not appropriate they can of course provide it in a different form, but the op does need to know, for maths at least what has and is being covered and when

educating I might agree with you apart from a couple of things - my SoW have always been pretty detailed, after taking into account worksheets and resources (eg having a brief synopsis of video clips etc), and tbh OP would be better with the summary info in the guide books, as this doesn't assume prior knowledge in the same way a SoW written for colleagues would. But I concede that this may be different where you are.
Also, if DS cannot even identify what he's doing in class, I think having all that extra info to look ahead through would mean that OP may well assume they're at a different place in the scheme to which they actually are. You also know that lessons may be taught in a slightly different order to take account of availability of teaching spaces on a certain lesson, and resources which may need sharing. If OP has a reference to which points are being taught that term it cuts down on the info overload. At its core, he only needs to know what is in the revision book, baring in mind they will need to do this for every subject, by the sounds of things, streamlining info makes more sense to me. Again, I concede that you at have a different opinion. But you know the old phrase - keep it simple, stupid! I've taught Sciences since the 1990s, tutored and also marked GCSEs for most of that time too. With some maths and English when required. The SoW are not written with parents/pupils use in mind, but the revision guides are. SoW for each subject would just overload OP in my opinion. Keep it simple.

Good luck OP. I think it's likely that your son is finding the work difficult. If he doesn't have a consistent Maths teacher this won't have been picked up as quickly.
How this is handled is crucial in order to have a positive outcome, and you will know from your own childhood experience what sort of approach isn't helpful.

Be carefully with the assumption that he is doing well in other subjects as thatay or may not be the case. If he does not have a maths teacher at the moment then can you afford a tutor?

Oh op I do feel for you.

It's really tough that he doesn't have an actual maths teacher. There is a shocking shortage of secondary maths teachers but schools should prioritise KS4. I think it's worth having a meeting with HoY or head of maths dept and asking if this is going to change. That's not unreasonable.

Re the history - they will be studying certain discrete topics. Ds2 is in yr 11 and is doing Hitler and the third reich, medicine through time, the Normans and err can't recall. Anyway, not whims of the teacher as much as the exam board. Revision guides for history cover the separate topics - does he know what he has covered so far?

I think it's helpful to mix it up too - how about a bit of English? He must know what book he has done - maybe get the dvd of it and talk about the plot, what happens next. If it's any Shakespeare or Christmas Carol or inspector calls or animal farm or Frankenstein a dvd version is readily available! (he won't be doing all those!).

Does he do MFL? There are lots of apps and websites. I liked Duolingo and Memrise for vocab.

Does the school set homework online? Can you get your son's log in to check if he has any?

I think the main problems are the lack of continuation in maths teaching, and the fact that your son seems to be so disengaged from learning. The harsh facts are that if he doesn't pass English and maths GCSE he will have to keep retaking them until he does. This will impact what he is able to do post 16.

Unfortunately it might be that the lack of support at home before now will have influenced his lack of interest and motivation.

I would also consider hiring a tutor.

Another US transplant here and teacher in UK secondary school for 10+ years.
Loads of good advice from all the prev. posters. Plus you've found your secret weapon - mumsnet

FYI - 'the papers' are the different tests which together make up the exam for a subject. So for any given course (history/English/maths, etc) there will be 2-4 tests on various aspects. In MFL for example there are 4 separate 'papers' for the 4 skills: reading, writing, speaking and listening. During exam season (May - June), the papers will be all mixed up so that pupils take 2 - 3, but not necessarily for the same subject, per day. Nationally, the times and dates to take the specific papers are coordinated so pupils across the country will take the same paper at the same time.

Usually schools keep copies of the papers from previous years and give them to pupils to practise on. As others have mentioned, the papers changed in many subjects about 2 years ago so there is not as big a backlog of past papers as there used to be.

Your carrot & stick approach sounds good. Also, as a KS3 (yr 7-9) and KS4 (yr10-11) teacher, I have observed that pupils, and boys in particular, often suddenly 'grow into' school, helpfully turning into a whole different, more organised creature. With any luck, your boy will have a transformation this spring or over the summer so just keep plugging away.

I really thought DS was in year 10. I meant year 11.

Oh wait, he's in year 10? Phew! I've been writing as if he's in year 11! Save all of my advice for NEXT year! Intervention... all of that... next year, OP! Don't sweat this year. Yes, year 10 is angsty but don't worry. Year 11, the school will kick in with a lot of guidance, intervention, and support.

I am SO sorry! I've probably thrown you into despair! Seriously. I am sorry. I really thought DS was in year 10.

Year 10 was the hardest year for DS because he was terrified of GCSEs and just didn't put the work in. Year 11, he absolutely got his act together and the school really supported the pupils amazingly. So... don't panic. Things have a way of falling into place.

But in your own case, do plug in now. Make sure you comb over the newsletters. Don't worry about the AQA/OCR books until next year!
You'll get a lot of information at your first parent-teacher consultation in Autumn 2019. You get lots of information in general, next year and you'll feel more involved. Good luck!