Shout and scream or Coffee and Tea??

Just wanted to pop on the thread and say well done dad for listening to the advice and making a plan for your dd 😊 it's hard when we feel our kids aren't progressing as we feel they should. It seems like you're doing the right thing.

“the next night she would have to fill in the gaps”? This sounds good but I don’t think I fully understand.

Basically I read chapter 1. DD would carry on reading until lights out, so maybe 2 more chapters. The next night I couldn't possibly read chapter 4 to her until I knew what had happened in chapter 2 and 3 - it wouldn't make any sense would it? So she had to fill me in on what had happened. Sometimes if something came up which I hadn't come across (obviously related to something in a chapter she had read) I would ask her to explain. Helps with comprehension etc. And we could also chat about hte plot, or different characters, their actions, what we might do in a similar circumstance etc.

My dd school were excellent at helping her achieve in every area but English. She'd steadily climbed the groups in everything but this. She has dyslexia and was taught for three years in the bottom set by the same teacher. No disrespect to her and I think it was a very hard group but my daughter had proved she could do better in every other subject, it was just her written English that was letting her down. I spoke to the head of English and explained it all (calmly) that she deserved a chance. So they moved her up and she got a B which we were thrilled at.
They also gave her permission to not do French and she had extra support lessons in that time.
We also gave her every credit and support for the lessons that she loved too, including out of school music lessons.

Without knowing her actual ability, it's difficult to know where to pitch advice. I assume she can read reasonably well? Helping her comprehension, being able to infer things from the text etc are useful skills.
How about picking a book and reading it at the same time so that you can both talk about the plot, characters etc.
Another option my DD used to enjoy was reading a book together - I read a chapter at bed time, then she would carry on reading until lights out. The next night she would have to fill in the gaps, before I carried on reading. It helps to make sure they are understanding what they area reading. Being able to re-tell a story succinctly is an important skill.
Or how about a play script, and each reading different parts?
Reading newspaper reports and then discussing hte topic - can be on any subject that interests her.
Maths is harder, but even things like cooking help with numbers.
Would she be interested in computer coding eg.

To practise maths what about cooking - weighing out ingredients, scaling recipes up or down, shopping for ingredients and working out the change etc.
English - instead of reading to her you could both read the same book and then discuss it together. If it's a book with a film adaptation you could then watch it together and compare it to the book. Go to the theatre? Also word games like Scrabble, Taboo, Articulate etc.

How about apps? If you have a phone or tablet? I do lumosity and peak which are fun brain training ones all with different games each day and both free

Like the sound of your plan op. Best of luck.

Read with her? I still read with my 11 and 12 yr olds most evenings. Find a novel that might interest you both and read it to her before bed. It will feel weird at first but you will both come to really enjoy it. You can talk about the book together, read more complicated things she might not read by herself.

Hi OP you literally could be writing this post (almost) for me! My DD is summer baby in Y6 and has struggled with maths since day 1. I have always been very proactive in trying to work with school to help her. KS1 teachers basically told me to relax, she's young, she'll get there. Well she is still bottom and struggling and I'm dreading SATs now.

We've had a maths tutor once a week for a year now and one thing that's improved massively is her confidence so I'm at the stage now with it that - She seems happier with maths and whilst she works her bloody socks off at it she will probably always find it hard. Teachers all say she's hard working. I know in the past I've been guilty of projecting and comparison but I've also felt let down by what I perceive as schools willingness to just let her plod on. She basically hovers just under the "below age expectation " level or equivalent.

So sorry nothing to add but to say I know exactly where your coming from. And yep, DH have often taken our worries about this out on each other! Life after school for our kids seems especially uncertain and competitive and we desperately want them to be ready. For me you absolutely need to crack maths for this!

I think other posters have provided a useful reality check and your plan going forward sounds like a really good one. I can see why some have been hard on you but totally get how much of a worry it is.

FWIW I think she's got good parents behind her who will help and that's more than some kids have. Just make sure you always tell her how brilliant she is and how proud you are of her - help build her self belief.

Good luck OP

My parents used to take me on outings relevant to things we were learning in school e.g. a castle when we had a castles project, a walk where I had to navigate when we were doing map skills etc. I have no doubt this enhanced my learning in school and helped me to understand concepts and enjoy the topics more but it wasn't extra homework as such.
If you can't do that then what about finding relevant videos and documentaries on YouTube for her to watch at home to support what she is learning in school?

I give my 2 extra homework. We've got a subscription to One Third Stories for spanish, and we're working through Scottish history (because in school they only hit the main historical figures and a couple of battles). But mine are only 5 and 7 so it's really just story telling with them, not sitting them down to so work.

We do extra reading and numbers, but again, it's fun. We play games rather than doing actual work.

As they get older, I'm going to see how it goes but I imagine I will always give them something to do until they reach high school. Then they need to concentrate on their subjects, and I wouldn't know the curriculum enough to give them applicable extra work.

It's up to you if you want to find out the curriculum and give her appropriate learning resources.

Sounds like a plan!

I really do think this is the right approach. If school aren't complaining that your DD is mucking about/not doing homework etc, then she is obviously trying.

If she is allowed to enjoy what she likes and is good at, her confidence will improve and may help boost her other subjects.

I think the maths tutor is fine.

Good luck to you all.

I don't believe for a moment this is a real post.. no one thinks schools would it should change subjects around so a child can do just English and maths. Annoying wind up merchant.

“A bright child will achieve good grades no matter the band.”

Not necessarily true- sometimes lower sets do lower tier exams so can’t get higher grades. But no need for the OP to be thinking about that yet.