Starting secondary support thread 2

So is your holiday now I’m Norway Penguins ?
(I’ve been on this thread but currently nc for a different thread).
We had parents evening last week and I decided to see 2 non core subjects after just doing core last time. So I saw the nutrition and the PE teacher. The PE teacher in particular was great, said how he was always happy to try new stuff, learn new skills and didn’t care if he didn’t win. DS has been going to rugby club and has recently started badminton as well - even though they are on the same night!

DD loves animals too so that part is easy. She was a bit at the ax throwing then said I will do it! DS said he will throw them at DD plus not convinced they speak English so I won't be too sorry if they don't reply, don't have space.

I found a family day that includes bows and arrows and ax throwing and DS was so keen but not sure that's a good idea. They've got lots of wildlife were we are going and DS is very excited as "I love eagles, I love puffins, I love seals, I love otters, I love beavers, I love moose and I love killer whales"

That sounds perfect for ds too. However his sisters would not be impressed.
We just go to Butlins which suits them all. We go as a group so they have a lovely time being totally independent.

DD has been asking Maths teacher about Kangaroo every lesson driving him nuts 😂 but it took quite a while to get them, she kept getting I don't know but DD won't take no for an answer. That would be so annoying if they just forgot Witchend but DD said other half of year who didn't have DDs nagging ability only found out on Wednesday and not given full result.

Hope the dentist and migraine gets sorted, at least its the weekend.

DD told me she has scored between 100 and 125/126 based on DSs answers so thinks she will have the extra certificate. She is still on a hair dye disaster programme - currently at light ginger. She had today off for a headache skiving promised she would do homework and not disturb my wfh, well she did no homework and didn't shut up. Grrr. Still DH home now.

Novosol cancelled our holiday cottage booking for the summer and that areas now booked up mostly so had to find an alternative. DS has announced when in Norway he will spend 35% of his time outdoors otherwise the holiday is pointless. 😎 I found a family day that includes bows and arrows and ax throwing and DS was so keen but not sure that's a good idea. They've got lots of wildlife were we are going and DS is very excited as "I love eagles, I love puffins, I love seals, I love otters, I love beavers, I love moose and I love killer whales" DH kept stressing there won't be enough people around despite the fact he never talks to anyone on holiday and he got Google Earth to search for supermarkets, he found 5 then agreed which was good as I had already booked it DS said he might try rock climbing.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Ds went back this week (with a fight) then had Wednesday off with a migraine. I think probably a reaction to the nose spray he was given for the ear ache as he's only had migraines as allergy before.

Persuaded him in on Thursday to get a call mid morning saying he'd been sick. I do have some suspicions about this, whether it was a fingers down the throat or exaggerated spit, I'm not sure. So I told school he's sick when a migraine is coming or when his temperature comes up (both totally true) and if he wasn't sick again could he come back and they agreed. So he's in today. He's not infectious and will his attendance descending towards 85% I felt it was a good idea.

Dd2 is very put out that they haven't been told the results of the intermediate maths challenge. She thinks that if it's not one of the teacher's favourites getting into kangaroo round then the teacher might just "forgot" to tell them in time. She's only one of two from her year that has got through in earlier years, I believe. I will be unimpressed if it has been "forgotten" and she should have sat the paper yesterday.

Dd1's been my focus this week. Her only health issue is she's got a dentist phobia. A major one so our usual one refuses to do anything else as he can't do sedation. Unfortunately the NHS does not do sedation for 18yos. So she went last week to have the first sedation. It was amazing. She managed to stay calm and let them get on. Cost £500, got the impression that would be similar for the other 2 appointments she needs. Took me 6 months to persuade her to do that.

So we went back yesterday for a check up and plan for the rest of her mouth. I knew it was bad because she's got 2 damaged teeth (came through without enamel) and they've "infected" the ones around. £4-£5k to sort the lot.

I've been stuck what to do. I know dh will just say "can't afford it, she'll have to do it without". I know she's not capable of it.

However today I've found somewhere that says they can do the treatment on the NHS and the sedation privately. If I hadn't been on the phone I'd probably have hugged them. I've just got to get dd1 to agree, and I think she will, she knows we don't have that sort of money around.
She was so happy after the first sedation because she felt she could finally sort it all, and so upset since the appointment.

I'm hoping she'll be home shortly (she has every other Friday a waste of time "lesson" called "Prospects" where they're meant to discuss what they're doing after A-levels) so I can talk about it before I have to pick the others up.

And this morning I thought I'd found a mouse nest in one of the drawers under the bed. I sent dh a photo saying that was for him to sort out. He hasn't replied. However after a certain amount of googling I concluded it was "just" clothes moths having had many years' worth of snacks. My lovely jumper that was horrendously expensive which I bought as a student so probably not expensive at all was just holes. I think it's moths as only the wool stuff was touched. I hope so anyway.
Although my room now looks like the contents have been thrown into the middle of the room and stirred as I moved things. I've now run out of energy.

Ed Psych went well and DD did Int. Maths Kangaroo today - they let them take question papers home so she's given it to DS saying I need the answers.

😂 at the Lancaster bomber. Hope your DS is fully recovered now Witchend

Dobbins We just use lots of empty Chinese containers as DS loses everything.

DD has blonde hair naturally and its now turned red/ brown with the dyeing not an improvement I have just vetoed her trying a black dye. She's off at youth club. DS came home singing the Cillit Bang advert and they were both agreeing maths competitions are great as you get to miss English for them. DDs maths paper on Thursday during English.

Hope the Ed Psych goes well-and the dye comes out!

DS was telling me he had to do a presentation and he put a slide with a turtle in at the end with why not on as he likes turtles
Reminds me of when ds was in the infants and they had to do a project about a minibeast.
He chose Hawk. I pointed out this was not a minibeast. He said he knew it, but he could then talk about the Red Arrows (the plane is called a Hawk) which were more interesting.
Eventually he was persuaded to go for snails.
He managed a while project on snails, until the last page, where there was a big picture of a Lancaster Bomber. Underneath it had the caption "The Lancaster Bomber is not a snail."

Ds has got ear pain. I'm not sure how bad, but it isn't infected, just a lot of fluid, so he had the end of last week off school. He's back (with strong objections) this week.

I hope Dd's able to get her hair the colour she wants. Hope the Ed Psych appointment goes well.

Ds2 is fine now. He's got cooking today, I have my doubts over whether he'll remember to collect it before going home. I've said I'm not buying new Tupperware each time so he better had!

How is your DS now Dobbins?

DD decided to dye her hair, didn't like first colour so redyed it and still doesn't like it so is now putting washing up liquid in her hair.

DS was telling me he had to do a presentation and he put a slide with a turtle in at the end with why not on as he likes turtles and he had a peer review saying turtle not needed and he's about that. DD has Intermediate Maths Kangaroo on Thursday and we have Ed Psych on Wed.

Your poor DS Dobbins at least he can have a good rest this weekend.

We have had weird EP diagnosis in past too - first one said never to use any discipline ever and let DS do exactly what he wants at all time in year 2. That went well. Had parents evening yesterday - could only see three teachers as English and Science fully booked but rest were very positive diplomatic DD had PE today and she said they said "due to the weather" they were changing PE teachers around and kids got choice of PE teacher so DD went to another one. One all the girls reported is still in a very bad mood with girls and was inspecting socks very carefully - no issue with boys socks that were wrong colour but all girls with wrong socks were in trouble The Deputy Head is Head of Safeguarding though she did back down when I objected to the drama comment and said she agreed with me.

Glad the Deputy called you, doesn't sound great they were pretty much dismissing it as drama. I hope DD doesn't encounter him again. Yikes at the Ed Psych questionnaire, is it possible he/she was trying to gauge how the teachers are interacting with him? The EP that assessed DS3 has more or less said it's all down to crap teaching, which is you know, really easy to solved(!)

DS2 not well today, sent him in told him to see how it went. Student support sent him away a couple of times, eventually called me at 2pm to come and get him. he'd completely lost his voice, feeling like crap etc. Acted surprised when I mentioned he has CFS? He's just reached 90% attendance which is probably why they were determined to keep him until the afternoon.

Ed Psych was trying to get SENCO to send out a very helpful questionnaire asking teachers what DS gains from behaviour and cc'd me in. I was a bit blunt about that but its so unhelpful pre assessment to send out this is a naughty child, why questionnaires even without autism. Neutral observation forms great which is what we have now agreed.

How is everyone?

PE teacher is still there but after an irate e-mail to school I got a call from Deputy Head - who thought it was partly drama but they have taken action - and DD says there's rumours he's leaving shortly. They have agreed any problems DD can leave and go to see Head of Safeguarding so we at least have a solution for us.

DD has done options form though not putting dance as its PE teacher but gone for triple science then 4 out of 8 business/arts options are business, engineering, design and tech and music. - they had to write post 16 plans and she wrote I am going to do a Maths or Engineering degree at Cambridge University and my A Levels will be Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry and Physics. I got her to put an ideally before the Cambridge but she was annoyed at me after for that, its an unnecessary addition!

PE teacher definitely still at school so presumably just got warning. DS came back singing and dancing its raining, its raining soaking wet and just had a hyper 30 mins of singing and dancing and non-stop talking. DD did her detention at lunch and got told it was my fault again, DS told her it was her own fault so did I and think it got through. She only missed 30 mins in the cold and rain so was probably the better option.

Hope yours are all OK Dobbins Don't think I will be getting my car flower pots back anytime soon.

at the driving bun penguins. The school will have to be very careful about what they reveal about the investigations, I do hope it's all dealt with properly.

DD thinks he was just at a PE event, argh. She doesn't next have him until Thurs.

DS was due to have the PE teacher today and he says he wasn't there, it was a supply teacher so maybe DD was wrong about him being there today. Or maybe he was suspended today. Have to wait and see. They've told DD they can't accept any second hand evidence so has to be person who witnessed and they have to provide written statements. DD did one today. They have said to DD they are taking action but obviously they can't say what. Must be a first for DS to be more observant than DD.

In other news rabbits are learning to drive.

eurgh pinguin
it's such a difficult situation.
must be hard for you and your dd.

Not sure how much school are doing as he's still in school. DD does not want to go to lessons with him and says he's glaring at her. They've said they are taking action but think it must just be a warning as he's still there which is just going to make situation worse as he blames DD. He teaches her and DS for dance and PE though don't thin he's realised DS is her brother - DS looks similar but about 6 years younger despite just being 1 year younger.

DD is really mad with me. Last week I got told DD didn't get to school until 8.45am and they wanted to know what time she left home. Starts at 8.30am. Thought it a bit excessive for 15 mins but odd as she left home on time. Quizzed her at home and she said her and her friend arrived at school at 8.35am and rather than go into school then hung round outside for 10 mins as its embarrassing being late. Told school and they've given DD and friend a 30 minute detention and DD's friend, its her 3rd 30 minute detention this term so she gets 1.5 hours detention and apparently this is all my fault. I didn't expect them to get that but on other hand its not great behaviour and it will escalate into more stupid ideas with no consequences.

I have that with homework all the time Dobbins with both mine - 7.45am is the perfect time for starting homework due in that day. DD always says she says it doesn't count as homework unless its due in next day so you have to go what homework have you got that's due in tomorrow, what that's due in on Wed, etc etc. DS just suffers selective memory loss.

I hope the school investigate it properly Penguin

Quiet weekend here, DS2 maintaining he had no homework to do (apart from maths that he'd forgotten to pick up) then hastily completing some kind of worksheet this morning!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. DD is at a sleepover party and some work done on old house, otherwise a bit rainy here.

Got e-mails from Head and Safeguarding Lead saying PE teacher is being dealt with so sounds promising. DD said end of last lesson he got her to come in his office and was saying she needed to say the word pants which sounds odd too. He is Australian but . The year 7 girl told her he walks into their changing room as they are getting undressed too but said you should never grass (or whatever word old people don't use for that is!) but is a lot worse in the not overlooked changing room. So DD is off to find a year 7 who will grass! She's a girl on a mission. She did say they won't do anything as PE teachers are hard to find and could I e-mail various people and ask if they will be her PE teacher including her old Headmaster and her old PE teacher at grammar who she hated!

Thanks very much - interesting about PDA. He appears in fantasyland when being David Cameron or Einstein and happy, seems to have a worrying attraction to Trump too Though has gone into character in the past to avoid things like when he became a dog just woofing at the Headmistress aged 8 Have wondered about PDA before. Glad you found the tie.

DD just told her PE teacher gave her 3 detentions today after he confronted her about reporting him though quickly cancelled them all. She's at youth club now so is going to ask year 7 girls if he walks into their changing rooms. He's a long-term cover teacher from what DD said. She said they've worked a way to lock him out but not ideal. She says he keeps getting the girls to do this exercise where they go on all 4s and stick a leg out at the back and he watches their bottoms - she says she turns round. Could be in their imagination but have told school so they can check. 4 of them went to raise it but forgot half the things so I e-mailed them all, DD will be mad at me, but sounds dodgy.

The girl rabbit is really gentle and well behaved and lets DD cuddle her and carry her round, boy rabbit is a hyperactive PITA but DD loves him. I am really allergic to their hay so don't see them much, I prefer cats though am quite attached to fluffy girl rabbit. And at least they are easier than St Bernards which is what the original nagging was for and DD does take care of them and is paying for them in theory.

Poor cat Penguins!. I like rabbits from a distance, but was put off them as a pet when I looked after my friend's. hers were particularly feisty at feeding time! Well done to DD on her maths results, hope you can get the PE situation sorted, sounds v dodgy.

If you have a look at PDA (pathological demand avoidance) you may find some parts of that autistic profile resonate, particularly if DS goes through phases of being in character. It's a bit of a controversial dx which makes it one that's not that helpful at this point in time, and tbh I seem elements in mine, but not the whole thing. But I do think when there is extreme anxiety DS1 can resort to all kinds of things to avoid what is stressing him.

Sorry DD2 is suffering with migraines, hope she's feeling better soon witchend. There is some kind of 6 week system for tech subjects at DS2's school, so I don't have too many weeks of ingredient faff. Today's lesson was a test on health and safety in the kitchen. Thrilling stuff apparently.

I found DS2's tie. by the back door which is the obvious place . Apparently he was sent here and there in search of where to buy one, ran out of time as the bell went but no one commented on the lack of tie so he got away with it.