Shout and scream or Coffee and Tea??

At DD's school I very rarely see exercise books as they stay in the classroom.

re topics are well understood.

This is primarily for maths and science. When DD has assessments for those 2 subjects they send home a list of topics. As I have a maths degree and am of scientific nature and have the science CGP books, I have enough ability to go through the stuff and make sure she understands it and to help her learn it. So we can go through how to use area of triangle formula, or the transpiration stream and I can put things into accessible language.

The other subjects are harder as their assessments are more 'skill based' and its not my area of expertise. But I help her learn relevant facts (again often supplied prior to assessments) and I can talk through structural things like use of Point Evidence Explain, and structure of 'Which is more important A or B' answers (1. A is important because … we know this because …. for example …. 2. B is important …… 3. On balance I think ….)

I am very hands on. Many MN posters would say far too much. But I don't care much if it helps her get grades 4/5 rather than 2/3 for her end GCSEs. Because I do agree with you, having those magic passes in maths and English (and at least 3 others) will provide many more choices and future options than not having them.

I'm glad you listened to the sage advice on here OP. Your first post had be a bit worried this was going to be an an all guns blazing thread.

Sometimes children find transition tough. Sometimes students really do hit their limit or they hit a threshold concept and until that clicks then others don't follow.

What I would say is i genuinely don't get he issue about being in bottom band.
Students need to be in the class that best allows them to learn. There's no point in parents (speaking generally) pushing to be moved up if their child is going to feel out of their depth in the next group. Some of my top classes to teach have been lower groups. We do things a bit differently and a bit slower and the progress gap takes a while to close if doing it properly (vs heavily planning their assessments so the data looks good) and in time they can be writing as well as the class above, if not higher.

There's limited impact on homework so I wouldn't worry about setting it. Homework only really has an impact if it is well designed, purposeful, a certain type of task. Reading together is a good thing to do. You can also look online for books for reluctant readers and they are books for ks3 aged students but with easier language to help catch them up.

Maths tutoring should be concepts and logic (but a maths specialist will probably advise further).

It's worth talking to the school and finding out her strengths and weaknesses. Please don't go in guns blazing, threatening complaints etc as it doesn't resolve anything.

Move her to a better school. Giving her random homework and a weekly tutoring session isn’t going to make a difference. If you teach a child the skills they require to learn (primarily literacy, numeracy and, reason) they will always do well because they will be good at learning. By the sounds of it your daughter hasn’t learned how to learn yet. You need to be teaching her reason. Maths tutoring should be focused on areas like statistical analysis rather than basic mathematical covdepts which can be easily picked up for rational minded people. How literate is she? If she doesn’t read and wrote confidently then this also needs to be addressed.

Further to the above, I don't ever really do 'extra homework' in term time.

But I do make sure topics are understood (both for homework and for tests) and that tests are properly revised for. We have tended over the years to use the summer and Easter breaks for 'catch up and not forgetting'. So e.g. at primary DDs did holiday diaries for handwriting and spelling practice.

Another point re reading at night. I still read with my 15 year old. Only we might call it reading but actually it's just time when we get focussed 1 to 1 time. Sometimes we read. Sometimes we talk about the book or things that come up. Sometimes he tells me what he's been doing at school or what's bothering him. Sometimes he tells me what he's watching on you tube or we discuss something happening in the world. The reading time is invaluable because its my time to get to know him and understand where I can help or support or when I just need to back off. Going in determined it fix everything is not always a good approach. Sometimes it doesn't need fixing or your child needs to learn to fix it themself.

When my DD was in juniors and struggling with maths, I signed her up for Kumon lessons. They 'tested' her and set work at a very low level. Her problems were not knowing the basic number bonds, not knowing her tables etc. She came on leaps and bounds, and is now doing a degree.
I have recently been helping a friend's DD with maths and I have found the same problems my DD had. But this girl is now 12 and doesn't know her tables properly or basic number bonds, and because of this she is falling behind - makes a lot of silly mistakes etc. She does have the potential to do well but needs to spend a lot of time learning the basics and also repeating work and questions.
No, this isn't 'fun' but it is essential to learn the basics as it does make the harder concepts much easier to get right.

Lots of great advice here. Not sure if it has been mentioned but Yahtzee is a great game which includes maths but doesn't scream Educational Activity at you. Also playing charades is really interesting at this age and good fun.

And I know I missed a full stop. Skitt's Law.

(OP, while you're being so pleasantly accommodating to well-meaning criticism, could I please point out, in the manner of the obnoxious pedant I am, that it's 'per se', not 'per say'? Thank you for your indulgence)

I have a mid-low ability DD1 & DD2 with some SpLD.

At school, she will be being taught to her ability along with 20-25 others in her class. The school will have set the timetable according to what they think is needed.

Tutoring / help at home can make a massive difference though.

My DD1 steadily moved up maths sets throughout secondary with regular help from me (including in summer holidays). DD2 (y9) is currently creeping up slowly too. I get DD2 to tell me as they do new topics and then I can go through them slowly with her to make sure she has grasped it, and then before tests we do revision and practice too.

For science again, preparing well for tests can help a lot as it makes them go through the learned info and you can check they understand it. The KS3 and GCSE CGP guides are very good for having the right level of info. I would invest in the KS3 one now if I were you.

English I have found much harder to help with and we now have a tutor for DD2 to give her the focussed 1-1 help that I'm not qualified to give. A long term slow-burn help though would be to get DVDs of Shakespeare plays, and get her used to them so they seem more familiar and more accessible when the time comes.

imo Secondary is about playing the long game. You won't get band movement in a term, or possibly a year. But depending on how they band and set there can still be solid improvements within a band.

What you really don't want is for her to be in too high a set where the pace is too fast and she ends up feeling thick as that will dent confidence which hampers progress.

Another one on to say I am impressed how well you have taken on board both advice and some criticism on this thread.

Lots of threads on mn seem futile because the op responds to criticism (which can be over the top) by being defensive.

So refreshing. Good luck with your plan. It sounds great.

It is really obvious from this thread how much you care for your dd and are taking things on board. Just to give a different perspective, I did teach my dd maths at home from books. Mainly CGP or Letts revision guides and workbooks. Teaching really takes a lot of listening to the child. I found it creative in seeing how I could put things into pictures or make it more entertaining. Felt pens and plenty of drawing and graph paper helped. At the end of each lesson, I would get her to indicate with her thumb as to how much she understood it. This gave the message that I did not expect her to get it all at once. After all, maths is practice, like anything else.

This is just my opinion, but I would ask her if she wanted to do this, how often and at what time in the week. The start of year 7 is very tiring though as a lot of energy is going into being social at a new school.
I'm not adverse to a bit of good, old-fashioned bribery: collect 10 stars for a trip out/lego set/cuddly toy.

My dd loved the Percy Jackson books at that age.

I'm glad you came to the conclusion of coffee and tea over shouting and screaming. If she does well in the end of year tests, that will be the time to ask questions. I once went into school with the happy knowledge I did not have to shout and scream, because once my bum had made contact with the chair there was no way they would part again until I had answers. All hints of time were met with a smile and the words, "Yes, but..."

Your plan sounds great.

The only think I would change is instead of getting a specific dyslexia test you should get her assessed for learning difficulties. It is very unlikely that school will be able to pay for this or do it in a good time frame so you would need to see a private Ed psych.

Tbh she worked so hard at school and with her homework that I didn't ask anything else of her, dyslexia to her means everything takes twice as long to understand and do.
Out of school stuff was fun.
We always did books on tape or cd for her, this has given her an amazing repertoire of words and speaking to her she speaks very well.

I asked after the second year and they said they thought she should stay there. I said I didn't agree but would go with it. That year everything seemed to click in other subjects and then 8 went back to say she needs the chance to achieve. And won't get it in the bottom set, which was full of behaviour issues and I felt she was flying under the radar. So they agreed.