Shout and scream or Coffee and Tea??

Is she in Year 7? One term is a very short amount of time to show progress especially in year 7 where you daughter needs to settle into a new routine. People in a new job normally need a few months settling in before they start producing their best work.

When do you want school to do this ‘coaching’ and how do you propose they find staff to do this?

Some children are always going to be less able. Going on about it to your DD is hardly going to boost her confidence in her ability!

Some children actually perform better in the lower sets. They are often smaller groups than the upper sets so that the pupils can be given more support and more time spent on new topics.

After one term in Y7 I doubt that you will see much progress regardless of which set she is in. Most of Y7 is spent consolidating existing knowledge - with children having come from different schools, there will always be gaps in everyone's knowledge.

On what basis are you assessing your DDs lack of progress? Have the school expressed any concerns? When you told the teachers what to do in the primary school did they give any indication that your DD might have any special needs? Has she been assessed for eg dyslexia etc?

Yes English, Maths and Science are important but there more than one way to skin a cat.what does your daughter enjoy studying? Where is her natural aptitude?

The educational environment is so competitive these days. Try not to get trapped in that mentality, and unpick exactly what is going on with your dd. Have some conversations with her about the work she does at school and how much of it she is able to take in. It might be that she has a specific learning disability if she seems intelligent outside of school. Other people have already suggested that you have a careful think about where her abilities lie. Make sure you are not projecting your own insecurities onto her. Good luck.

Can you explain succinctly what you see the problem to be? As far I can work out from your post the problem is she is in bottom band. If that’s the case then that is probbaly the most appropriate place for her to learn. A child in too high a set will often struggle.

Is she really not making any progress at all or is her progress inline with her starting point? There is a huge difference between these things.

Don’t just give her random homework it’s unlikely to do anything positive. The best thing you can do is to encourage a love of reading. Do you and your wife read for pleasure? Do you do dicuss books? These things make a huge difference. At 12 she is not too old for you to still be reading books to her.

Is she making progress? Some kids are brighter than others and the teachers can’t magic her into a higher set. Does she have any SEN?

Don't give the teachers a bollocking. It most certainly does not work. Ask them how you can support her. No teacher is just letting their students get on with it. It doesn't work like that. We are held responsible for our students progress.

Are we talking bottom set of a super selective grammar or are we talking about a comp? What do you think your child is capable of?

Agree that going in guns blazing is not helpful.

Dude sometimes you have to accept your kid ain't bright. Find something she is good or enthusiastic at and hone that.

Are you sure she just doesn't have any more ability than she is currently showing? Not every child can get the highest grades, that isn't a criticism of them or the school but it is a fact. Yes tuition might help a bit, but what if you need to keep it up until she's 16? Can yo u afford that?
Is she perhaps really good at something else you hold less stock in - music or art etc?
If you're concerned they're not enabling her enough, have a calm meeting, ask them what they're doing to help her develop and what you as parents can do.
Accept that she might never be an academic high flier but that she's still awesome.stop arguing with our wife over whether your 12 yo is good enough.

Also she doesn't need tons of homework, she's been in big school just a couple of months.

And giving a teacher a ** is guaranteed to piss them right off. What a charming comment.

Unfortunately you may have to accept that she is in the bottom set as that is where her anbility places her. She may move up a set, she may not. But teachers are professionals, and l am aware of the abilities of all the 220 or so kids l teach every week. Every single one of them.

Move her if you are unhappy with the school, but don’t take it out on her teachers. I’ve been teaching 25 years and have never had a ** from a parent. And if l did lveould go straight to my union who would be onto it

‘They are happy for her to just amble along’

We have to justify the progress of every single student to hang onto our jobs. Believe me, no one will be letting her amble along.